And the award goes to. Review on Five Worst Actors of Bollywood Movies

FORE WORD:- Some portion of this review may or may not be derogatory or in sync with the conventional language that we are accustomed to. Reader discretion is required.I have put down my list and THIS IS NOT A GENERALIZED OPINION.

At the horrendous hair tear awards, 5 actors were contending for the coveted award of the worst actor

Shahrukh '' stutter'' khan : he.. he friends, don't you think I deserve the award. I agree I was pathetic in phillums like guddu, ram jaane trimurti and hordes of others but in big big places such small small things keep happening. Look I can cry like a crocodile (Mohabatein and K3G), fight like gladiator(asoka , karan arjun) not to mention sing like a raven (Josh ) .Look, I can pass off as a college boy (DTPH & K2H2) though I am much older. People drool when I run for 5 minutes with that irritating trademark music as a backdrop. (La la laa laa laa la). AND I have loads of attitude doesn't that make me the strongest contender.

While considering my credentials for the worst actor, guys please ignore my movies with kajol. These movies were the only hitch in my not getting universal recognition as the worst actor.

Govinda ''the virar freak'' :- Sharukh! What on earth makes you think that you are the worst actor. You can't take that credit away from me. I am hero no. zero. I can dance on a khatiya wearing my purple s_ _ _ pants and orange shirt. I can make my emotional scenes look hilarious by sporting my zillion dollar smile.( swarg) I can wear my smile while dancing, crying and comedy too. It is because of Mr. David (Dhawan) I have been given the title of entertainer no. 1, and I hate him for that. Otherwise nobody can dispute the fact that I am the worst. Look, people called me poor mans Mithun ( though he is a strong contender himself for this award)before the David phenomenon happened. If you don't confer this title upon me I will start entertaining you with my dancing thrusts and also make you believe that I am the best dancer.

Hrithik 'Yo-Yo'ie flexibility personified roshan :- hey, govinda your reign as the worst actor is over. I am the worst phenomenon that has happened to the hindi film industry since sliced bread. The only thing good about me is my biceps. Don’t believe me. Look at Kaho na pyar hai. I can be so unconvincing as a terrorist. ( Even when I am playing a terrorist I need to have a 5 minutes montage scene to flaunt my muscles and my equine feats- Fiza). My lachrymal glands have been put to test in K3G. Why do people say that I am a nine day wonder, when I can dance my way to the audience's hearts in more than nine films. But acting, lesser said the better.

Akshay kumar and Sunil shetty in unison:- Shahrukh, govinda, hrithik, worst actors ......?

AK the stunt master :-I am the undisputed khiladi of bollywood , so what If I can display my histrionics better in martial arts. Girls drool over me, agreed but I am the paragon of hamming.(Dhadkan, Sangharsh)Can there be a comparison between Anthony Hopkins and me?. Khiladi is out of form now and that makes me the best choice for the worst actor.

SS the log of wood :- Why am I getting so many meaty roles which reinforce the fact that I am a beefcake, nothing more.(Dhadkan, Baaz etc)I can’t act for nuts. Look at my romantic scenes. You can make out from the expression on the faces of the female leads in my movies. Perennial torture....

Thus spake the dignitaries......

Some actors where conspicuous by their absence . Had they graced the occasion the five actors mentioned above would have had a tough time. The reasons for their absence are as follows.

Salman 'topless' khan:- Has landed himself up in some controversy.

Tushar 'deadpan' kapoor:- Has again gone to a numerologist( wants to add a K to his first name perhaps) after debacles like Kuch to hai and kya dil ne kaha.

Chandrachur 'wooden' singh:- Has become very famous in 'camp' circles because of his looks. His Maachis failed to emit a spark and his career has been going downhill since then.

Sanjay kapoor, Jugal hansraj, Chunkey pandey, Arshad warsi and Uday chopra:- These endangered species have either become extinct or are on the verge of extinction.

Dino Morea:- Has gone to attend a conference of scientists researching on Darwin's theory of evolution. He alone can authenticate the fact that man has originated from apes.On the acting front its zilch.

AFTERWORD:- comments welcome. Not just good bad or ugly but why good why bad why ugly. pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee