Nov 01, 2003 10:22 PM
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(Updated Nov 03, 2003 11:04 AM)
REQUEST: I TRIED TO FIND AN APPROPRIATE CATEGORY UNDER WHICH I COULD PLACE THIS REVIEW/WRITEUP. PLEASE HELP ME IN FINDING AN APPROPRIATE CATEGORY.
'Blame it on Someone Else'
How many times have you felt helpless for being unable to blame somebody for something that went wrong?
How many times have you been foolish enough to accept blame/responsibility for something you have not done?
How many times have you been brave enough to accept your share of mistakes when you actually did it?
We will obviously not start right away, blaming our culture or ideologies in life, for this'blame it on someone else' attitude in life.
Let us try to understand why a person develops this habit. The origins can be traced back to early childhood when the parents force their decisions on children. The parents, obviously, do not wish anything bad for their children, but they are not God and things can still go wrong for them. When something does go wrong, the child finds it easy to put the lame on his/her parents, knowing that they did not take the decision about it.
This cycle keeps repeating in the name of culture, values, parents and elders being always right, parents and elders being better informed and experienced, etc. With time, the habit builds up and people loose their ability to take independent decisions. Also, since they have never taken decisions in their life before, when they are put in a situation where they have to take decisions on their own, they usually take bad decisions.
This habit builds on to the point where they start finding scapegoats. They loose their pride and courage to accept the responsibility of some actions or decisions made by them. Also, because there is always someone else to make decisions for them, people just loose the ability to take decisions.
Parents and elders should keep their dignity by making suggestions and providing information that would help a person in taking decision. Neither the decisions should be made for an individual nor should they be forced upon an individual.
An analogy would help in understanding it better. Everybody enjoys the beauty of blooming like parents adore their children. These flowers are eaten up by animals, blown away by harsh winds, stepped upon, plucked, destroyed but they bloom again.
Imagine, if we tried to save the beauty of these flowers for eternity by preserving all of them. In the next season, we would have no flowers at all because.there were no seeds because there were no fruits, and there were no fruits because all flowers were preserved.
The beauty is in the courage to see these flowers wither away this time and see them bloom again in the next season, maybe, more beautifully than ever before.
