Just a while ago, I when I went in a hospital washroom, I found a paper, partly wet. I usually don?t pick up trash lying around in washrooms, if this didn?t have: Property of Karan Johar on it. I just peered at it. Now mind you this was the Females Washroom, but I wasn?t much surprised. So anyways, I peered at the paper, and it looked like a checklist. To my shock, it was a 3 year old checklist of that ultra-horrible movie, K3G.
Somethings were scribbled on it, like make sure Amitabh Bchchan?s character form Mohabbatein doesn?t get tampered with. Make sure Jaya Aunty?s cries in every scene throughout the whole movie. Anyways, this checklist reminded me of that unlucky day when I decided to go watch Khabi Khushi Kabhi Gham.
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2001 was a great year for Hindi Cinema, except for the few bad apples. We had some cult classics like Lagaan & Dil Chata Hai. However, we also had the worst, most rotten apple of them all- Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham.
WHAT ON EARTH WAS THIS MOVIE ABOUT?
Basically, form what I gather, Jaya & Amitabh Bachchan(the Raichands) have the perfect family with their elder son, Rahul(who is adopted) played by Shah Rukh, and their real son Rohan played by Hrithik Roshan. Rahul falls in love with a girl from Chandni Chowk, the LAP(loud as possible) Kajol- Anjali. Mr. Raichand doesn?t like LAP, and we hear SRK repeating his same dialogues from Mohabbatein about how falling in love was his only mistake. Meanwhile, Rohan is starting to make friends with LAP?s younger sister, Pooja a.k.a. Poo who late get entangled in a romantic tangle consisting of Rohan, Poo, and the tounge-twister.
So, moving on to the main story(if there is one), Amitabh Bachchan, thinking he was on the shoots of Mohabbatein, reacts to Shah Rukh?s lecture by giving one of his own on Parampara, Anushashan, Bhashan Bhashan etc.(Tradition, discipline etc). SRK decides to not marry LAP but ends up doing so because LAP?s irritating father dies. Amitabh removes SRK form the house.
Cut to 10 years- SRK and LAP, and Poo are in London, and somehow he managed to own a huge house(contacts maybe?). SRK and LAP now have an son too. Oh btw, did I mention that they look exactly the same after 10 years(SRK and LAP that is)- Poo changed into Kareena(the college beauty)
Rohan has comeback to his home after going to his hostel and he learns all about this whole elder bro. story from his grandmothers. He makes a wow to bring Rahul & LAP back. He goes to London on the pretext of doing his MBA(he does anything but that)
Everything his humpty dory after 1 big lecture between the whole family.
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WHAT DID I SEE IN THIS MOVIE?
Why oh why doesn?t Karan Johar have any freshness? He uses the exact same role of Amitabh Bachchan?s in Mohabbatein except now he?s draped in chunnis and designer suits. He later did this with Saif Ali Khan in KHNH. He repeats SRK?s role and name from a couple of movies. He uses the theme of K2H2?s title song and sticks in Suraj HUa Madham, and one scene between Rani and SRK.
Why isn?t Kareena doing anything in her college except show attitude, dance, and sing with Hrithik Roshan. If only colleges were really like this! Actually, after seeing this movie, some people might get mixed up with the definition of college.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY EXTRAS????!!!! Every single scene in this movie has an extra. For sometime, you can even imagine Kareena as an extra! Johnny Lever, Simone Singh, Himani Shivpuri, that English Neighbour etc.
Better get Rahul?s and Anjali?s secret skin formula ?cause they look exactly the same 10 years later.
We are not deaf. Why did the theme tune of the movie keep on getting repeated over and over again till our ear drums break of noise pollution.
Why did Kajol have to be so loud???!!! She LITERALLY hurt my eardrums! Her character was so annoying,
Why were the characters so poorly sketched? They all seem like some hackneyed comic strip?s alien characters!
Why did they cry at the drop of that hat??? After seeing this movie, I knew Karan Johar had this thing to activate tear ducks, because I din?t see any news article after this movie was shot, that the nation ran out of glycerine.
I would not even like to remember that school function.
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CAST AND DIRECTOR
Amitabh Bachchan: One thing that keeps on getting me is that why did Amitabh Bachchan sign this movie in the first place. All he had to do was keep the face a teacher realizes that most students in his class have failed. Yet, you cannot dislike him.
Jaya Bachchan: Is this the same actrees who played chracters like Milli and Guddi? Karan Johar did it again! She probably broke the world record for using the most glycerine. Other than that, nothing else.
Shah Rukh Khan: He acted pretty much O.K. considering he didin?t have to do much other that cry, have the expression of love at first-sight. In the second half, he was good(only in joke cracking scenes)- that is pre-climax, and cut out the crying scenes.
LAP a.k.a. Kajol: Her nickname proves that all she had to do is be ALAP and scream at the top of her lungs, ?Mera Bharat, Mera Bharat!? (My India)
Hrithik Roshan: Cry, cry, cry, do some hot numbers with Kareena. Crack jokes with SRK. That?s it. Oh Ya- ?Chandu ke chacha ne chandu ki chachi ko chandni raat per chandni Chowk mein Chandi ki chamach se chatni chatai.?
Kareena Kapoor : Cry, cry, cry. Do some hot numbers with Hrithik Look Good. Make fun of SRK in front of Hrithik. Oh Ya- ?Chandu ke chacha ne chandu ki chachi ko chandni raat per chandni Chowk mein Chandi ki chamach se chatni chatai.?
Rani Mukherjee: I?m surprised that Filmfare didn?t give her the best supporting actress award(I mean if they can give Salman best supporting actor for K2H2). She looked pretty and was decent. Then she disappeared.
KARAN JOHAR: He is the worst director of Hindi Movies. He doesn?t do anything! He copies Sooraj Barjatya & Aditya Chopra. That?s it. I cannot believe that guy. He actually thinks he?s creative!
I just saw a repeat of his Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai episode, and they were making a big fuss of him not marrying yet. I think that guy(?) really respects Bush a lot and is waiting for his consent(to you know what).
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WORST PART OF THE MOVIE: Some people actually like it and some critics actually gave it rave reviews. Period.
P.S. Karan is making a thriller now right? Mybe...Kabhi Kuch Khatra Ho
