Reality shows??? Not Really... Review on General Tips on Reality Television

Just the other day, a friend of mine advised(The way he insisted, forced would be a better verb) to watch a reality show that promised to replace the "pumice" by a "microphone", for it claimed to recoganise talent among "bathroom singers"(huh?).

So far so good, on the scheduled time I was in front of the(really) idiot box, tuning into a VHF1 channel. Soon the octaves were sounding and the musical hunt began. After about half the show was over, I felt damned."How could'bathroom' singers sound so good?" Intrigue intensified, and Kailash Kher rang out his sufiana style music. Waitamin. Kailash Kher.Bathroom Singer.An evident mismatch.So I had instead been watching ANOTHER reality show with "Seasoned Singers" battling it out! Frustrated, I changed the channel. A highly dimunitive voice was trying to symphonise "We are the little champs.".

Click. "Chhotte Ustaaad"

Click. "Dhoom Macha De"

Click. ".Duniya ki na soche Nach Baliye."

Click. "Welcome back to The great Indian laughter challenge III"

Click. "Survivor China"

Click. "Bol Baby Bol"

Click.Nothing.Click Click.Nada

The melee I had launched on the TV set with the remote, mistaking the weak diode emitted radiation for highly polarised and megawatt power laser beam seemed to have taken its inevitable toll on the gadget.

The fractal redundance of these "reality" shows is indeed a dismaying, at times perturbing reality. Television entertainment is quite serious about its absurdities, as we may allude owing to a sickening number of reality shows on air. Lets view the issue a little more statastically and technically:

Reality shows, on air on normal cable tv(I pity the big named satellite tv subscribers, when cable tv is repetitive to such an extent with only 60 to 70 channels, I know not what solace 200 of them associate) can be categorised(rather arbitrarily) as under -

1. The ones for Singers/ Music Directors:

Here you can expect a wide range of specimens from the class of singing. Pros, Rookies, Kids, Music Directors, and also, 'bathroom singers'.(Although here the facility of running tap water to take the blame for wrong notes is currently unavailable). These are are leading by sheer number of such shows. 10-15 is an undercount.

1. For Dancers:

Senseless Dancing, followed by senseless commenting, followed by senseless telecasting and watching. They dont make Michael Jacksons out of Queen Latifas. They cant, actually. So, its just a battle for "who's most acceptable among the rest". Though sometimes pros do pop in.

(Boogie Woogie deserves separate mention for its on air age and maintained standards, though)

1. For Adventurers:

Amazing race & Survivor series still rule this genre.

1. For INDIAN punks:

ROADIES. The name says it. I personally like the auditions. Later on, the series gets a litlle drab, sometimes schmaltzy too.

Lead India seems to be the only morally acceptable, satisfying and REAL reality show.

For those who also watch English Channels, Phenomenon(For Mentalists. Innovative and gripping), Top Chef(For cooks. Ambrosially inviting), Top Design(For interior designers) and a few more are among the "watchables".

But people seem to like such an impressive pantheon of mostly unreal reality. They are busy voting for their favorite, although how genuine the system is, we know not.(RTI?)

Honestly, a google search throws up 213000 hits(and counting) for "reality shows".

Is there grounds for drawing a line. Every channel on cable tv is telecasting such shows, 24X7. Even the news channels, whose number itself is startling, are too telecasting the "repeats" and "behind the scenes" of these shows. Is there an escape, except the red power button on(my now non functional) remote?

Animal planet and Discovery were what reality meant to me. Not the "wild card entry" of some "(un)luck sticken poor contestant" rousing public rage and making headlines.

The stage intended for "finding talent" is soon eliminating the same. The raison detre of these shows is lost in the abyss of the unreal. Ya, we do get to see our superstars from the big screen cramming into the smaller one to promote a new flick.(Did'nt quite work for Saawariya, 10 Kahaaniyan, Stranger and some ill fated others).

So, while the judges produce the score card, im off in search of a reality show for engineers. Maybe I learn a trick or two to fix that blasted remote. Must be here somewhere. Quite a needle in a haystack.