Jun 01, 2004 08:17 PM
11416 Views
(Updated Jun 04, 2004 02:14 PM)
-----SOME DAYS BEFORE: SOMEWHERE IN BIHAR-----
''Laloo Bihari hamar relway minastarwa banat hai babua!''
''Kya kahat ho Chintu?''
''Aur kahe? Hamare hIndia mein abhi ghor sankat aa sakat hai! Ek naye rel (rail) shadayantra ke liye tayar rehna Pintu!''
''Hum to suna hoon ki Laloo ne Kunal namak ek balak ko apna rel agenda bhi sunaya hai!!''
''Ye sasuri ki baat karat ho bhaiya!''
''Haan! Likhat hai ee Lalwa ulti-siddhi gaddiyaan nikalnewala hai! Patna se siddhe Lahore! Aur Shatabdi Ixprass (express) ko Rabri Ixprass naam dene ki ghoshna bhi kar li hai!''
''Ye to ghor Kalyug hai!''
-----SOME DAYS LATER: DELHI-----
Thus spoke Laloo Yadav, our hon'ble (!!!!! - who say's so?) Railway Minister:
''.....Hamre Bihar me.....sarry.....hIndia me ye jo relway hai, usme humka minastarva banaya hai. Hum pura pradhan tantra hi change karna chahta hoon! Arre, ye sasura rel minastar kay chiz hai! Hum to ek din is desh ka PM banunga!.....''
We used to have a joke in early days that if Laloo is given so and so ministry what will happen! Remember? Now, that day has already come. I just thought of what Laloo might change in the current railway system, and I called up Bihari babu to get a rough idea of what he is upto. And, he e-mailed me his complete agenda itself!
Hamre kantakt bhi kuch kam nahi hai babua!
From: Laloo Yadav (who@laloo.com)
To: Kunal (me@somewhere.com)
Date: (deleted)
Subject: Sasura agenda!
The new Indian Railways will....
Re-introduce steam locos - to boost coal industry in bihar.
Dismantle the reservation system, all seats will be open to janata, no
more reservations by upper cast and rich people.
a/c coaches will be abolished, a/c s will be auctioned in chhapra.
Shatabdi expresses to be renamed as rabri devi express.
10 new trains to be introduced from different parts of bihar to Patna.
All double lines to be reduced to single track to cut costs - the rails,
sleepers etc to be auctioned in muzaffarpore.
- Samjhota express will run from patna to peshwar, however it will be
converted to a goods train to carry fodder.
- New maha bhoj - litti and sattu - to be served in all luxury trains
palace on wheels, deccan odyssey etc.
- Re-zoning of railways: north bihar, south bihar, north eastern bihar,
central bihar, east bihar, south bihar, res! t of India - these will be new
zones.
- Next of kin of all people who die in train accidents will be given a job
in railways, no more rail board exam or wastage of public money.
- Any driver who dies in a train accident will not be allowed to drive any
more for public safety.
- Every village in India will have a railway station by 2007 -
constructions to start soon.
Free tickets for farmers.
De-electrification of major lines to save power. Local trains in Mumbai,
Kolkata, Chennai and Delhi to run on steam too.
- Special ''Gaai-bhains'' express for transporting domestic animals, who
have been neglected by the fundamentalist govt.
- There will be no ticket checkers in train, that shows the new govt
trusts the people.
Thank you
Laloo Parsad Yadav
-----
Now, you tell me your opinions, please! I can't see our railways moving towards the past!
