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5 Best Hindi Movies that flopped *Sob*
May 16, 2003 02:34 PM 8407 Views
(Updated May 16, 2003 02:54 PM)

1) Yaadein


Isha (Kareena) India's best cyclist meets Ronit (Hrithik) and after a disagreement haughtily (Being haughty must've been so natural for her) decides to go to Malaysia's dangerous Tuba island.(pronounced as too-baa. Its a Subash Ghai term for Too Bad). Never saw an aerial scene of it but I guess its tub shaped.


Kareena gets stuck in the island where 'Bhayanak Khatarnaak Jaanwar' (Extremely dangerous animals) are present. The dangerous animal is an Alligator who comes slowly towards our dear heroine. Next scene, she has fainted and is on a tree branch (Maybe the alligator took a bite and threw her there). Hrithik rescues her from the tree and since the engine of his boat has failed, puts her on the boat and swims the dangerous waters..pushing the boat all the while. What a romantic scene. What courage. Shows what Love can achieve. Sob


When I saw the alligator I too was scared and was worried for Kareena. But my friend who's from Louisiana laughed. Alligator meat is a delicacy there (American MS members will vouch for it). He said that if he were in place of Hrithik, he'd eat the alligator on a nice barbecue and spend the night with the lovely lass on the desolate island. I gave him an angry look. Such a suspenseful scene reduced to humour by him ?


Also watch Jackie play guitar easily and beautifully by just lifting the guitar up and down...up and down. Carlos Santana turned in his grave for sure.


Another major highlight of this movie is the 'Eli Rey Eli' song with three women jumping and dancing wrapped in towels.


To get revenge on someone..put him in a room with the movie on. Trust me, he will be asking for Mukti (release) from this Mukta Arts movie. The movie was released with the title 'Yaadein - Memories to Cherish'. It's definitely a nightmare you won't forget.


And if you start hating me now, please eat 'Pass Pass'. It brings people together like the characters in the movie say. Why wasn't this superb movie a hit I ask thee ?


2. All Mithun Movies


Each and every Mithun movie should be a hit.


His hip rocking, leg stretching dances to Bappi's tunes are better than the hip-shaking of Elvis, the (self edited) grabbing of Michael & the hand raising of Travolta.


His movies are educational too.Like Madhuri's Ek Do Teen taught many school kids to count in Hindi, Mithun's D for Disco, I for Item taught many people important English alphabets and words.


In 'Watan ke Rakhwale' Mithun escapes from jail by climbing up a 60 feet wall without any webfeet. Compare that to Spiderman, who had to practise a lot of web-spinning before he could even climb a 10 feet wall. Humph.


Mithun's dialogues are great.'Aapun ka naam hai Hira, Aapun ney subko Chira'. (My name is Hira, I've split everyone).He says this when he kills two gangsters with one bullet by holding a knife in one hand and firing a single bullet at it. Thereby the bullet splits into two and kills the two gangsters. Applause.


Its said that even Jyoti Basu, Bengal's Long Lasting Chief Minister wanted to honour Mithunda by naming Calcutta Station as Disco Station. What fun would it have been for people to catch a Disco Express....from Mumbai to Calcutta. No more fights in the train for seats. Just pure hip movements and disco dances. Sigh


So all Mithun's movies are truly B(Best)-grade movies and deserve to be hits.


3. Manoj Kumar's Clerk or any of his movies.


Like a bank camera watching your moves, Manoj Kumar glances at every actor/actress in his movies with a side glance.


Whenever I see Manoj's Kranti movie with the wonderful song 'Mera chana hai apni marzi ka' I start crying, throw away the popcorn and start eating chana (peanuts). My tears cease only when in the same song, Dream Girl Hema Malini drenched, hands tied behind by rope, manages to snake her way towards Manoj Kumar who is about to be hanged...using her....(Hands are tied behind, stupid). Forget it. This song makes me feel so patriotic.


But Clerk is his best movie which sadly was watched by only the theatre usherers.They later staged a strike protesting that besides low pay, the theatre management is torturing them by showing the movie. They don't know what a great movie they really protested against.


In 'Clerk' Ashok Kumar is dying after a massive heart attack. His son Manoj is unable to get a doctor to treat him. Manoj then remembers that his father had been a war veteran who had fought alongside Netaji.So Manoj plays a patriotic song on a bedside player and Ashok Kumar's life is saved. He is marching fit.


I'm overwhelmed with emotions at this scene and always play this movie if I have unwanted guests. They all march out after this scene. Thank you Bharat Alias Manoj Kumar. Your movies should be big hits.


4. Any Ramsay Movie.


All Halloween masks after halloween are exported to the studio's of the Ramsay brothers.


Ramsay's are India's experts in horror movies. Every movie of theirs chills me to the bone. I watch the movies cuddled up in a blanket, through an eye peeking between two fingers. Imagine seeing a man wearing a halloween India rubber mask coming towards you laughing loudly. Isn't that scary ?


The names of their movies itself strike fear into me with names like 'Sannata' (Silence), 'Shaitani ilaka' (Demonic Alley/Area) etc.


But many times I pity the poor guy who must've had to keep switching lights on and off..on and off for the entire movie during the shooting to create lightning effects. Hope the Ramsay's paid him well :-(


I've heard many kids have stopped watching Cartoon Network and have started watching these movies instead. Its much funnier they say.


The only thing I hate about their movies are the poorly clad women. They simply take one's mind off the terrifying demons on the screen with their unwanted flesh show. Though sometimes that flesh show is much scarier than the monsters themselves.


Their background score consists of ear-piercing screams of women, loud laughter, claps of thunder and ringing of temple bells. I made a recording of their score, stripped off the high notes using a music software and re-recorded it in ultrasonic frequency. I play the recording every night and have never been troubled by any pests in all these years. Thank you Ramsay's.


5. Dev Anand's Censor and other directed movies.


Dev Anand in his own words once said that he makes movies which are 20 years ahead in story and thought and sometimes are based on current topics too. Watching his current topic movies will make you rush for the nearest topical ointment/balm. Great movies all.


In Censor, Dev Saab thought 'ahead of time' so this movie has 16 (no printing mistake here) stars each making brief appearances. So you can imagine the wonderful script of this movie.


He plays the role of a filmmaker whose film is in trouble with the censor board. He then has to move from court to court trying to get his movie released without any cuts. Wow..what a story, what a theme.


His movies are a sure cure for insomnia. Watch the first few scenes and you'll be asleep in a jiffy. But do it only in weekends else you'll miss your office/college.


He also confidently states that his movies will win an Oscars someday. His next movie based on Ravi Shankar's Daughter Norah Jones will win a Grammy, as per his own words. Dev Saab I'm with you. Cheers.


x ----------------- x ------------------- x


I hope you like my list. Please do watch any of the above listed movies and you'll wholesomely agree with my views.


And if you disagree and poorly rate my suggestions I shall approach Dev Anand Sahab to make a movie 'Low Ratings in Mouthshut' :-(


Each member amongst the hundreds will get a small role within the movie though ;-)


Ciao,


Shailesh


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