Worst five. Review on Five Worst Reviewers on MouthShut

I had suggested to MouthShut (through their MouthPad feature) to include the topic “Five Worst Reviewers on MouthShut”.

Friends, yesterday I had written about the “Five Worst Actors of Bollywood” and had disturbed the equanimity of some people by listing Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan, Ajay Devgan, Hritik Roshan, and Shahrukh Khan in it.

Now, it is the turn of certain reputed members of MouthShut to be included in this list. I am very sure that a war, as huge in size and intent is going to erupt on the site. So before my head rolls, please be ready to know the degenerate lot. Many will think I am using words that cross all levels of exaggeration, but believe me that is the effect that their reviews have on me.

The reason why I put these members (who are so often honored by MouthShut) is that they lack the basic requirement of good review writing, i.e. command over the language, clarity of thought, neutrality of judgment, entertainment value, so and so forth. I am not going to include people who are already deemed worthless by their so-called peers. So, in this list you will not find imran, satis, drshafique and others of their ilk. I am very new to this site but have been regularly reading reviews so as to form an opinion (an honest one).

So here explodes the bomb.

Koshish

Ah! I love to hate her. She is the epitome of bad review writing – sluggish in thought and prose, incoherent usage of sentences, inclusion of too many personal biases, and above all – the way she uses “Hai Rabba” drives me crazy. Quoting some of her priceless gems here:

“Movie is basically about somebody is after Tanisha for some reason. First the sister dies, teacher dies, mom dies, (way too many) friends die in an island, and then the police dies ( who were actually there to help her) but the Lover a.k.a HERO…so even after getting shot _ he is of course still alive to save his “Heroine”.

Ask koshish to actually get her writing published on a paid forum. Chances are she will not be even sent a rejection note.

Cousin2

“Et tu thebiggeststar,” she is bound to ask me, especially since she rated my previous review on MouthShut highly. Many of her reviews are copied (I’m sure she is bound to deny this), and monotonous in tone.

ProfBBMohanty

He is a senior guy and has written some hundreds of reviews on MouthShut.com. But pray, when did quantity be known as a synonym for quality? His reviews are very sluggish and reek of boredom. I believe that he has not written on the site for quite some time. Good for him and good for us.

Rekh

Probably one of the biggest cynics on the site. Rekh’s dictum seems to be “West is the best, east is the rest”. No wonder her reviews trash anything that is remotely Indian, be it Bollywood, television, or books. She packs in a lot of ATTITUDE in her reviews. Alas, she wears her attitude like an ill-fitting under-garment. A great talent gone waste. Her review on “God on Small Things” is rubbish. There is so much of personal biases involved in writing that review.

MouthShutdotcom

Considered to be the master of Bollywood by many of his chamchas (all idiots), MouthShutdotcom is a Pakistani by origin and it shows. The language in his reviews is usually worse than koshish’s. He writes prolifically (all bad writers on MS do so and think they’re kings) but what comes out is a body of work badly disfigured and mutilated.

I know that this review is going to create a bad taste in the mouth, but who cares as long as this mouth utters nothing but the truth.