Five Point Someone = Trash. Review on Five Point Someone - Chetan Bhagat

Before I begin my review, I will briefly discuss the atoms and molecules of a typical IIT student. This would serve as a yardstick to measure the integrity and originality of the author, who himself is an IIT graduate. It requires a small portion of lunacy to get through the IIT entrance test. Aspirants during their time at school must study for at least twelve hours daily just to get that feeling of being superior from the rest. Some study fewer hours but they make up the lost time while bathing or shaving if not at the study table. It would be worthwhile to remind the intelligent Commerce or Arts student who may be reading my review that there are things a student cannot afford to miss while at school. Music, basketball, stage plays, painting contest, or even a love affair is a necessary indulgence; they may not help in scoring good marks but they help in shaping one’s personality, something that would be used rigorously for a lifetime no matter where one sits or stands, in a big office or a crammed departmental store. Psychologists have proven that people who are excellent in studies often suffer from a disease – cunningness – that also happens to be widespread in schools and colleges worldwide. It is just a guess, nevertheless a calculated one that Chetan Bhagat might not have experienced any of the ideas he had written.

What gives an uncomfortable jolt to the reader is the lack of depth in his narrative. In an interview that appeared in the Hindustan Times, he remarked comically that he does not know the English language and he does not gives a penny to the importance of a good prose, style and tone. He wants his story to serve a point; it does not matter what kind of words he should use to do it. But it was not just a tactful comment to lighten the mood of a hostile interviewer because by saying so, he had accidentally acknowledged his shortcomings. No writer will abuse the tools of writing. Bhagat did.

There are books and there are books that deal with issues – worthwhile or not – that barely last two winks. Some call it modern writing; I call it trash. By the nature of the work, journalists often publish books on subjects that correspond with the headlines of the day, and the books are like newspapers stuffed inside a hardcover. But their materials serve a real purpose, the way that unexpected information is revealed to the public. Then there are the organisms who call themselves writers, who in fact are drifters in search of a way to buy a seat in the auditorium of original men and women of letters. Human suffering is their favourite hunting ground where they mix with the victims to finally mock the predicament of the unfortunates in their cheap publications. Five Point Someone, a fiction by Chetan Bhagat, I believe is one such publication.

It tells a story about three students of the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT), Delhi, who were average scorers in a place where nothing but the best is demanded. Then they ran into trouble because they were not as competent as the general population of IIT, and to numb the pain they started doing things other than studies; music, vodka, grass, girls and daydreams took their time until the final year when they tired to steal test papers at night from the building and were caught. The rest is history.

Well, there are better stories about student life out there. I don’t recommend anybody to read this one. Five Point Someone has nothing new; it would please your senses more if you take a walk with your neighbour’s son who stays in a boarding school at some hill station. His would be better, interesting, and free from lies and cooked up adventures! Also, his would be more touching and truthful. The conclusion of Five Point Someone is that one can only survive in IIT if one does not experiment during one’s best time of life. Those who have been told that the book offers other lessons as well were plainly taken for a ride. The good reader will know how the narrative tries desperately to catch attention like a poor clown.

Chetan Bhagat tried to import the aura of a conventional college into IIT so that people would believe IITians are selfless, friendly, not-so-cunning, not-so-studious and not-so-intelligent cohort. In doing so, he has disgraced real life IITians. The main characters – Hari, Alok, Ryan – are far too fictitious that they are off the genre itself. I suspect Bhagat have met some people from Doon School or DPS or another reputed boarding school and heard tales from them and then made up his mind to mix a cocktail of that. Ignoring books, cheating in examination, sacrificing oneself for such an absurd thing as a friend and listening to Pink Floyd twenty-four hours are not the territory of an IITian. The absence of sentiment and the supremacy of objectivity is what make an IITian’s character unique, and that is the only way to stay on the top. But the author has done more harm by putting perspective to where it does not belong. Five Point Someone, the story if told in the backdrop of St.Stephen’s college or SRCC would be more truthful. What a clumsy step it is to write lies under the guise of fiction! What a shame it is to lay claim to property that belongs to others! Hemingway had said: “Write about what you know, for not all readers are ignorant.”

The author will go a long way if he makes original characters instead of canned sardines. We need sensible writers, but not an opportunist who cash in on the vicissitudes of the youth world to make a quick buck and live it off under a false sense of pride and accomplishment. I thought writers of this kind are confined to the noisy, polluted suburbs of the west, but one look at Five Point Someone shattered my belief. It will shatter yours too. As far as I know, the author has taken hold of his next victim: call centre employees. Who will be next is anybody’s guess. If he thinks he can win the hearts of naïve readers by making fun under their very nose, he cannot be more wrong. And it is not in his capacity to understand the meaning or use of satire. Five Point Someone will leave you poorer by ninety-five rupees. I recommend you to have a combo meal with that instead of making him rich, or read something else. Somerset Maugham, Joseph Heller, Harper Lee, Vikram Seth, A House for Mr.Biswas, Life of Pi, for example.