This was a review written & sent to a straight-jacket newspaper fr South, which will remain nameless, just before IPL3 finals (aka just before Modi was sacked!); as they have not published, you can read through this forum: Everyone has a view point on IPL & the surrounding glory and/or gloom. Here is mine.
A word of advise to the Opposition parties: What Mr. Tharoor did was unquestionably impropriety, presenting an opportunity you could not miss, to stall the Parliament & get some attention, by shouting about it. Rightly so, you asked for his head and got it. Move on. Wailing about Congress's delay in 'sacking' Tharoor - a dead snake - will not get anymore worthy Public Attention, which you relentlessly seek.
As to Tharoor: ever since Congress raised your hopes to return to your homeland and be noticed, with a blotched up bid for UN Secretary General seat, u have had a meteoric rise in Indian political-skies, giving you enormous confidence for u to have a say (or atleast a tweet) on anything & everything. Welcome to India. Great men like TN Seshan have paid dearly for ‘talking’; why should you not? Once the volcanic dust settles (I dont mean the one in India, but the one in Europe), I guess u can buy a one-way ticket to your London home (err, Dubai - why not; everyone banished here, be it Dawood Ibrahim, Husain, Sania et al, let me hasten to add, completely unconnected and with different 'professional skills' are seemingly headed that way). I for one, pray for your total freedom to write, which you do very well.
As to the good ole Minister of External Affairs (pun intended) & the MEA babus pushing papers, ever since 1947 (thanks to our mastery at bullock cart diplomacy like every other patented bullock-cart rate at which the great edifice of Govt of India works, barring occasional short lived bright spots here & there): well, one imported nuisance has gotten rid of itself. You can go back to the 'tried and tested' Indian-method of paper diplomacy, there is no real risk of someone using the clout Mr. Tharoor enjoyed internationally, to advance our chance of (say) a Permanent Seat in Security Council or any such worthy cause!
Back to IPL; Ms. Push-kar, true to her name, had not done badly at all, to 'acquire' sweat equity of Rs70 Crore while the asset itself is worth only Rs300 plus crore. That must be a record of sorts, for percentage of sweat equity, never mind it being allotted to one individual. I only wish, I had such helpful and benevolent friends who will be happy to pass Rs70 Crore my way, just like that, as true friends would do; indeed, without expecting anything in return, now or later. Well, on second thought, I am glad that I dont have friends with that sort of 'capability' or for that matter, willingness to 'help'. I have roots in India, I would rather keep the option of being able to come to India and not join the long list of people forced to settle in Dubai for alleged criminal offence, cultural offence, sports offence, marital offence and now economic offence.
Talking of which, I mean economic offence, a suggestion to Dubai World: After Desert Springs, Palm Springs, World Springs, you should consider filling up more sea and building 'India Springs' with enough villas numbering more than the sum of all that is built so far, to accommodate 'business potential' from India. Just to give you an idea of the size of the opportunity from a market segment holding a very high-percentage of ‘deserving’ individuals, under one of those categories, the name of which I wont mention: we have about 550 members in our parliament alone with equally competent if not more in 26 or so (and ever growing number of) other smaller 'houses' around the country.
Well, back to IPL! Now that the dust from IPL-Tharoor-Pushkar volcano has settled, the IPL Governing Council might as well do well, exploiting the intervening quiet period, to bolt securely all those skeletons in their cupboard, before a bunch of politicians who have not yet been accommodated (in the worthy public cause of promoting sports, which in Indian Dictionary is THE synonym for Cricket) starts making noises.
As to the 'investors' from Business Baronwood and Bollywood, stuff that was worth only 300+ crore rupees 3 years ago has gone up to a potential 10 times, yet again demonstrating the enormous potential of being able to fool millions of so called youngistaanis to buy 'branded' T-Shirts, mobile phones & fairness creams (I pity, their poor parents, who in most cases, are the ones paying for it knowingly or unknowingly!). Talking of which, as a middle class person, I am very clear that at the end of the day, the middle-class Indians are exclusively the ones paying dearly for all of IPL expenses and enormous 'returns' that Baronwood-Bollywood 'investors' will be taking away, sooner than later!
Why so? Consider this: From the day the player bidding starts for "IPL season X", to the day the 'show' is put on, there are only expenses and more expenses. Barring pittance stadium ticket revenue from 10k people watching a match (which by the way, cannot even pay for the fuel cost of flying down the players and the supporting tonnes of logistics, to the venue, not withstanding the fact that ONE yuppie class ticket for A match could cost you as much as Rs40k), there is no direct rev, as it is delivered free, to the vast millions that watch the show on TV! The rev gap is bridged by milking largely the FMCG manufacturers, telling us ad-nauseum (literally), how by using a shampoo or soap or oh yes, a fairness cream, I can change my fate for sure & voila stand a good chance of changing the fate of even my country, as one ad claims! (Ha! – “L...b...y soap used in an apartment block has demonstrated that 40% absenteeism at schools across India due ill-health can be avoided, if only”).
So what? My Granny who is 93, used to brush her teeth, till a few years ago, using ground brick powder. Today, she cant brush without a 'tooth powder' that is only occasionally 'advertised'. You can imagine, how many cans, tubes, bottles & satches of stuff, I will be buying every month, for the 'spoilt' me, my wife & even more 'spoilt' kids.There is a silver lining, though: I am extremely proud that I am contributing directly, to the cause of sports err cricket, by paying Rs2 per can, tube, bottle for the manufacturers in-turn to pay lakhs for a few seconds of advert. Besides, to seal the odd gaps in IPL rev, I pay Rs6 per SMS my son is sending for difficult to solve at the same time hilarious puzzles like "Name this karate star: a)Bruce Khan, b)Bruce Lee, c)Bruce Kumar". Well, can I not disconnect his mobile phone? No chance; we have all long since lost our ability to breath without mobile phones; why blame my son!
Well, as they say (and for sure as Mr Lalit Modi says), the show must go on!!
