''Hi Friends! Welcome to the last, I mean the first episode of Mouthshut's Bollywood Opinions, and your ghost, I mean host for the evening is Karan Arora. We are standing outside Cineworld Cinemas, Ilford and waiting for this year's most awaited Bollywood flick's last show of the day to end. And I am going to randomly pick up a teenager and a kid once the show finishes to let you all know their views on the flick--fresh and uncensored.
Just 2 minutes to go...are you ready for the action!! Oye John, get me my comb!''
A voice from behind the camera:''Sirjee the camera is still on!''
Karan:What! (blushing) Alright friends! Here I go towards the doors (Doors opening and between all the chattering and twittering, Karan picks up a kid of probably 8 years and holding his hands tightly, moves towards the camera.) So here's the first guest of the evening (turning to the kid who seems to be blinded by the camera's light!) Beta tell them your name!
Kiddo: Sunny.
Karan: Alright Sunny, tell me did you like the film?
Sunny: (now beaming up!) Yes I did.
Karan: What did you like about it--camere ki taraf dekho bete..
Sunny:Jadoo--I loved him!
Karan: (turning towards the camera) Jadoo, incidentally is Bollywood's first ever alien. (Turning to Sunny) And what did you like about jadoo?
Sunny: Everything...he was so cute! Blue-coloured, big eyes and he was so good to Rohit... I love Jadoo! I want to meet him! See I got this teddy who's just like Jadoo (holding out a teddy for the camera!)
Karan: That's cute..achcha, now tell me, which was your favourite scene?
Sunny: (after some thought!)..umm..I liked the last scene...I cried when Jadoo went back, but I am so happy he gave Rohit back his powers. Now Nisha will marry Rohit and they will live happily ever after. And now nobody would hurt Rohit. (now joining both his hands as if clapping with joy!)
Karan:Can you tell everyone which was your favourite song?
Sunny: I loved that Jadoo wala song! (with that cute smile.) That magic song was also so cute. I loved its steps. But that Haila Haila was ekdum bakwaas. (Now looking bored.) Can I go now?
Karan: Yes, you can... but tell me just one thing... will you watch this movie again?
Sunny: (A loud scream that made Karan topple with the mic) YES, I WILL WATCH THIS A 100 TIMES. (Now slowing down!) I loved Hrithik, I loved that small Sardarji and I want to see that basketball match again. Bye! (Now running towards the loo!)
Karan: (Now getting up and facing the camera!) Clearly, the verdict is out. Mr. Rakesh Roshan has once again hit the bull's eye by successfully permeating the child-audience's psyche. A section of audience that has been ignored since time immemorial and fed with crap for years, looks like finally a film has arrived that can be called a worthy successor to Mr.India and Chhota Chetan. Thumbs up!
(Now looking away, in the direction of the doors, Karan starts running--a boy in his late teens walking out scratching his head and rubbing his eyes. Karan has got the second opinion-donator. )
Karan: As promised, this is our second guest of the evening who's going to give his opinions on the movie..
Teenager:(now pleasantly petrified at the whole host of cameramen and crew buzzing and closing around him, and then screaming to nowhere) WHERE THE HELL AM I?
Karan: (now comforting the boy) Sir, sir, you have just come out of a show and presently on television, and the audience wants to know your opinion on the flick you just saw. By the way (pointing the boy to the camera) can you tell them your name..
Teenager:(a bit suspiciously)err..Karan.
Karan:(Pleasantly surprised but breaking out hysterically) Oh! What a coincidence. Even I am Karan.
Karan2:(curtly) None of my business.
Karan: (a bit surprised) Sir, can you tell us why you came out of the hall so late?
Karan2: (Now practically scowling at the camera!) That's because I have been sleeping all the way through that gawddamn movie. What did they think they were showing the audience?
Karan: (Confused by the sudden outburst) Sir, sir, what exactly did you hate about that movie.
Karan2:(At his scowliest best) That scumbag which they have coined as an ''alien''. I mean look at the ludicrousness of the makers to present us a son of a goat painted blue on the face and label it as ''alien''. And what were all those bulbs lightning on his head and wrist and those silk robes...do they have sewing machines outside earth or what?
Karan: (in a comforting tone) Sir, actually KMG was made to be a fantasy film... and I think if Americans can give their versions of what they think are aliens, then why can the Indians?
Karan2: (now soothed down) Ya, maybe you are right, but couldn't they find a better color for an alien? Blue... and what was all that stuff about giving healing and flying powers, and I think I even heard him speaking ''thank you'' and ''dhoop'' (again with eyebrows crouched towards the centre!). (Adding in a mocking tone) You should have seen that spaceship from inside, it looked like one gold-mine. And the whole concept of calling a spaceship through sounds sucked really!
Karan: (continuing his calm tone) Sir, sir, KMG was a fantasy flick, and that alien has been loved by the children--I think they couldn't make it scarier or more awry, lest it would scare away those kiddos who are seeing it again and again. Anyways, everyone's praising Hrithik to the skies. Did you like him?
Karan2: (Now smiling) Of course I did. The sincerity with which he has played the role of a man with an under-developed brain left me speechless. Probably one of the most effective portrayals in recent times from an actor, he deserves every word of the adulation that he is getting. Everything was perfect, from expressions to voice modulation to mannerisms...he was just awesome. Though, I really can't rate his performance once that alien came, for I mostly slept through that climax. I simply couldn't digest the romantic angle or the soggy, cliched climax.
Karan: (Changing the topic) Alright, and how were the other performers?
Karan2:Well, Preity really didn't have much to do, and I would have loved to see her more expressive when Jadoo came to sight, but then maybe she was as petrified by the whole concept as me..(now slowing down, with that awkwardly shy smile) She looked like a dream though . I even liked the kids but can't fathom why Rekha had to do that Nirupa Roy-sort-of sob-sob role!
Karan:And any favourite songs?
Karan2:(beaming) I really enjoyed ''Idhar Chala Main''. Its got such a cheerful tune and picturised with utmost innocence...loved it! Of the rest, that Magic song was again wonderfully picturised but I am still guessing how Rohit could do a Jim Carrey without dhoop and Jadoo anywhere around. Baaki, all other songs were pure trash.
Interview ended in the comments section
