It was a warm Sunday afternoon in July for the rest of the world, ignoring the fact that the world is round. My reference comes here in respect to the current time zone which is 5:30 Hrs from GMT. Not warm enough for the two, Ganesh Bhakta (GB) and Davie Bhakta (DB), For these two have been trekking on the Himalayas for their quest to find out about the worst actors.
For any normal humans , Like Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norway (If H2S3D says they are normal, they are normal) , This is a much accomplished feat, scaling the everest. Since, our life time achievement was fulfilled when we have been enlightened by His Holiness Sri Sri Sri Doss (H2S3D). Gb and Db have come to a belief that even Mossad should get the commando training from the Ants, owing to their co-ordination and sync in their (ants) operations.
So GB and DB set of on their Journey to the Himalayas. Chill winds in July ( hey this is my review!!! anything is possible ) blowing from the Everest , we took our trekking gear, and set of the scale the highest peak. In Less than a day we came across a house half way up the Everest(Remember this is my review, anything is possible).
We enter this house, and push the calling bell, But no one responds. “Bhaktas , I have been Waiting for you” , came a familiar voice from a little more than a few yards. We looked back , and we See H2S3D in deep meditation. We rush to this spot, and our Guruji spoke, “GB, I know that you have had a long sleep before you embarked on this journey.”
GB: Guruji, you are great , how did you know about the sleep.
H2S3D: GB, I read 1500 magazines per month and 10 newspapers a day. I know everything. I even know why you have come here. DB , I know why you have come here. Anger is not the solutions to your problems. I will help you in keeping your temper down. ”
DB: Guruji, Aap Mahan Ho.
H2S3D: But I also know the common purpose you are here. To find out about the Worst actors.
( bhaktas fall the feet of guruji. )
GB and DB saying together : Guruji, Please help us.
H2S3D: DB, I know from my ESP that you dont like Mithun.
DB: Guruji , you never fail to amaze me.
H2S3D: An ant told me once.
GB: You mean an Ant , Guruji. ?
H2S3D: Yes GB, An ant. I can feel the heart beats of the ant, by retaining the Ant between my fingers. The ants heart beats tranfer and synchronizes with my heart beats. In this process I have known that Ants are sensitive to loud noise.
DB: But Guruji, How is that relating to Mithunda
H2S3D: DB, Oh ye of little Faith. Have you lost your trust in your guru. Mithunda is loud mouthed. All he ever does is shout his lines. He thinks his audience is deaf or something. But the ants , they are sensitive to such things.
DB: OH guruji, thou Art great.
GB: Guruji what about ,...........
H2S3D: Rajnikanth... GB is that what you want to Ask.
GB is flabbergasted
H2S3D: You see, Rajni Kanth is better of in Tamil Movies. In Hindi movies, the ants dont understand what He is trying to say. Either he can shoot a cigarette and light it but the very fact is trying to get in hindi dialogues in south accent is intolerable for the ants.
GB looking at guruji as if the whole world in its deepest mysteries has been revealed to him.
H2S3D: Now we come to Hrithik Roshan. He has great talent.You see HK can do better , because he is a good dancer. But he fails to carry and deliver what the mass expects from him. You see, if I can spend a month or two with him, He can do wonders with his talent.
GB and DB look at each other in anticipation and nod in agreement.
H2S3D: you see, there is no doubt about his talent , what he lacks is a mentor like me. And besides, He is so tall, and he can barely see the ants. He may crush them under his feet.
GB: what about Bobby Deol.
H2S3D closes his eyes for a really long time. His param Bhaktas can take this gesture as he doesnt want to talk about it. But then He opens his eyes
H2S3D: Bhaktas , Bobby deol, I havent heard him say any dialogue in any of the movies I have seen. He can pass off easily in any Holly wood star .. if he has perfected in English american accent. Ants have taken an aversion to him because of his long hair. Ants fail to know wether he is crying or laughing. anger is the only emotion he knows that that he delivers as if ants have taken a bite out of him.
DB: Guruji, I Want to know about Afthab.
H2S3D: He is better off wearing diapers for Farex. I can say that he shouldnt have grown up at all. He should have remained a baby and played with the ants.
You see, Afthab should work more on his dance, and dialogue delivery. He acts as if no one is watching him. But He doesnt know that the ants are always there, They are everywhere.
He should work more on his looks. If he remains a sweet Farex baby in the movies too , then ants may take a commando force and take him away.
DB: Guruji, Thats all what we wanted to know about Actors.
H2S3D: I shall resume my meditation my dear bhaktas. In the mean time both of you take rest. Sometime later we shall talk about the Worst actresses. GB, you take a nice long sleep for you are perturbed by the damn the spam.
