Bad to Baddest to Worse to Worst. Review on Five Worst Actors of Bollywood Movies

''You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order — order out of chaos. But we will.''

--George W. Bush ,Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003

5 worst actors did u say?

In an industry where actors are being launched like nukes on Iraq, obviously some civilians who take the risk to watch them also have the utter misfortune of seeing some of them land on their head. How they manage to survive it and then go through it all over again amazes me. I am one of them too. Innumerable times have I watched Hindi movies in the anticipation of seeing some good actor, and every time I get a crushing blow on my senses and remind myself –”Your expectations of actors are as stupid as expecting Dinesh Mongia to save the day for India!” Nonetheless, here is what I think of the coterie of actors who do everything in this world, but act. I wont name just five, but I will put my actors in a list of type of actors – didn’t get it – don’t bother – read on!

--> Those Who CAN act, but DON’T

This is a miserable group. You know they can act good if they want to, but more often than not they make absolute fools of themselves. Prime examples are his honor Govinda and Mithun Chakravarthy. Two people with good potential to act, but simply waste their time in making inane movies like “Sanyasia mera naam”, “Truck Driver Suraj”, “Chalo Ishq Ladaye” and all. Govinda was decent for a time, but of late, he is as bad as rotten egg, while Mithun seems to have gone as stiff has a rotten Baingan. Avoid…Avoid, please!

--> Those who CANNOT act, but Pretend They CAN

The guys in this group are extremely funny. Somehow the actors in this group feel that they are doing the role of their lifetimes, when in fact, all they have succeeded in doing is making a complete mock of themselves. Ever seen John Abraham in Jism? I kept feeling throughout that he assumed he was playing tom cruise and actually carried himself like that in the movie!!! (not that Tom Cruise is such a good actor either). Others in this band also include his highness of Punjab Bobby Deol. He launched himself like a Junglee in Barsaat, and god knows he seems to have washed away in that rain. I wonder why his bade Papa doesn’t tell him – “beta, your acting capabilities are as bad or worse than Anna Nicole Smith”. Still others include the jumping jack Jeetendra senior, and of course Bade Papa of Punjab himself. According to me both were worse than each other!

--> Those who CAN act, but NOT in the RIGHT movies

I always consider such a group a disaster. Simply put people in such a coterie are generally dumb witted morons who never got through their 2nd grade classes. One such prime example is the third angle of the trilogy of Deol Saga – the bumper bump Sunny Deol. He acted (shouted) pretty well in his earlier movies. But when he lost his Zor at the box office, Sunny became even more Ziddi and continued doing films like Gadar, thereby making himself a Kurze to the nation. The sound modulators in his neck seem to be misplaced by several decibels – giving a thundering feel to an acoustic setting. Imagine it – its simply awe(ful). Other honorable mentions also include Abhishek Bachchan who is reasonably tolerable until he lifts his left leg. He almost looks like leaning tower of Pisa who may crash any moment unless the other feet manage to hold him.

--> Those who are CONSINTENLY CONSISTENT

I hate such group of actors too. I am simply amazed by their skills as to doing something so consistently in each of their movies. One person who comes to my mind immediately is Jackie Shroff - I am yet to see that guy play a ‘character’. Its always him, be it Police Sena, Dakoo in Mission Kashmir, the desperate look on his face never changes. His acting skills are dead as dodo. But somehow, I am amazed as to how this guy ticks along as well. Last heard, he entered a collaboration with Mithun – The deal is Jackie gets to rape a girl Mithun loves in one movie – and the role reverse occurse every movie thence – Both souls live happily in that arrangement. Except of course the Junta.

--> Those who CANNOT ACT...Period

Isn’t this group lovely. At least the actors in this group don’t show promise of ever acting well in near future. They are bad actors and that’s about what you can say about them. First of course is Hrithik Roshan, who apparently has needs some serious roshni on his acting skills – He is so pathetic that even pigs will have superiority complex. But he is not alone in front of which pigs should be happy – he is joined by the ever honorable Sanjay Kapoor – He is bad, badder, baddest, worse, worser, wors-sest than any body else. Jumping Jack junior Tushar is no better – if his father was torture enough, he is a monster of a torture. Salman Khan enjoys this company too – somebody needs to tell him that a 40 year old saggy muscular body doesn’t arouse even gays – forget females. Can he act? Ha ha.

That’s just about whom I think are the worst actors in Bollywood. Now you may say – pray who is good then? I can write another review on it, so you people got to wait till I write that one down.

Have I missed somebody – somebody who takes the cake and eats it all – who has the bell around his neck and rings it well – who is worse than all of them above. Any guesses?

If you guessed it right – GREAT!!! – We probably think alike! If you didn’t check the comments!

''I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here.''

--George W. Bush speaking at the President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002