KAAL
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Does it mean time? Death? Is it about Death time or timely death?
Cast:
Ajay Devgan
Driver 1, 2, 3....
Esha Deol
John Abraham
Lara Datta
Monkey 1, Monkey 2
Owl
Snake
Tiger 1, Tiger 2, Tiger 3
Vivek Oberoi
THE FULL STORY
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Kaal kaal mein hum tum kare dhamaal...
''Breathtaking'' sets...''imaginative'' choreography...''energetic'' performances...
but why the hell are they in an adventure/thriller/horror movie...
sorry, you are not supposed to ask those questions!
The night is dark...The place is Orbit Park...
The owl rotates its head and gazes at the camera...
The bat hangs upside down from a tree...
The monkey shows its long white teeth, as if for a toothpaste ad...
The snake opens its mouth a full 90 degrees(not sure whether it is yawning or trying to scream)...
Two foreign researchers get down from a jeep and walk towards a sleeping tiger...
(As you know, foreign people are dumb and Indian tigers are intelligent)
They start walking towards the tiger, with camera in their hand, hoping
that the tiger will not wake up(How could they take such a risk, that too with Indian tigers?)
The tiger gets up, chases them, jumps on their jeep, roars...
BLANK SCREEN...
(Please assume that the foreigners are dead)
Somewhere very far from the Orbit Park, John Abraham is on a vacation in
a national park...
he is running fast(you guessed it right, without the shirt)...a snake is crawling...
he runs...it crawls...
he runs...it crawls...
finally, he jumps over the 15 ft. snake and catches it...
Then, a pair of strong legs, almost boxer-like come on the screen...they walk towards John...the camera slowly moves up...again you guessed it right, its Esha
Deol...by the way, she is a professional photographer...
John gets a call on his mobile...he attends the call, tying the snake
around his neck and closing its mouth in one hand...his employer tells
him he has to go to Orbit Park on a research
The scene shifts to a highway where an imported car is speeding at more than 200 kmph...
We are shown the car from all angles...the automatic features in the cat et al...
Did we start getting ads in films? Have I fallen asleep and started dreaming?
No...they are a group of friends who are on their way to spend some time
in some farm house...
Vivek Oberoi, a very confident, easygoing, cool dude...
Lara Datta, a very superstitious, darrpok, young woman (She tries really
hard to convince us so) One muscle man keeping a gun and who is fond of shikaar...
(They try to make us feel suspicious about him...so you can easily say
he is not the killer) Another waste fellow who keeps recording everything in handy cam...
On their way, Lara starts seeing the bad omens (Black vehicle, tyre wobbling, black cat)
Their vehicle breaks down.(A vehicle breaks down every 20 mins)
One crazily-behaving guy gives them a lift (The same rule applies here.
Since this guy is also made to look suspicious, he is also not the killer)
Their adventurous journey begins...
Their new vehicle hits John Abraham's vehicle, which also has broke down
(Vehicle breakdown is the second frequent thing that happens in the
film, the first being Lara's nervous breakdown) They decide to give lift
to John and Esha...they go to a guest house...there is a
weirdly-behaving guide who promises to show them the tigers next
day. (This guy also keeps smiling wickedly, so he also cannot be the
killer)...and our Vivek Oberoi is a very short tempered guy, who always
keeps telling ''Maar daaloonga tujhe'' whenever he gets angry(Vivek is
made to look suspicious, so even he is not the killer)
The same night, ''something'' drags the guide of his tent, and he is found
dead after 2 days (Looks like tiger killed him, but remember the rule,
it wont be what they want us to believe)
There is also a forest officer, who is suffering from acute cold, who
always turns his nose like Kris Shrikanth used to do. He also looks and
acts very wicked(Yes, I know by this time you would remember the rule,
he cannot be...)
All the adventurous people(excluding the muscle man) go on a
safari...they come near the ''core area''
The driver warns them about tigers and not to walk on the roads...
but our supremely confident Vivek Oberoi jumps out of the car and gives
a ''you saw how brave I am'' smile and starts walking on the road...even
John jumps out...
...it was then they hear the sound...and suddenly out of nowhere a tiger
starts running towards them...Vivek is still very confident...and he
slowly starts moving back...
the girls in the jeep are not at all afraid(poor girls, they did not
know that there was a camera facing them) As Vivek starts going back, he
falls down...two more tigers surround their van...
they are trapped...there is no escape...
...it was then they hear another sound...
''Thrayammbakkam rajaamayye sugandim pushhti vardhanam Urvarooookameeeva
bandhana mruthyo muksheeya maamruthaath''
Clad in an ''all black'' outfit comes Ajay Devgan...with brooding
eyes...bored look(even we were bored by that time) and a stick...he is
Kali...Kali Pratap Singh...
In his customary style, he tells the cool dialogues...he asks them not
to BREAK the rules...
Rule 1 : You should not walk in jungle
Rule 2 : You should not carry guns
Ajay keeps talking about so many things about jungle...no one listens to
him(I swear, even I did not)
Vivek's friend, the muscle man goes alone to the jungle to do some
shikaar(Even though he knows that many people have died in the last few
months)...his friends get afraid and start searching him in the
jungle...and they find his headless body(headless,
literally)
Then, all the people decide to leave the jungle and go back...on the
way, they find that the road is blocked because of the land slide. Then,
suddenly Ajay Devgan arrives there and tells them that he will take them
through a short-cut root, which is very dangerous.
On the way, Ajay keeps telling about horrific stories, which nobody
believes. The other waste fellow(Vivek's friend) also dies on the way.
So, he also cannot be the killer (assuming that he did not commit suicude)
Now, we are left with Ajay, Vivek, Lara, John, Esha...even after seeing so many deaths they keep wandering alone in the jungle, get scared by ''bura sapna'', and finally arrive at an old bungalow(The same type, where you can find lot of cobwebs, broken old furniture, and most importantly
a candle) Here, Ajay warns them not to go towards the well. But, Esha feels very thirsty in the middle of the night. She, as any other stupid hindi film heroine goes alone and get killed.
After sometime, every one realize that Esha is missing. They arrive at
the well and find her dead. Ajay keeps telling his usual ''Maine bola tha saahab''
dialogues...
Thats when Vivek looks in the well...only to realise that Ajay's image
is not visible in water...Ajay is the BHOOT...our Vivek, for the first
time in his life, uses his brains, sends Ajay to bring some wood for
Esha's funeral...and runs away with John and Lara...
Ajay after coming back, realises that they have escaped...he starts telling his story to us...
he was killed by villagers for some unknown reasons...he was thrown to tigers...
Finally, the three ''bacha hua log'' join the main road...and they survive...
MORALS OF THE STORY
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1) Dont take panga with bhoots...they dont have any logic for killing.
2) If you are stuck up with a bhoot, join the main road as soon as possible.
3) A person who looks wicked and crooked is generally harmless.
4) A superstitious girlfriend is better than an adventurous one
