''I think the American people — I hope the American — I don't think, let me — I hope the American people trust me.''
— George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002
2 years ago (doesn’t matter how many years, its as far as I can remember), a ‘new’ thriller started on Star Plus…Kahin Kissi Roz (Somewhere Sometime). The promos looked promising, and I absolutely liked the female lead in it. Forgive me I am bad at remembering TV stars…so where I don’t remember, I shall use mathematical conventions. So within the first few parts of the serials, following relations were established.
Serial - Horror Thriller.
Mom – Son 1 – Wife 1 (dead) - Extra 1 – Extra 2
Mom – Son 2 – Wife 2
Mom – Daughter 1 – Daughter 2 (Un-married)
Mom – Large Empire of something
Son 1 – Next in line to take over – Extra 1 (love) – Extra 2 (un-relinquished love)
Son 2 – Obedient dog to Brother (Son 1)
Wife 1 – dead.
Bhoot – Wife 3(comes in later)
Wife 2 – Wants the empire.
So far so good. Now, Son 1 falls in love with Extra 1 who god knows what she did for living. Mom does not approve of the relationship. Who cares though, Extra 1 becomes Wife 3. Now the fun starts. Son 1 starts seeing and hearing ghosts. Around 20 episodes of ghost who sings ‘babuji dhire chalna’ and does all kinds of tricks in the book to spook the family, tries in vain to scare everyone. Expectedly, except Wife 2 and audience everyone of them are spooked. Still, the serial is promising. Who is the Bhoot, who is this Wife 3, Why is the Bhoot wanting to harass Son 1 ? The serial held some important questions.
Around six months mark, the Bhoot gave up and disclosed itself to the viewers. Thank god it did…turns out its Wife 3 who is pretending to be Bhoot and wants to kill Son 1. Whoa! Twist in the tale. Son 1 in flash back seems to have killed Wife 1. However Wife 1 survives the holocaust and becomes Wife 3 and Bhoot. So Bhoot who is now Wife 3 want Son 1 out of the world. Some episodes later it is clear that it is actually Mom who has killed Wife 1 and not Son 1. Son 1 is an honest, caring person actually and misses his Wife 1. Also, in the mean time, Daughter 1 and Daughter 2 get married to Idiot 1 and Idiot 2. Predictably Daughter 1 marries Idiot 2 and Idiot 1 marries Daughter 2 and complicate matters for us. All this took a year to set up. After a year, I re arranged my relations and thought –
Serial – Horror (?)- Thriller – Family
Mom – Son1 – Wife 3
Mom – Murderer of Wife 1
Mom – Son2 – Wife 2 (still plotting and complaining)
Daughter 1- Idiot 2 – Daughter 2 – Idiot 1 - Family melodrama
Bhoot – Dead. No longer needed.
Extra 2 – No, she was just an extra who didn’t really matter.
Somehow in between traveling and studies, I missed a couple of episodes (lots, I didn’t care). However, one fine day, I tuned into it again. Of course I needed help from my family to figure out what was going on.
Turns out, Son 1 has humshakal (double). Lets now name Son 1 as Son 1A and the double as Son 1B. Son 1 has come to know that Mom killed Wife 1 and now wants to kill Son 1 too. Also Wife 3 has now sobered and supports Son 1. Wife 2 is still conspiring. Something went wrong with Idiot 1 and Idiot 2 and Daughter 1 and Daughter 2. More melodrama. Mom tries to kill Son 1, but he escapes, however…VOILA….with Dimaag ki chot (a shot on brain), which has left him memory-less! Another Twist in the tale. Now, Mom gets Son 1B on her side and tries to get Wife 3 out of the way. Son 1B is a simpleton and gets used by everyone.. Son 1A becomes a goon, kills people, and refreshes his memory and sees his wife with Son 1B (which is himself in double). Son 1A declares war of who is the real Son 1 with Mom, Wife 3 and Son 1B. Son 1A and Son 1B try all sorts of things on each other. Son 2 meanwhile is confused as to what he is doing in the whole enterprise. So again, my relations changed to –
Serial – Horror (?) – Thriller (??)- Family (???) – Case of mistaken identity.
Mom – Son 1A – Son 1B - Wife 3 (who was Wife 1 and Bhoot and now also confused between Son 1A and Son 1B).
Son 2 – Wife 2 – still wondering what they are doing in the serial.
Daughter 1, Daughter 2, Idiot 1, Idiot 2 – Family melodrama
Bhoot – ????
I again missed a couple of serials. By the time I had come back to life and surroundings, I again had to take hold of my family to explain the proceedings. My aunt thus went on –
Turns out, Wife 3 has a fishy background. Wife 3 had a Lover 1 (AHAAA!) who is Relative 1 to Mom (what a combination!). Wait, there is another twist. Its not sure if Wife 3 is Wife 3 or is she Extra 1. Also, Wife 3 may now have Wife 3A and Wife 3B (double again?). Now Mom is trying to get Wife 3 (A or B) out of the way and Wife 2 is still un-decided. Also Son 1A claims his place to become Son 1 and now doubts if Son 1B had an affair with Wife 3. My aunt said that beyond it, they stopped watching as they said that their brains couldn’t decipher the mega-complex nature of the serial.
I said I will try to explain everything to them. I redrew all the relations above and using all the links provided by watching the serial and help extended by my aunt, I explained everything to them. I beamed!
My aunt then said – beta, you forgot Wife 3 who also has had Lover 2. How did u forget Lover 2? And you also forgot Granny too!!! I have better memory than you.
I made the relations again.
Granny – Mom.
Mom – Son 1A – Son 1B – Wife 1 (dead)- Extra1 – Bhoot – Wife 3 - Wife 3(A or B) – Lover 2 – Lover 1.
Mom – Son 2 – Wife 2 – bunch of jokers in the serial.
Mom – Daughters and company – Spectators to the melodrama.
Serial – Horror (?) – Thriller (??) – Family (???) – Comedy (likely) – BullSh*t (Bingo!).
Give me a breather.
''I love the idea of a school in which people come to get educated and stay in the state in which they're educated.''
—George W. Bush, Milwaukee, Wis., Aug. 14, 2002
