!! Haunted !!. Review on Himesh Reshammiya

Dear friends,

Just if you happened to visit IndiaFM.com or to watch StarNews.com, oh sorry, I mean just * News, you would find that our Himesh bhai’s music is haunted. ’Ek Baar Aaja Aaja Aaja’, the line is used to call spirits, and in some remote villages of the country, people singing this track near a well or a graveyard are being possessed by evil spirits, as the lyrics ’Jhalak Dikhlaja..., combined with Himesh’s rendition catches the ear of our dear ghosts and the dead man awakens listening to him. Scary, isn’t it? Naah!

So basically the point I’m trying to drive home is that if a ’Jhalak Dikhlaja’ can cause this much trouble, what harm would you expect other songs of this man’s repertoire to cause? Let’s find out! Whether it will make sense or not, I have no clue. But read on and remember, what I’m gonna write is surely scary. Darna Zaroori Hai..

Story 1: Himesh walking all alone in a forest having an influence of bluish-green light all over. The night-insects make the dozing sound which Himesh’s ears can no longer tolerate. An evil bird flies above his head which frightens him a great deal. Just at the moment, Himesh sees an abandoned mansion at a very distant place and decides to take shelter therein. Upon reaching the bungalow, the doors open automatically and all he can see in the room are some old photographs of the persons who used to live there some 2000 years ago. As soon as he enters the mansion, the doors close, automatically again, and his track echoes in the background - Teri Yaad Yaad Teri Yaad Yaad.. Himesh tries to open the door and when unable to, he screams for help, but to no avail. Just then, all lights of the bungalow start flickering and finally get off. The room Himesh is in becomes pitch-dark.

But its here where the actual story begins. Himesh can sight smoke being blown all around in the room he is trapped in. Perhaps under the impression that he is possessed by a supernatural being, he plots to get rid of it. In full Himsh style, he goes on.. Oooooooooooooo huzooooooooooooor... tera teraa teraaaaa surrooooooooooooooorr... His plan does succeed to an extent, and all the bad effect that he had been observing, stops. The moment is filled with silence and for a while, nothing could be seen or heard. The moment becomes more intense as Himesh witnesses a black spot right in front of his eyes. Suddenly, a ray of light passes through that smoky room and falls on a photo-frame. The photo is the album cover of Himesh’s album ’AAP KA SURROOR’ (displayed in pic). In the background, just 3 words go on and on continuously.. Naam hai tera tera naam hai tera tera naam hai tera tera.... Himesh faints. Police goes to the mansion next day and finds nothing. Investigation is still on.

Story 2: After excessive workload, Himesh walks back home. While walking, he unintentionally steps on nimbu-mirchi that someone might have thrown on the way. Ironically, at the time he stepped on it, he was singing his own creation - Mohabbat Hai Mirchi Sanam. Still not knowing about it, he returns home and sleeps. Mid-night, he is awakened by a strange sound coming from near his balcony, behind which is located a graveyard. On looking at that, he notices that the sound comes from one grave which can be distinctly seen and is shining. Afraid, he retires to sleep but not for long. The sound gets even more louder and he is disturbed. And now, though the grave is far away, it is reflected in his mirror. Drawing the window curtains doesn’t help. All of a sudden, he feels a sudden push and hears, in a ghostly voice, a song being played - I wanna make love to you... Rock me baby.. kiss me baby..

Himesh’s backbone still, he demands the witch to reveal her identity. In slow motion, another song is played in the background.. Tum Saanson mein.. tum dhadkan mein.. utar gaye.. humko deewana.... Himesh puts both his hands on his ears and it looks like he is trying to recall something from the past, making inane and squirky faces that would even frighten the ghost. Again, the witch, with a very thin and nasal voice, sings in Himesh’s tune.. All Day All Night Mujhe Yaad Sataye Terri... Himesh now remembers everything. The witch was his pre-life counterpart, and the two together had looted many Vicks Inhalers. Himesh is happy to see her and for the first time in his life, smiles. He catches her hand and starts dancing to his latest sensation Shabe Firaaq Hai, the lyrics of which only he understands. But here is a twist in the tale. For the next two days, he was not to be traced anywhere. As he had smiled that night, it is now assumed that he too is... DEAD !

So all you Himesh haters, Zara Jhoom Jhoom Zara Jhoom Jhoom Zara Jhoom Jhoom Jhoom...

Story 3: March 23, 2007. Himesh is in a car, going for yet another award function where he has 3 nominations of 5 for the best music director, and 2/5 for Playback Singer (Male, I guess!) On his way, he meets a pretty gal wanting a lift. Seeing in her a probable face for his new video, he gives her one. In the stereo of his car is playing his own creation Aa Aa Aashiqui Mein Teri.. Tuuuuuuuu meri jannat hai... The female tells her that it was her wish to act with him in a music video but owing to an unfortunate accident, she lost her life. Himesh doesn’t believe her and thinking her to be a fun girl who will now surely feature with him, he sings - Nikamma Kiya Iss Dil Ne. Suddenly when Himesh turns to the left, he finds that the girl is now seated at the back, with her clothes all loosened. Thinking to follow Emraan’s footsteps of the song Aashiq Banayaaaa Aaapne, Himesh touches the girl, only to find out that she cannot be felt. The girl has a shrill laugh, and the car falls off from near a hill.

Right down where the car dropped, Himesh looks petrified. He turns around but the girl seems to be nowhere in sight. But... everything is not over yet. He sees her standing right in front of him and much to his horror, she is seen wearing his cap while our nasal-guy is capless! He wants to run away to the nearest cap-store but by the female fatale, is rendered incapable of moving. She stands there, runs her hands on her hair, dances and sings - Just Chill Chill Just Chill. Himesh cannot understand the trick, and is charmed by her super power. He is hypnotised by her, and follows her everywhere. Though aware that she ain’t a human, he falls for her and also sings to her, bardaasht nahin kar sakta. His life and his career is ruined. Just then, he hears a small murmer, "Get up Himesh. Today is the awards day. How long will you sleep?" Ha, gotcha! But take another twist in the tale. Just while he is driving for the awards ceremony, he sees the same girl on the highway asking for a lift. Now you let me know what should he do, in the Comments Section.

Leaking out...™

aLi.

© Aliasgar Poonawala, 2006