''Hrishida, I hate tears ...''
There's one similarity between rumour and plague. Both take lesser time to spread than the time taken by the Indian tail to get out. No sooner than Karan Johar decide to make a film which contradicts the title 'Tomorrow Never Dies' with his beloved Shah Rukh, added with a dash of his homosexual feelings for Shah Rukh, did the entire country come to know that Kal Ho Na Ho is not original (we do not expect that from Karan, do we?), it has shades of Safar and the all-time classic, Anand.
Which is why one of the best directors of all-time, Hrishikesh Mukherjee was grieved. His classic was going to be remade by Karan Johar! The poor chap couldn't bear the shock and burst into uncontrollable tears. Rajesh Khanna, who came to his place then to visit him, saw him crying and tried to console him.
''Hrishida, I hate tears ... ''
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The date wasn't 26th January, but I wanted to have some fun, which is why I decided to watch Kal Ho Na Ho in Fun Republic cinema. I came out of the show at 2 am (yeah, you read that right!) with mixed emotions. Perhaps, Saif Ali Khan's confused nature rubbed off on me ...
It has shades of Safar, shades of Anand, yet Kal Ho Na Ho is Maggi Hot & Sweet Sauce ... er ... I mean, it's different. The story revolves around Naina Kapur (Priety Zinta), Aman Mathur (Shah Rukh Khan) and Rohit Patel (Saif Ali Khan) and a horde of extras who shout more than a spectator does in an India-Pakistan match. Naina's shoulders are burdened by problems aplenty and her life is unhappy, brooding and boring until Aman comes along, bobbing up and down. Rohit is also an integral part of her life as the friend who silently loves her ...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Since my blood group is B +, let me begin with the positives first.
The introduction of characters is done in an interesting refreshing manner. After a long time, we have a movie from the Johar-Barjatya clan, where none of the actors have made dramatic entries, alighting from helicopters (SRK in K3G) / twitching their lips in front of a pyre (SRK in K2H2) / dancing as if they are trying to force an earthquake to take place (Kajol in K3G) / modelling for Playboy and shaking the posterior (Kareena in K3G, though we don't mind an encore of that scene) / smashing Karan Johar ... er ... I mean smashing a sixer in the stands (Hrithik Roshan in K3G). The entries are stylish, yet, not in-your-face.
The cinematography of the movie is brilliant. Watch out for SRK's opening scene and the scene where the Kapur family is praying. Simply breath-taking visuals!
The director has merged the three basic tracks with expertise - Shah Rukh's illness, the love triangle and the family rift. The reason behind the loath spitting out of the family confrontations is not disclosed until after the interval, and keeps you guessing.
The editing is extremely slick, however, it seems that the editor was snoozing in the second half as the movie drags like SRK drags his dialogues, ''Heyheyheyhey, K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-Kal Ho Na Ho haan ...''
The music of the movie may not be out of the ordinary, but it is quite pleasant. The title track is a gem, Kuch To Hua Hai is pleasantly sung and Mahi Ve and It's The Time To Disco are peppy. The downers are Priety Woman ...er ... Pretty Woman and the sad version of the title track, which are a wee too loud, and totally unnecessary in the flow of the film.
The dialogues stand out. Saif has got most of the punchlines, when it comes to hilarity, while Shah Rukh has got the dialogues, when it comes to substance. Kudos!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
But then, do you expect a Karan Johar produced flick without negatives?
I have visited the Wankhede Stadium twice, once to watch a Test Match against Australia, and the second time, a one-dayer against the English. On both occassions, the decibel levels were the most I had ever heard. Until Sushma Seth and her cult came along.
Irritating seems like a pleasing word, and I may soon start tolerating Ekta Kapoor's sabuns ... er ... soaps. Sushma Seth, Shoma Anand, Ketaki Dave and Co. are guilty of third degree torture, as they imagine themselves to be the Lata Mangeshkars and Asha Bhosles of tomorrow, but then since kal ho na ho, they begin to wail today! It is needless to say that Johnny Lever sung better in Chalte Chalte ...
While the direction is fabulous during the interactions of the three lead artistes, there was no need for Nikhil Advani to have such a mela out here. I lost count of the number of buffoons I tolerated, and now I know why Agra doesn't have the largest mental asylum any more ...
The film drags in the end. In an uncomfortable seat at Fun Republic (I have never liked this theatre), you get the feeling that you are suffering from the same problem that Shah Rukh Khan is in real life. No, I am not talking about his s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-speech defect, I am talking about the titanium disc he has in his back. I believe that if 90% of the scenes of the extras, who were more irritating than Extraaaaaa Innings will be deleted, Kal Ho Na Ho would be a wonderful flick ...
As usual, Karan Johar cannot help getting 'inspired'. While K3G was a mish-mash of DDLJ, K2H2 and Mohabbatein, this one is like a World XI, where inspirations from every nook and corner have come together. The film begins with Priety Zinta saying ''Yeh New York Hai, duniya ka sabse bada shaher.'' Compare that with Amrish Puri booming, ''Yeh London hai, duniya ka sabse bada shaher.'' Now, I am even more confused than Saif, as to which is bigger - London or New York! The playbacks of Maar Dala and Chale Chalo were downright cheap, to say the least.
Moreover, did the director realise that due to the loudness of the supporting cast, his movie had become not-so-special, that he needed a plethora of special appearances? Uday Chopra, announcing the extra day of a Test Match - Day 6, Sonali Bendre, a belle who has stolen each and every heart with her great looks, and now treats hearts. Sanjay Kapoor, who proves for the zillionth time that usko acting 'aati nahin'! Kajol and Rani Mukerji, in the same costumes as K3G, and Rani even performing the Shava Shava step. Moreover, there were fleeting appearances by Farah Khan and Karan Johar, herself ... er ... himself, as customers of Jaya Bachchan's hotel. Unfortunately, there was no Kareena Kapoor, devoid of her clothes ...
---------------------------------------------------
So, in a movie with a highly inconsistent direction and a loud crowd which threatens India's population, the last hope would be the performances.
CONTD. IN COMMENTS SECTION ...
