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Every man is special...
Jan 15, 2008 05:37 AM 4274 Views
(Updated Jan 15, 2008 06:05 AM)

The very fact I am the first to write a review on this topic explains two facts:


No one else knows how to impress women.


Women are hard to impress.


Considering the fact this a product review site, its sacriligeous on part of MS to put them as'products' or'cheez'. But nevertheless, women know that they are the most important species on earth.


Consider this:


If it were not for women, I and you won't be on this planet.


Again, if it was not for women, you won't have had so many wars fought so History would be confined to a few petty clashes like the Freedom struggle of India.


Also, the monuments we swear by and vote so heavily for when we are asked to won't be there in the first place. So, a lot of tourist spots would be off the map and that would mean no foreign tourists, nothing that India could promote.


By now, you know why impressing women is such a big deal. It effects the economic, social, economical, moral, scientific and all sorts of other growths which I can't talk about here. So, WOMEN are the reason this earth is moving, you and I are breathing and smiling.:) And if we want to continue doing so, we must learn how to impress them.


In the wake of the movie'Taare Zameen Par' which advocates the fact that every child is special, I need to convey that 'Every Man is special' too. (Thats because child is the father of man. That was a poor joke. )


So what if he suffers from so many learning disorders when it comes to understanding women, impressing them and passing with flying colours.


Ready to learn? Come, let me offload my gyaan and if that helps even one bit in impressing your wife, your neighbour's wife, your girlfriend, your classmate, your colleague, your whatever who satisfies the criteria of being a woman, I will be the happiest person. Don't ask me for my resume and experience in this regard. I have none. But doesn't that mean I am more open with ideas? So, embrace it!


Formula # 1: Whoever told you women are impressed by anything that is sweet - words, flowers, chocolates was lying. In fact, women look upon these acts of men as deceiving and suspiscious. So, does that mean you should start sounding stingy and sharp. No way! You should use the word 'What if' before anything you tell them.


For example,


*'What if'I told you I Love you?


'What if' I told you I am in love with my Boss' wife?*


'What if' I told you I am taking you to Italy for our next wedding anniversary?


Check her answer. If she says: WOW, thats cool! You know how to handle the next step which should go in your favour. On the other hand, if she says: Don't tell me! You must be kidding. You ARE.right?


Your next answer would decide how your woman is impressed. You have already tested the water before diving. So, you can decide.


Formula # 2: Women do get impressed by small gestures of kindness. Open a door for them. Get them a chair to sit on. Tell them you would cook for the dinner. Tell them you would change the little one's nappies.


Hey wait.see some growlings among men. Small gestures these? Dear men, for us, it maybe presenting the world to them. But for them, these are ALL small gestures of being kind enough. So, learn to understand what is small and what is BIG. Set your expectations clearly. It would keep you happy most of the time.


Formula # 3: When the woman says she is right, just listen. Keep listening. Don't argue. Let her finish her argument even if it goes on for days, months, weeks, years.learn to listen and not to argue. Years later, when you visit her grave to offer flowers, you would say:


"Lord bless you honey! I always knew you were wrong and I guess by now you too know that you were wrong. But you won't have lived this long had I argued with the facts when you were alive. See, how much I loved you." And here, your tears should come out. She will be impressed in death as she was in living.


Formula # 4:  I would talk in General as this topic says'GENERAL' advice on impressing women. That reminds me: Women like to generalize men.


For men, there are beautiful women, ugly women, smart women, dumb women, bad women, good women, sad women, happy women. For women, there are only MEN. Whenever they are running into a man, they know what to expect. It makes matters worse for you. So, what to do?


Think about your brother Plato in heaven. He was smart enough to be in the company of women and never let them suspect what he actually thought or felt for them. I wonder how he did it. But if he can do it, so can you. I don't know if Plato's autobiography is available. Read it if possible. Don't try it on your wife though. She would be the last one to expect a Platonic relationship from you. I for one, have an Amitonic relationship with my wife. I love the fact that it has the word'tonic' in it.


Formula # 5: The very fact that I have come this far shows my genuine interest and desire to help the men out here. So, that too is my last formula. TRY. Show the DESIRE to impress. Women love it more than the impression. They love to see the men go through the pain of trying to impress them.


I don't want this review to exceed beyond the character limits. I want to keep it short and sweet. So that means we need to finish.


========================================================================


Women:** If at all there is a way to impress you, please let us know.


Men: You don't need to build a mausoleum to impress your woman. Its possible within the lifetime. YOURS, i.e.


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