Saving With The Enemy. Review on ICICI Bank

I have met the SURPRISE in the form of my bank statement, which says the bank has fined me Rs.830 from my account for not maintaining my quarterly balance.

When I called the bank the response was something like this:

''Your ''Zero Balance Power Pay Account'' has automatically been converted to ''Savings Account'' since you signed our 20 page booklet at the time of opening the account in which the clause 3 of page 5 says that we can do so. Is there anything else I can do for you sir?''

And I felt like saying ''Yeah, Loot the rest of the money as well''. But the lady on the other side was sounding sweet and she finished the conversation with ''Thank you sir, have a nice day sir''. Now, that's an expensive phone call, is int it?

There might be some clause in there which says they can ''Auto Draw'' money from your account to pay the electricity bill since you visit the bank too frequently and breathe conditioned air. But, not a problem anymore since there is int anything left in there and I don't want to go to the bank anymore since summer is already gone.

99% of the people who don't maintain their quarterly balance could not because they never knew how much had to be in there, not because they wanted to have some fun, and where did the banks provide that feature to us that reminds us of our quarterly balance? They din't and they won't because they need to keep their air-conditioners and water coolers running. Anyway, when was the last time they ever offered you cold water, must be when you opened the account provided you are accompanied by a fat moneycase.

How about the ATM giving you these details during transactions:

Your quarterly balance till now is: ''THIS MUCH''.

In order to fulfill the requirements you need to maintain ''THIS MUCH'' in your account till the end of this quarter from now on.

As simple as that, things would be a lot easier if they use their Hyper-Intelligence to benefit the customers. You don't buy a Tally package because you have a bank account and the bank does not do it for you since they don't want to see you happy, after all, why should they alone suffer.

You are not bothered as long as your account is flourishing, and on a day when it getting emptied you are attacked and kicked to dust. You know you have done the worst crime of all, you are gone boy, you have not maintained your quarterly balance, we will kill you for this crime with ''AQB CHARGES'' and vultures by names ''SER TAX'' and ''EDU CESS'' will finish the scavenging. Now, that's something which runs ''Clock Work Efficient'', perhaps the only thing that man has ever perfected.

I opposed my teacher when she fined me Rs.5 for coming late to the school. I was 10 years old then, studying 5th standard. She is no God and I felt she did not have the right to levy fines on me, and told her that in the face too. Yeah, she did make me stand for an hour in the Sun. I had lost a little sweat, but I gained the all important and priceless ''Freedom''.

I am not saving with the bank so long as the ''Devil makes the Rules'' or unless ''I become stinkingly rich'', and till then, the good old money box I have is good enough.