The Indian ''Idle''. Review on Indian Idol

Disregarding the obvious superiority in quality of talent search programs like ?Sa Re Ga Ma Pa?, the Indian Idol chose to get taken in by the hype of an imported format.

Further star struck by a galaxy of overhyped Bollywoodians acting as judges, he watched in awe as the camera took him to big cities across the country as well as mofussil areas where bathroom singers of all shapes and sizes queued up in the heat to get themselves humiliated on national TV by three overrated judges.

Evaluation parameters were not restricted to singing prowess alone. Repeatedly, a newly coined term was flashed around ? some animal called ?the X-factor?. (No these candidates were not being auditioned for some porn movie ? this was supposedly meant to convey an overall pizzazz and physical charm that could be exuded over the audience at large, regardless or in addition to voice quality)

Having gone through the motions of this nationwide exercise, about 30 odd contestants made it to the shortlist. These were invited to Mumbai where they underwent some serious makeover in terms of their physical appearance and polish. Then began another round of eliminations after which we eventually had the final dirty dozen left standing.

The final twelve weeks were excruciatingly suspenseful as one participant after another got eliminated week after week. On a Thursday, the contestants performed for the Indian idles. The three judges who had been at their meanest and rudest worst in the pre-eliminations, were now smiling patronizingly at the hopefuls, offering comments which were supposed to kick off a national opinion about the day?s performance.

After the show and upto midnight, Indian idles went berserk on their cellphone keys to use the short-messaging-service offered by mobile telephone companies (who would have welcomed this unforeseen windfall) to send in their votes.

The next day, the annoyingly loud anchors tested the patience of Indian idles as they sadistically prolonged the announcement of results of the election by bringing the show to its climax. As participants got eliminated one by one, Indian idles got into lively debates on fora such as this one about the merits, demerits, justice and injustice meted out to the eliminated souls.

One particular candidate who caught the imagination of debaters happened to be lowly painter who was able to rub shoulders with other decidedly upper class bourgeois by virtue of this program. Most of the others were college students, who had decided to sacrifice their studies (temporarily or permanently) so as to be able to meet the channel?s stringent guidelines.

While a few favorites got left behind, a few dark (some literally) horses raced ahead.

At last, the final three contenders remained. One of them looked quite (over) confident to become the winner, but to the delight of many, got eliminated there itself.

As the contest reached its climax, the final two contestants were made to combat each other on a wide variety of turfs and the endurance of the Indian Idles, already severely tested, was put to further stress as the voting period was stretched from 3 hours after the show to one week. Various fora continued their animated discussions and lobbying efforts.

As the D-day dawned, the 11 odd finalists came back to relive their memories and the two frontrunners were again made to perform for a bevy of TV celebrities who were posed embarrassing questions on their pick.

Finally the result was announced after another agonisingly long and boring wait. The first (What! Does that mean there will be a second, third, fourth, fifth and so on!!!?) Indian Idol was a Mumbai based amateur singer who outlasted a Bhilai based engineering student. The last man standing was offered a crore rupee contract among other goodies.

All hell broke loose and supporters of the loser went on a rampage on websites, crying foul. Of course there was no logical explanation, but atleast they could give vent to their frustration.

Don?t worry Indian Idles. You can still become an Indian Idol!

1) First of all, life is not over for those eliminated. One of them has already signed a 20 lakh contract with Sony Music. Another is already singing for Farah Khan?s next film.

2) You always have a chance of becoming Indian Idol 2, Indian Idol 3 and so on?

3) In another 2 months, we are sure to have a few me-too programs on competing channels like Zee, Star, Sahara (a la KBC) where you can always try your luck.

Till then, you can continue to perfect your art in your bathroom!