Useless Buggers. Review on Five Worst Cars

Maybach 57 and 62

This behemoth costs three times as much as a top-of-the-line Merc S-Class, and though you can choose between grand nappa or nubuck leather interiors, the Mayback looks like it was dreamt up by a Korean ad-executive, ably assisted by two colleagues from marketing. Never was a 550 horsepower V12 wasted thus.

Porsche Cayenne

Take one perfectly good 911. Hack, chop and squash the bodywork(with a blindfold on). Once you're done, raise the car's ride-height by a foot and a half. And bingo! you have the Cayenne! This disgraceful off-roader vilifies the Porsche name, period.

Renault Vel Satis

Renault's alternative to your everyday German and Japanese luxury saloons looks like it was put together in dyselexic's backyard using bits and pieces from random American and Japanese discards. Reverse-chic? Functional design? New-age handsome? We think it's just plain ugly. And oh, it's unsettling ride and barge-like handling makes it the worst of both worlds. All together now:'Down with the Vel Satis.!'

Lancia Thesis

Bigger than a Merc E-Class or a BMW 5-series, about as ugly as the Renault Vel Satis and more cramped for space than a Suzuki Swift(well, almost.), this has to be one of the most pointless cars ever made. And this from a company that used to make the Integrale and the Stratos cars. How the mighty have fallen.

BMW Z4

Could this be the zed.er, dead end for BMW? Flames looked good painted on 1960s American dragsters, but BMW's'flame surfacing' just makes for grotesque-looking cars. First the new 7-series, and now this. What's with BMW these days? What went wrong? Why on earth can't they stick to building exquisitely raunchy sportscars like the M3.?!