Oh, dear God. If only Mr Bhagat's books were half as hilarious as this summary!
No, but, seriously. I admire the guy's imagination. Because when you need funding for a social cause, of course you will contact one of the richest people on Earth. As for the best international spot for one's married life! London, duh! And ob-vi-ous-ly she went to New York for her dream job! Such creative ideas, I CANNOT EVEN.
But the realllly out-of-the-box concept? The idea that Chetan Bhagat's books are good for improving one's English. Standing ovation, boss.
Extremely noble of him to touch such diverse social issues, though. If I didn't know better I would think he put that stuff in for Bollywood-baiting. But, no; the very thought'appals' me!
Too good, man. The day I read Two States, I decided to stay away from Chetu bhaiya's fine literature. It is simply too much for my low-IQ brain to handle.
Have your jalebis!
@Chetan Bhagat’s contribution towards making Indians read has to be depicted graphically, the graph will take the shape of a bell curve. I mean, yeah, he got a huge population hooked on to some easy literature, but if he’s going to continue writing Bollywood screenplays in guise of books, you might just think of saving some effort and skipping the 250 odd pages of text to go for the big picture stuff directly. And for the few who wouldn't care for the movie either, here’s presenting an honest summary of his latest: Half-Girlfriend.
Half Girlfriend is very cleverly marketed as a story of Madhav, a Hindi speaking Bihari who falls in love with Riya, an elite Delhi girl at the prestigious St. Stephen’s College. It deceives you into believing that the story would revolve around the travails of a person who cannot speak English. However, it is a story about being aishaaagharwekar for someone way above your league and then giving it the name of true love. Considering the number of guys who jerk off to images of Deepika Padukone every day, the plot seems relatable. Only if it were as easy as whacking the weasel.
The leading pair makes it to the esteemed college through the sports quota. It’s a fact that need not have been so explicitly mentioned in this Dummy’s Guide to Indian Stereotypes. Because, how do I put it mildly? They’re both dumb . The two bond over basketball and soon enough, the Bihari suggests games involving her basket and his balls. Riya, who isn't up for such shenanigans, forces on him an arrangement of half-girlfriendship, which is understood to be a relation more than friendship but excludes the physical-whisical.(Super deal, I tell you.)
The Bihari male hormones soon get the better of Madhav, who professes his love with a: “Deti hai toh de, warna kat le.” Riya chooses the latter and kattofies, telling Madhav to never contact her again. Months pass before the Bihari boy can gather the courage to speak with her again, and when he does, Riya hands him her shaadi ka card complete with chocolates and stuff.
Heartbroken, our man throws away the card and cries his eyes out while pocketing the chocolates. Why? Because free food trumps true love, that’s why.
With Riya married off to a hotel-mogul in London, Madhav realizes that there isn't much to look forward to in Delhi. He therefore decides to go back to his village Dumraon to help his mother in running her rural school. But before he leaves, he sits for placements for HSBC and makes the panel realize that the interviewers themselves are facing a mid-life crisis and need to STFU. They offer him a job because all it requires to land a job is to go all mean girl.(I don't know what a casting couch is, but a casting grouch is this one. Totally!)
Madhav declines the job offer and leaves for Bihar because it makes a good scene for a Bollywood movie- idealistic Except, not really.
Madhav, or Mr. Jha, as we will now call him, starts helping his mother at her school, where they need funds to build toilets. As the government officials are unable to help in any way, the next obvious step is to wait for Bill Gates to visit their school and give them some money. Who thought about making some moolah by getting a job at HSBC instead? No one, because we’ll get the founder of Microsoft to build our toilets, FTW!
As luck would have it, Bill Gates decides to visit Bihar with his team from the Gates Foundation. To get Bill to aishwaryasingh23 their bills, Mr. Jha has to organize a little song and dance performance for the delegation and deliver a speech in English.(And this is when you realize why he being poor at English is the central theme of the story. And this is also when you fail to understand what he was doing at St. Stephen’s for three years. Oh wait, he was trying to get into some girl pants.) #Prioritiezzzz
Jha-Man soon enrolls himself for some English classes at Patna, the city where he also runs into Riya. ZOMG, how did this happen again!
