May 22, 2002 11:32 AM
5756 Views
(Updated May 22, 2002 11:57 AM)
Internet addiction is a state where you just can’t get enough of the internet. You might get withdrawal symptoms if you don’t use the net for even a day. The worst part of this addiction is that you might not even know that you are addicted to the net. I wanted to make this review funny but let me tell you guys something serious before I start the funny part.
A simple question. When were you last online? Just an hour back. How long since you had a dinner or lunch or some good time with your friends? Uh..hmm.. I don’t remember! This internet addiction is a hidden disease creeping among us. Nowadays social interactions are being replaced by superficial virtual meetings. Nowadays some students rush home not to hang with Raju, Manu or Kallu but rush home to meet silk_smitha, love_me and loverboy(!!?). If the only kind of chat you have depends on the internet server and are proud of the fact that you have met 3 out of the 50 persons you met online in real life , then some morons might consider you amazing but people with some common sense will consider you a fool. Some of you might think that you share a close friendship with your online buddies but how many of then will come to you when you or one of your family is in the hospital? Thought provoking uh?
Okay, that’s enough of the serious BS? Let’s get to something funnier. How do you know that you are addicted to the internet? Some of them signs have been forwarded to me and some of them have been made by my friends and some of them by me (“Omigod, by rahul, this is gonna be worse than a concentration camp!). SO here we go, faster your seat belts and get set for the ride of you life (boy is that clichéd!).
1) You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way to your bed. ---- “Ahhh, flusshhhh, that was a relief, oh there’s a mail from Tania.”
2) You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access. ---- “Dad just one more year, I have to this diploma, Okay son, I am so proud of you! You are so keen on studying! Yippee one more year on internet!”
3) Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to whistle to communicate with the modem and you succeed. – “theen, theen, whoosh, “verifying user name and password”.. Logging on to network.”
4) You find yourself typing ''com'' after every period when using a word processor.com—“okay whatever you say.com”
5) You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem. – “Rahul why don’t you call your mom, I can’t she does not have a modem.”
6) You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. – “Ahh, that was an hearty meal and I have some serious downloading to do..”
7) You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.—“Yeah, I like the Jaguar series of toilets and what about the Parryware range, is that good ?”
8) Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer, and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.- “Okay honey, I know we have to do something, first thing tomorrow we go and buy a Dlink Modem and a P4 computer. That should so how much I love you”
9) You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy. – “Yeah, I have got a Mercedes S class, Oh Aamir is my school buddy.. Okay enough.. press the ignore button”
10) Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. – “ Where is that site on African Mugaabbu Tribe that I bookmarked”
11) You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop. – “ ThinkPad – Check, Cell Phone- Check, Extra Batteries – Check”
12) Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box. – “Wow this is sure a heavy box”
13) You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask. – “Hey angel_eyes, we have known each other for 2 years but should I call you he or she”
14) As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the ''back'' button. – “skidddddd, Crasssssh, quick press the back button”
15) You dream in HTML, DHTML and sometimes even XML! –- “You know what, last night I dreamt about form reports and frames ! Wow, no kidding!”
And the number one reason that shows that you are addicted to the net is that you think none of this is funny !
Why don’t you guys add more stuff like this in the comments, I can add them here. What say ?
