Jul 24, 2003 10:45 PM
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(Updated Jul 24, 2003 10:45 PM)
'Stress is the response of the body's functional systems as coordinated by the mind, which on the basis of intellect has identified the change as a demand to adjust or to adapt.'
A recent survey conducted on the big corporate names worldwide revealed that stress is in reality good for work …and it Improves productivity and performance! Well, so who wants to get rid of stress? In fact, shouldn't we all work harder to get more stressed?
See the benefits:
More Stress -> Better Performance -> Higher Productivity -> More Incentives -> Increase in Salary -> More chances of Promotion -> Better career -> More fun!
Here are some tips that may help you:
1. Feast on Food=Eat anything and everything you want. The ideal diet is supposed to be 50% carbohydrates, 20% protein and 30% fat. But hey, who will calculate those percentages, huh? Just chill out! Chocolates, Oily and Fried food, Generous Spice and Ice - should be your items of daily intake.
2. Never Exercise=Exercising is out of fashion. Don't waste your time in trying to keep yourself healthy and active by exercising. Do not invest in a gym or a health club. Take your car or a cab even for short distances. Don't walk!
3. Gain Weight=Not exercising will help, but try harder to gain about 10 pounds. Set a target for yourself and review every week. Make sure that your Body Mass Index touches the'obese' category. Remember, 'Big is Beautiful'.
4. No more than the 5 senses=Give up your sense of humor.Life is too serious to be laughed about. Show up a blank face when someone cracks a joke. People will automatically begin respecting you.
5. Stimulants=Take plenty of stimulants like tea, coffee, tobacco, cigarettes etc. The stress levels will rise instantly! Make them a habit.
6. Become a Workaholic=Work, work, work - that should be your mantra. Working for long hours on a continuous basis helps in accumulating stress. Whether required or not, you can always look for something to work upon. Help your colleagues by taking up their part of the job as well. It is not a very good idea to take regular short breaks.
7. Show your courage=Show people that you are strong. Never ask for help. Do not socialize. Be all by yourself. Lie or hide if your family members and close friends try to poke their nose in your life. Don't let anyone cross your personal domain. Avoid intimacy.
8. Don't bother about Time=Oh, there is plenty of time to work on the pending stuff, if any. Delete all Time Management files from you computer and Tear up the posters and post-its on the same. Procrastinate, let some work pile-up before you begin working on it.
9. Express your anger=Get angry at every opportunity. Do not forgive easily. Maintain a list of Grudges you hold and add at least 5 names every month. Take revenge whenever possible. Don't you want people to take you seriously? Show them!
10. Keep a negative attitude=Keep a negative attitude towards life and self. Mourn over things of the past. Think about the mistakes you've done and feel guilty. Befriend frustration. Worry over things you cannot control. Use the words'can't', 'impossible', 'no', 'shouldn't' frequently. Accept and Personalize all criticism.
Finally, Do not believe everything that you read!
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*Stress helps us in changing, adapting and growing. But, chronic stress can have devastating consequences. Just reverse the tips to de-stress yourself!
May you have a stress-free life!*
