A woman's LIFE....HATS OFF !. Review on General Tips on Personality Development

We men often make fun of women on many contexts, without ever going through the pain and hardships they undergo in their life. Some pains are God sent through natural biological processes and some are because of false traditions and wrong doings of our society. No, I am not talking about beating of women by illiterate husbands and dowry deaths by in-laws. Those are different barbarous aspect of our society; of which we are also very much are  part of… I want to share some feelings, which every woman, from middle or higher class has to go through.

Age: 4- 6 yrs(pain process-I)

I think the pain and torture starts from the very early childhood from the piercing of ears. Just imagine a  4 – 6 years old girl child and her ears being pierced by some illiterate jeweler with some strange gun shot or a pointed wire. I think most of the men will sweat through their teeth when a similar piercing gun or a pointed wire is placed near their ear and trigger is about to be  fired. And just imagine a 4-5 year delicate girl who is not aware what is going to happen, is subjected to this torture. The infection, blood, pulled earrings and so many problems follow, which she has to bear with no escape. Can’t it be done medically so that there is no pain and infection to follow? Never thought of it……….?

Age: 13- 22 yrs(pain process-II)

When she grows up a little, then starts the 4 days pain of monthly cycle, which she has to bear for the whole life. Although it is a biological process provided to woman by God, but still unduly she is made to feel embarrassed whenever that time comes. Sanitary packs needs to be carried in black polythene from the chemist to home, to avoid the staring of males around. At home or outside every precaution need to be taken so that nobody is able to judge what she is going through. She must be feeling ‘very limited’ those days, not because of the discomfort and pain because of natural process but by the strange glares and frowning of men around. A man can throw up on bed or sofa after drinking 4 pegs of whisky and sleep for whole day, but she is supposed to be neat, clean, active and working after bearing so much pain and blood loss. Even the advertisements on TV shows a woman so much active and working, and may be inside she is so tired that she does not feel like picking up the finger.

Age: 24 27 yrs(Pain process-III)

One day when she comes from college and her mother informs that a marriage proposal has come through some known person(may be bhua ji ka ladka) and day after tomorrow a meeting has been fixed  with them. Girl’s world seem to turn upside down suddenly, not because she does not want to marry but it is so sudden that it seems that a truck has hit her.  But she gets ready for it on the assurance that no decision will be taken at the spot. But parents of girl are mentally prepared that ‘haan te kar deni hai’ because middle man(vichola) knows the boy very well and family is good. ‘Agar ab na hua to chapple ghis jayengi ladka dhundte hue’ that is what girl’s father is thinking at the moment. In meeting Boy seems okay, clothes are sober, he does not look like hrithik roshan, but can pass out as his eyes, nose and lips are correctly numbered. Middle man(Vichola) is in hurry to get ‘yes’ from both the families, mainly from girl. Girl’s father also joins vichola and pressurizing the girl. Mother wants to take some more time for decision, but vichola has to leave today for his home town, so his train ticket overrides the life journey of the girl. And after some collective effort,   they become successful in extracting a meek ‘yes’ from girl’s mouth, who is looking at whole process with misty eyes andleaving her fate in hands of God. Anyways sweets are distributed, vichola is appreciated from both sides('bahut bada kaam kar diya munde ne'). Girl also settles for the boy, after exchanging mushy-mushy sms for two months they got married. Married to their fate.

Age: 25-30 yrs(pain process IV)

With her first foot in her husband’s house, she is expected to say ‘papa’ and mummy’ to boys father and girl to whom she is meeting properly for the first time. She just cannot stop comparing them to her real parents and forced to substitute ‘papa’ and ‘muumy’ in lieu of ‘uncle and ‘aunty’ on her tongue. Till now society and school taught her that anybody other than real parents is uncle and aunty and now she is forced to do the reverse. Anyway boy is understanding, mummy and dad are also good. She wants to go to her parents after three months. Boy is ready to send her may be take her along but is not ready to stay there more than a day.'Mein subhe chod ke shaam ko vaapis aa jaunga, bahut kaam hai peeeche'. He is afraid what society will say? in-laws ke ghar do din reh ayay? Toba toba. Boy is very self respecting, infact all self respect has collectively pooled in just now. He is not able to understand that his wife is going to stay with his parents all her life, serve them as her real parents, but when its his turn, he becomes a self respected person who does not want to say with her parents even for one day, although it is going to make his wife immensely happy.

Then the child birth part comes. The most joyful and painful too in her life. Boy and his family is eating rasmalais outside the nursing home and she is in labour pain for the last 14 hrs. All of them are waiting for the child but nobody is with her actually at the moment. Sab ko hoti hai pain, is me naya kya hai? But she is struggling and wiggling with pain alone, even it is a nature’s process but still she alone has been destined to go through it….

I want to take this review till her old age, but depend on readers' rating and comments only. Thank you for reading such a long review.

Soniarun2@hotmail.com