Accha Lagta Hai, KMG, Accha Lagta Hai. Review on Koi Mil Gaya

Note/Disclaimer/Info: Kept harping about this movie and finally managed to see it last week. Had a helluva time getting tickets but Papa came through (he likes to play the knight to my damsel in distress routine), he usually glares at me if I mention I want to watch a movie in a theatre. “What am I paying the cable guy for? Snow?” is what he growls.

Let’s go…

________________________________________________________________

Prosecution (P): Honoured Wigged One, while everyone waits to watch Hrithik trip over his own size-twelves, I humbly request you to make a decision using your supernatural predictive powers. Please declare this a Universal Trash.(The law be damned, I can’t stand that bumbling Goliath!)

Defense (D): No, Honoured Black-Coated One, hasty judgments have a way of coming back at you like….um…ummm…boomerangs? Let’s have a fair trial, please! (Please, please, pretty please…for once I want to see a Indian movie with aliens in it! I wanna, wanna wanna!)

P: Okay, if you say so, let’s do it. Honoured Wigness, I wanna know what was Roshan Baldie thinking, making a sci-fi in the land of serious Mumbo-Jumbo? He named his dang alien Jadoo, for cryin’ out loud!! Is that Indian or is that Alien?? Huh? Huh?

D: No, Honoured Flightiness! As my obnoxious bumbler of a colleague believes, it is not a sci-fi movie and the One-with-Shining-Pate has proclaimed thus to all willing to listen to him. It is more about the Tall One displays human emotions and how to bond with blue aliens. (Good God! I can’t believe I said that! ‘Bond with blue aliens’??!! Is this new-age relationship management? NRM? Gotta think about this one…)

P: ‘Bond with blue aliens’??!! Pshah!! How can a supposedly ‘mentally dysfunctional’ boy bond with anyone other than his primary caretaker? By the way, my Holy Judiciousness, Madame Rekha is gorgeous and does not look like anyone’s mother, let alone a retarded Hrithik’s. And what medical hotchpotchery!! Hrithik lost his shiny little marbles when his mom landed on her belly while he was sleeping the sleep of the undead. (Huh? What was that?) Let me say, Your Sanctimoniousness, people don’t usually fall off their rockers like that! They either die as unborn little pink bundles all curled like shrimps or they are all on the right track ( I hope what I said wasn’t pure mumbo-jumbo, sleep deprivation…I’ll claim that!!)

D: Objection, Your Officious Dignity, artistic liberty cannot be questioned. Shiny Head can portray his version of mental dysfunction and call it Foo-Mang-Choo, for all we care! The point is while Tallie was dysfunctional and riding the scooty, he was tossed all over the place by a bunch of baddies.(Who looked rather dishy, I must say! Whatsisname Bedi has more muscles than Tall Size Twelve! Were we looking at beef sides???) He regularly flunked Class VI and had no chance of getting into Class VII with the rest of his buddies (Pint-size dynamos!) let alone getting into a ‘Computer Class’ (Whatever did he want to do there?) In such a terribly terrible life, it is necessary to fiddle with dead papa’s ancient floppy-drived machine that does not look anything like a modern day computer and send out funky, synthesised ‘Om’ sounds. It is also perfectly reasonable to wish and pray and hope for normalcy.(There, that’s the crux of the movie! Wanting acceptance as a normal human being, not so bad eh? Must talk my way thru with this one…) So I ask you, Your Overwhelming Pomposity, what would you do if you were 3 cards short of a deck and a blue being in a toy-spaceship offered you ‘Jaadoo’ to make you all better? (I for one would have said Thanks so much and taken what was offered, don’t know about you, you silly coot. Say something!!)

P: Ok point granted, my Overly Blown Up Clown. However, except for Tall Size Twelve, the rest of the humanoids in the movie were ornamental decorations? I didn’t see any worthy accomplishements from any of them.

D: No they were not decorations!! The pint-sized nothings were good friends of Tall Size Twelve. Pretty dame Preity Zinta was compassion personified, beefcake Bedi was villainy non-personified while M’dme Re was just….M’dme Re!! Well, they all are a part of this hit caper, that counts for something ain’t it?

The judge is rudely awakened from deep slumber.

________________________________________________________________

Judge: Well for God’s sake, get the heck outta here and go see the movie! Leave me in peace. As it is the judiciary does not declare enough holidays for me to catch up on my beauty sleep. I lose sleep and then hair and then my wife and kids; it’s an escalating problem I tell you. Enjoy life while you can, so what if you have to watch some trash on the way. (Personally, I am waiting for someone to send me a couple of free tickets so I can watch this one myself! Teee heeee!!)

________________________________________________________________

Contd in Comments Kindly adjust