Marriage marriage everywhere???. Review on Indianmarriages

Confession : This review is not on the site per se but surely related to its name!!

How would you react if I were to tell you that last weekend saw 10,000 marriages in Mumbai alone?

When I read it somewhere, the first thing that hit me right away was the POPULATION boom. But we cannot do away with it in anycase. Infact the strong and moral IIM (Indian institution of marriage) is actually acting as a speed breaker to the boom.

The second thing was the amount of money being spent. Apparently 40 Lac rupees is the average cost for a marriage in Mumbai. FORTY LAC!! Enough to buy a good 2BHK or even 3BHK in Greater Mumbai. Enough to give a good professional education to a growing kid!! Enough to feed 1 lac hungry stomach.

So what do I really feel about Indian Marriage?

As an Indian bride

I get transported back to the day I got married. A typical South Indian marriage lasts for 3 days… well 2 evenings and 2 afternoons to be precise. I think the same goes for North Indian marriages as well. A month or two before the marriage, we had a hearty shopping. The shopaholic that I am, I enjoyed it to the core. An Iyer bride has to change 7 sarees in 2 days :). So, ended up buying as many heavy silk sarees plus a lot of casual ones for all the “first” functions that is supposed to follow in the succeeding year – first diwali, first kaarthikai, first pongal, first adi pandigai… etc.

That done, it was time for the jewellery. Many(??) may hate them but then -diamonds are girls best friends. So, there we were- buying whatever our budget allowed.

Marriage hall was booked long back. Infact the marriage date got fixed only after assessing the availability of the hall (kya zamana aa gaya hai)! Since, it was in Chennai and I being in Delhi, I had no say in that and was not much bothered, actually.

Next the cards for printing. Looked around at umpteen samples before settling for a good one.

Catering.. was not my arena THEN. So, agreed for whatever the parents decided.

Finally the D-Day!!! As a bride, I certainly did not mind being the center of attraction. People fussing over me. The videos and the cameras zooming in on me … although it did add on to the heat of the moment ;) The cousins and the relatives pulling my leg and I secretly enjoying it...

But now when I think of it, I am wondering whether the sarees was worth it. I have hardly worn them after that day. Jewelleries sleep peacefully in the bank lockers cos I prefer the junk varieties!! Cards must have been recycled by all. Hall owner must have earned his bread for doing NOTHING!! Video, snaps and the memories are the ones that lasted and are cherished.

But come to think of it, this day comes once in a lifetime. Isnt it worth celebrating? After all we only live once.

As an Indian Groom

Am I really bothered as long as I get to take home my bride ? Infact, why so much ado about nothing? I hate being the centre of attraction and gettling my leg pulled. Why such heavy dresses? Cant I simply come riding a horse like Prithviraj Chauhan, take away my Samyukta and go straight for my HM ? And the relatives? I want to hide somewhere right now!!!

As the Indian cousin/relative

There are 3 types of them.

1) Nice Ones who come with the idea of joining in the celebration and enjoying.

2) Nose-pokey ones who poke their nose in others bcness and who get the joy by finding faults, digging up old graves, picking up some fights.

3) Freebie ones who are just interested in free lunches and dinners (no pun intended) !!

But I as a cousin belong to category 1, love the hullabaloo, the hubbub. If unmarried, its a plus point cos I become the next eligible one around with people eyeing me. If a married lady, its fun to share the latest gossips in our inner circles .... All in all, its a good break from the normal routine.. these 3-4 days of paid (free lunch and dinner, aur kya!!) holidays!

As the parent of the bride

Ouch! it hurts. It does hurt my pocket. My Son in law and his parents may not have demanded anything but if I dont make this event eventful, the society and the people will chew me live? They will assume that I have gone bankrupt. They will build up stories that there is something wrong with my daughter and hence the hush-hush marriage. They will not let me live in peace!!

So, I just need to ensure that my daughter gets heavy sarees (if possible designer wear by Neeta Lullah) and heavy jewelleries. The caterer needs to be the best with 100s of varieties of foodstuffs. The flowers for the decoration must be imported. A car is a must-gift for my SIL. So, are the furnishings. And ofcourse gifts for all the relatives of the groom. Not to forget our own relatives. Then special accomodation for all of them too. After all, everyone is born in A/C rooms with a platinum spoon !!!

Its a question of our prestige and we will not let it go so easily even if it means taking heavier loans from all quarters.

As the parent of the groom

Well well... what can we say. Both are your kids. We wont interfere if you wish to make the marriage grand!!

But just a few things. Our friends cannot make it for the wedding so please host a reception near our place. You can expect only 1000 guests from our side! Ofcourse, if the car you are gifting is Maruti Esteem instead of Maruti 800, it will be better.The hall you chose is good but maybe the one where Abhishek Bachchan is about to get married will have better facilities, you know. Plus we need some arrangements for coming and going to mandap.

Rest all is in your hands!!

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Well well well... the story goes on and on....

But what is right? What is wrong? Is it right to spend money ostentatiously when people are still living below poverty line? Or is it wrong to make ONE special day out of the 60+ (appx) years one lives?

Well, as a parent, I would obviously prefer to give my kids my hard-earned money rather than let it get blown up unnecessarily but if they want a special day for themselves, then I think I can give it to them :)

I will leave the decision to them.

p.s. The parents or the inlaws in this review are not mine... but they do exist in reality :)