Kati Patang. Review on Kites Movie

Kites is a romantic saga distributed by Reliance worldwide. It opened on 10000 shows , on 2000 screens in India, and 500 screens worldwide, on first day. It had world premier in London, and a remix version in English is made by Brett Ratner ( the maker of Rush Hour, and the man responsible for breaking in Jackie Chan to western audiences) . The remix version is racier , minus the songs, minus a couple of scenes and the emotional melodrama. Roshan elder asked Brett to watch this movie and make an English/ western version of it , to introduce Hrithik to the west ( I wonder whatever for, aren’t there enough sucker fans here in this country, who movie after movie, never desert their stars , irrespective of the mediocrity of fare being dished out to them , at their expense, and in techno hyped packaging ). The idea being to make a movie that translates internationally. The movie often reminds us of Hollywood flicks; “ Bonnie & Clyde and Thelma & Louise ”, at some moments.

J (Hrithik) , incidentally has been described by his close family and paid critics as the John Travolta of India. I beg to differ since I have seen better quality dancing on New York streets by amateur kids. I prefer the sobriquet ‘ Pocket Hercules”, that our Salman Khan so aptly has been conferred. But J (for John Travolta) here is very well chiseled, bronzed and the proliferation of abs is quite evident. He does look a little nervous though dressed as a Matador, but doesn’t have to do it all the time. He has the same dance moves that we have so often seen; a rippling wave effect that he has patented. The title song is sung by Hrithik himself, to save on a singer, and he doesn’t have to try very hard to sound bad.

Some heartless critics have observed that there was an overdose of hype and publicity created around the movie , as promos and preliminary feedback suggested a rather lukewarm response. Notwithstanding, it seems to have worked and the movie is generating immense interest, and certain quarters are commenting that this movie is the next big thing after 3 Idiots ( no chance I think, but then the gullible Indian fan can grant venerable, godlike stature to much lesser mortals). Anyways, there I was , tagging along with my family for a dekko; and hereafter is a detached recall of the days’ proceedings.

The movie is quite watchable for the first time. J (Hrithik) is a dance teacher in USA, and a low life mercenary who has married 11 times in return for money he gets for the women earning a green card. Barbara ( Linda or Natasha), another poor mercenary from Mexico, seeking to improve her family’s pecuniary condition, is the last of them. Both of them are birds of a feather. Gina ( Kangana) , a student at J’s dance class, is in love with J. Gina is the daughter of Richie rich Bob, a casino owner in Vegas. Her brother, Toni, is in love with Natasha and set to be engaged to her. Toni loves to touch and caress Natasha, at every opportunity and in public, to assert his ownership rights, much like a dog marking his territory.

Both the siblings do not know of the intentions of J and Natasha, nor are they aware that the two are married. It is rather difficult to reconcile that a street smart, thieving, criminal, casino owning, influential family is totally done in by the charms of the scheming duo. All of them meet at Toni’s engagement to Natasha. Natasha loves Toni’s money and J loves Gina’s, and both are marrying for purely financial gains. J thinks life is just beginning to look up , but alas, destiny doesn’t will so. J and Natasha perilously fall for each other at her engagement , and the murderous Toni gets after them, to seek revenge and retribution for his humiliation and cheating. It is quite inconceivable why two poor people so close to their life’s goals would give it all up , but then that is love, which transcends all boundaries of language and borders. The second half of the movie is all about the couple running away from the bungling American cops as well as Toni and his gang of murdering thugs. J and Natasha get separated during the chase, and J spends the final moments of the movie in his quest for his lost love. Much bleeding and running later, their love culminates in the most unbelievable of circumstances, depending on how you interpret it.

The storyline is feeble and the director leans on much of your vivid imagination to appreciate the emotional melodrama. The stunts are quite ambitious, by Bollywood standards, but I think Dhoom 2 was superb too. I did not fall asleep even once, which speaks volumes of the attention grabbing potential of this flick. The movie is entertaining, so I am led to believe by my family, and I am inclined to hold their view as worthy of merit. They loved it in fact, after changing their minds several times much after the movie and pizza. Kangana looks good with her porcelain complexion and perfectly proportioned figure, and two endlessly alluring legs that are the highway to heaven ( quoted for Barbara).

I am impressed that she fails to seduce J even after cutting a very fine and inviting pose on his bed, giving him (and the audience) a well deserved glimpse of her very creamy thighs ( an expression V.. of the local moral brigade finds loathful ).Thereafter Kangana vanishes , leaving the front row ( cattle class ..?) gasping for more. Barbara Mori is quite a mouthful, as the name indicates, and has acquired two expressions in her acting career; a smile while biting her lips, and gaping in wonderment. There was no need for Mori to lip sync her dialogues like Katrina Kaif, since she gets to speak in Spanish only all the time, and we are spared the bother of understanding her, as there are no subtitles for her.

In the end, I wish Hrithik all the best on this one; go enjoy it with your family and friends, it’s pretty cool.