I Hate Luv Storys - Intolerable Cruelty !. Review on I Hate Luv Storys

Dharma Productions has tried its best to save this film. Infact a strange thing has happened this weekend and gone unnoticed. 3 big reviewers haven’t reviewed this film – Rajiv Masand, Anupama Chopra and Mayank Shekhar. Its as if Dharma Productions has made sure they don’t crush the movie. Well, they forgot to take into consideration word-of-mouth and me:P

After a long time, a movie has made my hands itch mid way through it. Good that I sat through it, otherwise this piece would have been ADULTS only! My choicest words were directed straight to the screen through the second half.

Some movies try to be Funny, some movies try to be witty, some movies cute, some movies try to be intelligent and some movies fail at absolutely all of these. I hate luv storys is one such film, which is so lame that even Lame is an compliment. It takes up every cliché in the ROMANCE film book, makes fun of it and then makes fun of itself by taking the same clichéd route. It’s like pissing into the wind; a few drops are bound to fall onto your boots!

But seriously. Everything about this movie is LAME. From the script, to the music, to the dialogues, to the acting. No, the acting is not lame; its atrocious. Consider making a film who’s script is like watching Autumn go by and casting 2 trees in it! Even those trees would have a layered performance because of the defoliation, but Imran and Sonam are like 2 logs: neither withering, nor growing – just existing! Watch Imran attempting his Maamu’s famous Crying on the phone scene from Dil Chahta hai. It’s like watching Walsh try to bat like Tendulkar!

If you still want to know the story, then it’s about this Idiot named Jai, who hates love as a concept, yet assists a famous director who specializes in the clichés of love. Then there is this Dimwit named SImran who loves LOVE as a concept and loves being in love and is the art director for the same Lame Director. Ofcourse there is also the usual near perfect fiance, the grim faced mom of the heroin, the plucky - never give up mom of the hero and the encouraging - beer guzzling – party pooping friend. So on the sets of the film, Simran falls in love with Jai, she proposes, Jai opposes. Then she moves on, he realizes he loves her, he proposes, she opposes! Untill finally he proposes, she disposes! phew, so on and so lameth! It actually starts with Jaane tu yaa jaane na, goes through Dilwale Dulhaniya Le jayengay, jumps over Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and borrows heavily from Dil Chahta Hai.

Director Punit Malhotra’s only talent is that he is the nephew of Manish Malhotra! Oh wait…my mistake. Even that ain’t a talent! It seems that he would take off his shirt and flaunt his muscles on the sets whenever the actors gave a good shot. Considering the performance of the actors, the director should stick to Mr.Muscle contests. Atleast there he wouldn’t need brains!

My only advice to all of you is stay about 2 kilometers away from the theater that is screening this movie. If your house comes within that limit, consider moving! Coz it surely is Intolerable Cruelty!

Rating: 1.5 / 10 – For the HOTT BRUNA

Raavan was better! Yeah thats my knock out blow!

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