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The panorama that is the Indian highway!
Feb 16, 2008 08:02 PM 3455 Views

Ek Raastaa Hai Zindagi Jo Tham Gaye To Kuchh Nahi


Yeh Kadam Kisi Mukaam Pe Jo Tham Gaye To Kuchh Nahi…


What do these lines have to with the topic?


?


?


?


?


?


I was sick and tired{and ok, ok, OK chintu-Pachhis and Rohit – Jealous too! There! Now I have said it. Satisfied?}…. Now where was I? Aah yes, I was at Sick and tired…


So we start again.


I was sick and tired of reading reviews starting with poetry and / or songs. So Methought that hook or by crook, my next review will start with a poem!


General Advice on Driving{Non}Sense…


Yup. Right, trusted circle. The title DOES NOT say it all in this review! I have tried to encapsulate some tips and tricks on driving on roads, digging into what all my collective bosses hope is sincere working hours spent on a bike during the formative years of my career.{Which is most of my career so far;)}


TRUCKS


Common sense says beware of them. The newspapers say beware of them. The people say beware of them… I say that they are the best drivers on the roads. They come in various styles, shapes and sizes. Here I shall attempt to enumerate the styles:


1) The 40-km-an-hour truck: This guy will stick tape on his accelerator once speed reaches 40. Result? The damned truck will stay at 40 kmph come hell or high weather! Any kind of road, any traffic – he will stay at 40. Wont pass, wont allow you to pass – left or right! DON’T ride behind him for the love of mike, for he will like as not go to ZERO from 40 in the twinkling of an eyelid…


2) The Speed Demon: If a whiff of a gale force wind passes you by, and you can see the vehicle, then you’ve got yourself and speed demon truck. The most dangerous of the lot – beware of him. Let him pass sooner than soon – and for heaven’s sake don’t follow him as he overtakes!


3) The rest of the lot: These comprise the balance 90 – 95% of all trucks, and are generally very stable and good in the driving etiquette they display. Almost never have I noticed a miss from these guys.


CARS


Whats to worry, says your common sense, your friends, your newspapers and your spouse. Your common sense, friends, Newspapers and spouse are specifically WRONG. These are the real killers- direct or indirect. They generally display a complete lack of driving sense and etiquette, will overtake from right or left, will speed, will NOT show dipper, will not allow you to pass – and if you perchance manage to somehow pass, will turn the highway into a racing track! Their types:


1) The racer: Unseen. Only heard and felt. Heard as a roar, Felt as a whiff of wind that shakes your vehicle from stem to stern. They, along with speed demons above, are the real killers of the road. Unlike a speed demon, if you see a racer coming, park your vehicle by the road side. The speed demon has more sense than this guy!


2) The stable guy: Nice dependable character. Only problem: he numbers around 5% of cars on the highways!


3) The selfish guy: Balance 90%. Charactarised by:


a) I will not show dipper. I will ride on FULL BEAM, saamewaaalaa be damned!{In 10 years, I have yet to meet a SINGLE truck who does not show dipper when I dip my headlights. Fact}


b) Thou shalt not pass


c) Thou shalt not blow horn – or else!


d) I will not signal


e) I have purchased the middle of the road for my good self, it belongs to me, and I shall possess it till I reach my home


What is it with these car-waalaa drivers? In my considerable experience, very few car drivers show the consideration of the dipper on highways. I wonder why? Just compare with the trucks, who always do! I also wonder why the slow truck will drive usually by the road side, while the slow car occupies the middle of the road as a matter of right?


THE BIKES AND THE REST


1) The value - lifers: These guys stick like glue to the left of the road, and will not leave come what may1


2) Duniya-hamari-hai: Twist accelerator to speed 90 and keep it there. Overtake wrong side et al – all the ills displayed


3) Miya-Biwis: Dangle all over the road, leading to honks etc etc!


4) The sensible types: Quite a few actually. Ride as per the road!


5) The Cyclists: Are extremely unpredictable!


As for the rest: you will get Bullock carts, cows, buffaloes, dogs, and many other variants, which make the road a panorama of some note!


IN SUMMATION


I just have a few tips on speeding:


1) Ride only as fast as the road allows you to ride. By this, I mean on a road that is smooth and not too crowded, drive like the wind. Reason? You go slow –but the rest of the lot are going fast. That will cause insecurity and a fear psychosis. But if you are in synch with the rest of the lot, you will be more comfortable


2) Conversely, on bad or crowded roads – go slow. As slow as is necessary


3) Don’t overtake wrong side. Sounds simple, but the temptation will be there to do so. Avoid it! That is how accidents happen.{This is especially for highways}


4) Don’t try to pass cars if you are a biker. Sounds ridiculous, but is a fact. I have learnt to fear carwaalaas like death itself over these past 10 years! Reason is that you never know what is in front – and a car is liable to cut you off or pass you again immediately afterwards – which is deadly dangerous. Allow bikes to pass if you are a car!


5) Prefer to ride at night. Fact – the traffic is extremely streamlined. Most accidents happen during the day! AND – if you are a biker- carwaalaas usually keep off the road at night!


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