Taken for a Nice Ride. Review on Hum Tum

Ok...so you got the Yash Chopra Banner, the ''oh-so cool'' Saif Ali Khan and the ''everyone-likes'' Rani Mukherjee. Add to that the marketing muscle power of Times of India. What have you got? Answer: A movie that takes you for a good Ride.

First let me comment on the BIG clash of interest between Times of India reviewing this movie and the fact that the company ITSELF is marketed in the movie (and possibly has also funded it). ''Which publishing company would possibly give an average or bad review to a film in which they have a monetary or image interests in? Huh?'' As far as I know, if this were to happen in US, the public could have sued this company plus the government may have imposed heavy fines with an order to break up the publishing arm from the music, radio and other business interests of TOI. So be warned before you get taken in by the Sunday Times review of Hum Tum or the glossy marketing. Do not believe it. Read Mouth Shut :)

The movie is a hotch-potch of comedy and drama. In the end it leaves me with a headache. Songs are bad too. And the acting is over-the-top. I am sick and tired of India being displayed as a playground of the rich, where every household has flat screen televisions, can afford grand marriages and live in the poshest of areas. Plus, the slickness and candy type display of everything around makes me nauseate.

To put it mildly, Indian Film Industry lacks creativity big time. They just can't make a good movie. At least not the Johar's and the Barjatya's. Amir Khan is the only possible credible actor today (with SRK sometimes suprising us with good movies too).

Ok...enough ranting.

Hum Tum is about how an irreverent guy ''Karan'' (Saif Ali Khan) who meets ambitious ''Ria Prakash'' (Rani Mukherjee) and how they are unable to communicate their real feelings about each other. Karan is happy-go-lucky and all he cares is having fun with women - dating them and having a nice night out. Ria is a decent girl who goes to New York to pursue further studies. Karan happens to be on the same flight (apparently he too is going to NY for further studies). They meet. Next thing you know Karan is trying to woo Ria and thus go in pursuit of yet another girl. In between their flight they have a stop at Amsterdam - where they hang around with each other with Karan displaying all his boyish antics to Ria. Ria gets upset with Karan when he kisses her and gives him a tight slap. Well...the scene then shifts to New York where Ria catches Karan wooing yet another girl (who just happens to be Ria's old college mate. Guess every Indian wants to be in UmmReeca!).

Next they meet in India when Karan's mother (who is a wedding party manager) asks him to come and assist her in one of the marriages. It happens to be Ria's marriage. And yet another ''girl-boy'' debate (which is frankly immature and prejudicial) occurs between them. Finally, Ria does get married to this guy played by Abhishek Bachchan.

Next scene shifts to Paris where Karan meets his father played by Rishi Kapoor. Karan's father and his mother are estranged and have not met each other in years. So Karan is in Paris to meet his pop. While travelling in France by train - Karan happens to meet Ria (marriage of convenience is an unique art of Indian Film Industry. Notice, how painstakingly I am avoiding the word Bollywood, which is really inappropriate). Intermission occurs with Ria saying that she is no longer married with explanations left for later

Anyways, the rest of the movie is all about how Karan tries to turn Ria back to her natural yuppiness (which has been converted into cold hearted ''Ria'' since her husband's deaths). Songs and dance, in-your-face emotional diaglogues galore follow up.

Scene shifts to India where Karan tries to arrange Ria's marriage (which she does not know of) with his brother played by Jimmy Shergill.

Well in the end the inevitable does occur. Ria gets to know the truth that Karan's trying to fix up a marriage for her, which she despises. Then she gets to know ''how much Karan loves her and wants her to be happy'' They make up - have a night out. Just when you thought the attack on your sensibilities is over, the movie drags on like a chewing gum. Apparently Karan thinks it ( the relationship) is all over and Ria thinks it's beginning of something new.

Karan and Ria break up again. Ria goes away from Karan's life, moves out of her Paris apartment. A year later, Karan has written this ''Hum Tum'' book (Hum being a Boy, Tum being a Girl), which is published by Times of India and apparently is a big big super super hit - with everyone in town just trying to get their hands on this book. Wow! Karan is giving a press conference. When it does get over, yo and behold - Ria comes up from nowhere. Later, they end up having kids, etc. ,etc. - live happily ever after. Whew!

Well anyways, all of this movie has been played out over 9 years of Karan and Ria's lives. The time since they met in the airport to the final scene where Ria meets up with Karan and they speak to each other of their ''love'' for each other.

Final Comment: I am left stunned by the number of times Indian Film Industry has got away with such creative murder. One of the main reasons is: guys like myself pay up for watching such movies (herd mentality). Other reasons - TOI taking everyone for a ride, established names fooling us into bad movies, etc. etc.