Clichéd title for clichéd fare. After all the SRK-bashing fests in here, I thought twice before going to see this one. Ultimately, the Zinta dame caught my interest with her role. Read further.
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The Ph(f)ool – Naina Catherine Kapoor
A beleaguered girl, responsible but staid, unhappy but accepting, trying to be brave in a world that’s too fast for her. She has a couple of cynical, guy-crazy neighbours who happen to be the Laurel-and-Hardy sisters, the elder one being a horny crone who tries her best to seduce anything male, with a stupendous failure rate. Naina is weary – of her boring life, of trying to play mediator between her mother Jennifer and her grandma, of trying to hold together a family. She is aging before age.
The Kaante – Rohit and Aman
Rohit is the next-door jerk who breezes through life and takes Naina for granted. Epitomised in the words “Tum na khoobsoorat ho, na sexy ho aur tumhare paas hameshe mere liye waqt rehta hain”. Of all the nerve!! He is an executive someplace where there are a lot of blonde, pretty, young things – all of who refuse to give him the time of the day. He is Naina’s classmate too, at MBA classes! Who granted him admission?
Aman is the new loud-mouth who comes to live with his uncle in the house across from Naina. The day he comes in, he stuffs both his feet into his wide-open mouth by calling Naina’s grandma and her coterie a ‘shrieking chorus’ (or something to that effect). He wants to know and even does come to know, everyone’s business. Very hyper!! Made my feet ache with all his energy.
The Peripheral Cast – Jennifer, Dadiji and gang, Gia
Jennifer – a lady who had the gumption to adopt her philandering husband’s illegitimate offspring and bring her up along with her own two kids. She has been trying for so long to hold on to her independence by slogging her days out at her restaurant in which the above-mentioned Laurel sister is a partner. She also has to bear Dadiji’s taunts about her being the reason that Dadiji’s son is dead, ends up an equal partner in frequent screaming matches.
Dadiji – a lady who’s come over to live with her son and daughter-in-law only to have her son die on her. She blames the wife, who is anyway from a different religion and so is not worthy of her love. She dotes on the boy, hates the girl Gia and tolerates Naina coz she supports the famiy – a shrew actually. She also loves to rouse the neighbourhood in the mornings with her gang who belt out suggestive melodies (read screeches).
Gia – a sweet, winsome little girl who has a make-believe family in her doll-house which unsurprisingly does not include the irate Dadi who has no love for her. Everyday she gets to hear vitriol spouting from the old lady’s lips as she rants and raves about the child being another reason her son’s no longer alive. She loves her family, including Dadi and all she really wants is for Dadi to throw her a teensy crumb of affection sometime.
The Movie
Naina’s sad, Rohit is glad, Aman is mad and we’ve all been positively had.
Aman badgers, pummels and bullies Rohit into lighting a damp torch of love for the spectacled, staid Naina. After numerous tries, Rohit does cotton on to the plan but Naina is still stuck in her ‘family ka jhamela’. (I don’t understand why Aman feels this compulsive need to make everyone happy – was he trying for Santa of South-East Asia when he dies?)
What I liked
Locales - beautiful visuals of New York (geography wasn’t this film’s forte and neither has anyone in this team heard of story placements)
Songs and Picturisation - except for the vastly tacky ‘Pretty Woman’ (Oh God, Roy Orbison is spinning somewhere!) the rest of the songs are okay-ish. My favourites are ‘Kucch to hua hain’ for its breezy portrayal and ‘Mahive’ for the tons of glorious fabrics in it!! (Really gorgeous fabrics!!) A close contender is ‘It’s the time to Disco’ which does take you back to the psychedelic disco of the past. Nice, very nice.
Preity Zinta - for a fabulous performance as a real-life, no-nonsense girl. There are no word that’ll do justice to this performance. Kudos!
Saif Ali Khan, Sulabha Arya, the kid who plays Gia - Saif for his very, very impressive performance as class-one-jerk-turned-patient-love act. Really, really good. Sulabha Arya as the homophobic maidservant is actually wasted in this role that does not do justice to either her calibre or her repertoire of work. But she does make everyone roll in the aisles with her eye-popping, hand-shivering, quaking routine – me included. The child who plays Gia – actually we have all seen her in some ads on telly, but she did what she was meant to – played the deprived, angelic child to the tee. Kids are really good!
What I disliked
Karan Johar and Nikhil Advani - Karan for making this trash in the first place and Nikhil Advani for actually trying to make this into a movie.
Shah Rukh Khan - for the most insipid performance that I have ever seen on his resume. Even K3G was better than this and that’s saying a lot. Till now I thought the guy was not all that irredeemable, but this just takes the whole bakery. He does not have anything to do in this movie except let us know he’s got a fault in his heart (or somewhere else, for that matter), cry in private, cry in public, irritate Naina, badger Rohit and generally be a nuisance to everyone within a 50-mile radius. Substitute SRK with I S Johar and you’d probably have a better movie, at least that guy would make you laugh at his facial contortions. Frankly, I’m getting a lil, teensy-weensy bit tired of watching the same tears over and over in every Karan Johar-SRK movie.
The ambiguity - you either love one guy or you love the other, there’s no oscillating between the two. But this – first Aman, then Rohit, then Aman again when he’s about to leave on the Angel Airline, then Rohit after Aman does leave – kind of gave me the creeps. I’d be a basket case by the time I finally got married! But then that’s me and there’s no Karan Johar in my life (OH THANK YOU, GOD!!!) Even Rohit seems to be lost – he wants Naina to be happy and so lets her go to Aman, who then convinces him not to let go. So he woos her back…ad nauseum (gag, gag).
Conclusion
Its been declared one of the biggest hits of 2003. A hit tag does not guarantee a good movie. If you are watching the movie coz you are a SRK fan, then ok you might like it. If you are looking for some good acting, then you might find it in Zinta, Saif, the kids and the other ladies. If you are looking for Karan Johar, catch the verbal and visual pot-shots at homos in the movie. If you are looking for songs, better buy a CD/audio tape of the thing.
If you are looking for some entertainment which actually does not insult your intelligence, then I suggest you take up Tai-Chi. I hear its good for both mental and physical health.
An afterthought added to the comments section.
