Stylized Fibbing. Review on Jeena Isika Naam Hai

Since its Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hein season on MS, I am adding my two cents as well. I am not anymore regular with this show but have tolerated several episodes earlier which automatically qualify me to crib about here.

Now, this serial is supposedly made with the noblest intention of exposing the lesser-known side of some public figures to us. But what we end up finding about them is a different story all together. As my other MS friends have ripped it apart in-depth, I shall skip programme schedule, style, presentation, music etc. I am just being nostalgic here with some of my own recollections.

As destiny would have it, the firstever episode was on Shahrukh! And truly it made my day, night, week, season, month, quarter, eon, light year.. errr.. sorry, SRK gets me a little carried away. Coming back from that light year, I was in Delhi then and that particular evening had pleasant company of dear friends Mr. Joshi & family who claim to know SRK from even before his NSD days. (The Joshis are also supposed to be very paly paly with Jackie Shroff, Juhi aunty and some other prominent stars)

As reels unwound singing SRK’s peans and he going misty-eyed about his background etc., Joshi-ji quipped “Iski toh.. kitna phenkta hein! Arre main boloon RJ, bus dikhave ke liye they had some real estate business otherwise he was just a kerosene seller in Rohini!” - That was a revelation to me! Thank God for Mr.Joshi else I had begun suffering an inferiority complex for being such a non-entity in this world.

On screen were SRK’s buddies who kept flattering him for no reason or rhyme, followed by his own homage to his mother. A livid Mrs. Joshi couldn’t resist “Poora din in badmashon ke saat lukhagiri karta ta troubling his bechari mom and now he is acting as if Shravan Kumar” After several such insider info and juicy tit-bits (whose authenticity I don’t really care to check upon), I was glad I was simply RJ and not SRK.. I don’t know whether my kindergarten buddies even have any faint idea about me. And apart from a certain Mr. Zulfikar Syed who is on the verge of becoming almost extinct.. err.. I mean famous, I don’t actually recall anyone of them either.

Next week was Ms. Beautiful Rai. Aishwarya giggling her silly head off every other minute (and more rigorously so at her childhood pictures) was her pristine usual Ms. Goody-self as always. The classic Aish-feigning-act was being enacted in full swing repeatedly, as Farooque was introducing guests after guests. But what caught my special attention of the lot was a certain Lata Akka! This lady I believe is Ash’s dance teacher at age 10 and how nice that after all these years Ash can still remember her by her voice alone.. I raked through the dusty lanes of my memory to remember my dance teacher’s name or voice, who used to teach me at a more impressionable age. But alas, let alone the name I couldn’t even remember her face. Dance teacher toh dance teacher, I cannot even recall my fifth grade class teacher’s name.. Help!

From then onwards, I religiously sat through episode and episodes of JIKNH, which according to me was less of a chat show but more a mockery by now.

I watched Raveena reminiscing her infatuation over Chimpu Kapoor (how sweet no?), I appreciated her strong resolve in transfiguring from an obese teenager to a sexy diva (way to go girl, you can be VLCC’s ambassador) and I choked at the exhibition of two orphan girls she has adopted which of course is a point to be kept beyond publicity.. while here is a poor me daily feeding stray dogs with all the leftovers and not even a Maneka Gandhi takes notice?

Another of my favourite is Shetty Babe. I loved Shilpa’s smiles, giggles, guffaws, titters, chuckles, chortles, sniggers, laughs.. I have run out of thesaurus.. at everything in life.. How I wish I could cackle like a hyena even when I talk about my heartbreaks and emotional hang-ups. And hey Shilpa, I realized that you really are very kind and good-hearted to be still friends with Akki boy who brutally broke up with you.. though your interviews elsewhere sound so catty and different.

One Shetty reminds another. Sunil Shetty’s heartwarming saga of developing muscles and entire struggle to make a footing in the Film industry was an inspiration to me.. on how to philander away Dad’s booty. I was equally mesmerized by his crocodile tears as his Manna beloved went on VCD screen “Sunil, tumhe yaad hein.. shaadi se pehle we used to eat here, drink there and sh*t elsewhere. Yeh wohi jagah hein jahan tune mujhe pehli seeti maari.. blah blah.”.. God, why didn’t you give me a business tycoon for dad and a Munna darling for husband?

And our dashing hero Akshay Kumar is no less, mind you. Akki boy couldn’t stop blushing especially when his friends’ boasted on how they all proudly carried out their “Basugiri” or “Vasugiri” or whatevergiri in front of some ladies college.. Indeed a great achievement Akki! I strongly recommend you for a Stree Ratna Award!

I am also totally in awe of Tusshar Kapoor. I don’t know how he manages everyone referring him as a big “Star” despite not having a single decent hit. I could submit a PhD thesis on the basis of information I obtained about the pillow fighting of Kapoor siblings from a certain har.. err.. starlet Neelam going “Tushky.. Tushky” with her mouth so wide open as if to have a root canal surgery done.

I have enjoyed Laloo’s playful bantering with wife CM Rabri.. while also keeping count on the number of his offspring on the sets.

I was enthralled by a glimpse of Vyjayanti Mala’s son Suchindra Bali.. who makes Tusshar look like a Greek God in comparison.

I have cried for Sanjay Dutt along with his whole family, siblings and fellow inmates on how can Government be so cruel to enforce TADA.. he was only carrying AK 47s and not a goddamned Bofors cannon!

Did you know Alka Yagnik was offered lead roles in movies several times and that she rejected them all.. after all, they only asked her to play heroine to Daffy Duck and not Bugs Bunny no?

Talking about Vivek Oberoi and Farha Khan episodes is beyond my capacity.. my mind just went dancing break, disco, twist, turn and numb all at the same time.

And see I didn’t even mention anything on the episodes featuring Rani Mukherjee, Diya Mirza, Karan Johar.. last heard they are playing triplet sisters in a movie named “Kuch kuch kabhi kabhie”

As you know now, my knowledge base has increased tremendously and I can keep rambling on and on. But I notice that it is time again for another episode of JIKNH. It has been ages since I watched the embroidery designs on Farooque’s Sherwanis or the angle of juxtaposition of Red coloured sofa to blue coloured ones in the audience section or whether they are roundish seats ya phir squarish or counting the no. of times the featured celebrity is “Surprised” during the show or the no. of times Farooque will say to his guest “aap baitenge ya khade rahenge” or “mooh meetha karayenge” or… oh, let it be.