FLYING THE GOOD TIMES!. Review on Kingfisher Airlines

My wife and I recently flew on Kingfisher Airlines from Kolkatta to Mumbai(IT 512 of 21 April 2007) and, boy, was it ever memorable.

To begin with, we learned on arrival at the airport in the morning that the flight was delayed by over 2 hours: it would leave at 12 noon instead of the scheduled 9:15 am.  Since the good times begin only after you board the plane, the airline did not think it fit to intimate us.  Most other airlines, including Indian Airlines and the budget carrier, Air Deccan, intimate their passengers by SMS and phone when the flight is delayed.  But no such courtesy was extended by Kingfisher.

While checking in, I discovered that the airline has taken information security to disfunctional levels.  If booking has been done by a credit card, they insist that the credit card or a copy of it be produced .  Most airlines insist that passengers with e-tickets carry valid identification, but Kingfisher, to my knowledge, is the only airline that insists on a copy of the credit card.  I travel quite a bit and often book e-tickets for my wife to join me when possible.  I wondered what the airline would do if my wife had to board a flight at another centre to join me.  Most likely, they wouldn't allow her to board the plane.

Well, since Mr Mallya appears on your TV screen on every flight and declares that he has directed his staff to treat us "like a guest at my own home", we were offered refreshments at 9:30 am in view of the delay in the flight.  I didn't have to wonder long why they used the word'refreshements' rather than'breakfast'.  We were offered a cold slice of cake and a bonda and tea, spoons and napkins provided on request!  After this sumptuous meal, we were left to our own devices till the boarding time of the flight.

I discovered that boarding is also done with precision in this carrier.  Passengers are to board the plane  in turns, depending on their seat numbers.  First, those in the middle, as per row numbers, then those at each end.  The only problem was that our row(26) was not mentioned in any of the announcements.  A minor oversight, but we might have been left behind if we hadn't decidec to board the plane regardless of their announcements.

Once on the plane, the air hostesses handed out glossy cards, with mouth-watering dishes listed on them, along with a pre-printed apology: "In case we are unable to serve you a meal of your choice, we are sorry".  The pre-printed apology was intriguing but not for long.  While I got my non-vegetarian meal, my wife, a chaste vegetarian, was told that they didn't have enough vegetarian meals.  The airhostess generously offered her a'diabetic meal', phulkas, karelas and a boiled vegatable without salt."  So what if my wife is not a diabetic. I realized that, concerned about her health, the airline was practising preventive medication.

The staff helpfully gave us head phones to listen to music with.  The one given to me broke when I attempted to remove it from the socket in the seat while leaving.  Perhaps, the head phones are desiged to last only for the duration of the flight.

Don't get me wrong.  I am a frequent flyer on two airlines, including Kingfisher.  But I have never experienced such indifference and appalling service in any carrier.

WAY TO GO, MR MALLYA.