Not for my ears!!!!!!!!. Review on Five Worst Singers of Bollywood

'Sur na saje, kya gaoon main'- I wonder why a legend like Manna Dey sung these lines! In my opinion, these lines were meant for 5 of the singers about whom am going to write in the coming lines(Well, except 1 of them). This is my first review in the worst category and am sure that majority won't agree with the choices. Some may even say that if I consider them among worst singers, I don't know about music. Well music is a very deep ocean and every one likes few drops from it.

Being a music crazy, music plays a very important role in my life. While listening to a Gurdas Maan song early morning can make sure am happy for rest of the day, listening to any song I don't like may make me feel bad, have an head ache or even tense. Some say I am very choosy when it comes to music . Perhaps I am, but when I can get the best, why will I settle for average or below average?

Well this passion of music of mine have been like an headache for my family and friends, as whenever any song which I can't listen comes to television or radio, I have to either change the channel or go out . I really can't help it. Am not going to name the singers and anyone can guess them easily, reason being that am sure the choices will raise many eye brows and hence the review may sound rude for some, which I don't want to happen. But please understand that am not an expert to say that they are bad singers.

Please understand that these are the worst singers FOR MY EARS. Still to show that am not that extremist, am naming my personal favourite song of each of these 5 singers. The hints are very easy and am sure all of you will get ALL 5 names and also am sure NO ONE will agree with #4!

5. Who is better among them? The actor or the singer?

A very ordinary singer who couldn't make his name into Hindi cinema. So the way he chose was to become voice of one of the most famous actors of all time. This actor is highly over rated and some rate him the best actor e-e-e-e-ver. Most of the songs by this singer are sung in hinjabi(song sung using words of both Punjabi and Hindi) . And I have never liked non Punjabi singers trying to play with my mother tongue, as they simply can't do justice to it's beauty. Well if one looks at the career of this singer, hardly any good song can be found and he is just famous for being voice of this particular actor, *Decades ago Mukesh was known as voice of Raj Kapoor but to compare these 2 will be like comparing Don Bradman with Courtney Walsh{obviously I mean in batting}( Those who agree with Milind, replace Bradman with Viv Richards).

• My request: Singing is not your cup of tea, please pack up, and it will be even better if you can take your'face' along with you.

Personal favourite song: When a punjaban stole her heart and went away

4.  Srk of music?

This man belongs to my own Punjab, and I have respect for him as he really don't belong to this category.He has total control over melody and deserves to be counted among the best. However I have some reasons for including him here. Once he was a very versatile singer and has some of the most melodious songs in Punjabi. However he entered Hindi music and is now known as Ghazal king, Most of youngsters are mad for him and loves listening to him, perhaps to'showoff' that how romantic they are .For decades he has been singing in same way. His singing is like if some one is reading a book. When one sings ghazals you will often notice singers giving more importance to certain words and sing some words loudly or slowly so as to express the feelings of words more effectively . But this singer just sings every word in same way. In my opinion he is trying to be a shadow of himself, like Shah Rukh Khan, And as people liked him in this style, he is too afraid to come out of this shell.

My request: Please be more versatile, I know you are great, but I need a change.

Personal favourite song: When he compared today's times with the time of his childhood, remembring what his mother told him .

3. Talent? Where is it?

He is a perfect example of how we Indians are always impressed with people who have foreign tag with them . People say he is talented, but somehow I have never seen the talent. *If there is any chemical equation proving that'talent' is directly proportional to'body mass', then surely he is very talented. *Known as world's fastest(?) piano player, this man has quickly become very popular in India. But according to me his voice is as good that of like a donkey( I hope any donkey don't read this, otherwise he will die of shame) . He has no talent as far as singing goes and sometimes he is even worse than the singer at # 1!

My request: Please stop singing and start wrestling, for India.

Personal favourite song: When he requested god to'lift' him .(Well god sure needs to be very strong to lift him.)

2.  I wonder what'inspired' him to sing, perhaps it was'made in India' girl

One of the most famous music directors of last 15 years . I am fan of him as a music director, but as a singer! Please help my ears! His voice is like if a micro phone is giving nothing else but noise. Or sometimes he seems like 3-4 crows singing at same time . And worst is that whenever he sings, he makes sure that the music is very loud . Sone pe Suhaga! No wonder that my least favourite song has been sung by him .

My request: Please stop singing and do what you do best: get'inspiration' from music of others .

Personal favourite song:When he praised black eyes and white(I think they are black) cheeks of Mrs. Dave Gun

1. Rebirth of Mohd. Rafi? Please give me a break!

Well here comes the real hero. He is the most famous singer of nowadays. Such is his dominance that every 3 songs out of 4 you will listen on'vividh bharti', will be sung by him.Perhaps that's the reason I rarely listen to radio nowadays. I have no problem with him when he sings calmly. But the problem is that he rarely sings calmly! Most of times he tries too hard to be melodious and thus becomes intolerable for me. That times it seems like if he is weeping instead of singing. The pitch of his voice straight way hits my head and I just can't listen to him for more than few seconds!

I once rephrased a popular song by him:

Kaan ke parhde na fat jaayen sambhaalo yaaro

ro raha . .

mushkilon main hai badan

My request: You have tried to be a hero . If you promise to stop singing, I promise to watch each and every movie of yours, first day first show.

Personal favourite song:When a girl hit him with bullet using her eye .

Am sorry if I hurted anyone with my choice as I know I have included some of the most liked names.