Welcome to the train, which will stop at only five stations, and will save a lot of your valuable time, get aboard in rahul_jour Express. The train will leave in two minutes therefore I would like to request all the passengers from Platform 5 to take their seats and wait for the TC to come. (after waiting for ten minutes)…sorry for the delay, our TC, RAHUL, has not arrived yet.
(Chaos in train)…platform 5
Ajay Devgan – ek baat kahun, kya deri se chalna zaroori hai.
Shahrukh Khan – heyyyyy…I don’t love this Kiran oh sorry I have been saying Kiran for so long that now I have forgotten my wife’s name even.
Anil Kapoor – one two ka four, four two ka one my name is (Ram) Lakhan, you can call me Mr. India as well.
Amir Khan – abey sub chod ke dhawa bol. Train mein chadh aur apna lagaan le coolei.
(that very moment train starts and TC comes in)
Shahrukh – kaun kambakht paiso ke liye filmo mein kaam karta hai, main to bollywood mein kaam karta hun ki pehla rank paun, per dekho mujhe 5th rank diya hai judges ne.
Anil – main Mr. India bun kar gayab kya hua, judges ne mujhe bhi 5th rank per la kar patak diya.
Amir – same here, mein Angrezo ke sath CRICKET khel raha tha, aur judges ne mujhe run out kar diya. Or dekho ab mein 5th rank par aa kar gira.
Ajay – (near window) jhonka hawa ka aaj bhi…
TC – ticket nikalo sub, aur yahan per one two ka four kiya to jail ki hawa khani padegi samjhe….5th platform milna bhi garv ki baat hai aur tum sab moo latka ke baithe ho.
Amir – mere sath hi kyon hua ye, maine Bollywood ko Lagaan di, Ghulam-o ko azad karaya. Qayamat se qayamat tak is desh ki janta ka sath diya. Dil chahta hai train se abhi kood padun.
Shahrukh – mere bare main socho, Paheli ko solve karte karte mein Devdas bun gaya. Is dil mein bhi kuch kuch hota hai, lekin yaro koi baat nahi kaha bhi gaya hai kabhi khushi kabhi gham.
Anil – jub main 1st platform par jane laga to mujhe NO ENTRY ka board dhikaya judges ne. Lagta hai sub bhool gaye wo saat din, when I did my wife’s murder and fled to Sholagarh for the shooting of Lamhe.
Ajay – Tango Charlie 5th rank is also good, since we’ll be sharing the train with some really great actors. Is Zameen par…
(Interrupting TC)
TC – platform 4 has come, so I would like to request all the passengers who boarded from platform 5 to get down to catch another train to their destination. Thank you.
4th platform
Jeetendra – I’m jumping jack, TC. I have brought Tohfa for you. Justice Chaudhary has sent his regards for you and (suddenly)
Nana Patekar – chup..bus bahut hua. TC ko rishwat deta hai. Mein abhi red fort par tiranga lahra kar aa raha hun. Agni Shakshi hai, maine kabhi galat acting nahi ki. Mein Tehkikat karunga ki mujhe 4th rank kyun diya.
Rishi Kapoor – bolo shanti oooooooomm, shanti shanti om.
Jeetendra – shanti om, hmmm, meri ma kehti hai shanti om bolne se shanti milti hai.
Nana – see the night sky, Jeetu it reminds me og Ab tak Chappan.
Rishi – dekho chand ki chandni, ise dekh kar to mujhe prem-rog lag raha hai. Khel khel mein..
TC (interrupting) – platform 3 has come and I would like to request all the passengers from platform 4 to get down. Thank you.
3rd platform
Rajesh Khanna – Babu moshai, mein Anand hun. Salo pehle mera Dimple se
Amar Prem hua. Lekin kuch sal pehle hi hamare divorce ke karan aaj mujhe Roti
khud hi banani padti hai.
Dharmendra – maine kaha tha Basanti ko ki in kutto ke samne mut nachna. Usne
meri baat maan li aur kuch salo baad mujhse shadi kar li, aaj wo mujh pe
sholay barsati hai.
Rajesh – jeevan ek…
Dharmendra – chup raho, agar isse aage kuch kaha to mein veeru ko bula lunga.
Veeru (Amitabh) – mujhe kisne yaad kiya
Dharmendra – chup, iski to aadat hai bak bak karne ki, chalo ab utro paltform 2 aa gaya.
Platform 2
Amitabh – mein hun Narayan Shanker, jawani mein angry young man tha, par
aaj mein buddha ho gaya hun. Lekin aaj bhi Sarkar mein hi chalata hun. Har
Deewar ko tod chuka hun, bhool gaye Jawani mein mera hi naam tha Vijay.
Naseeruddin Shah – tum star of the millenium ho kar bhi, 2nd rank par atke ho
Amitabh – kya naam bataya tumne apna hero hiralal
Naseer – mein tumhare hath ka Mohra nahi..
TC (interrupting again) – platform number 1 has come, I would like to request all the passengers who boarded from platform 2 to get down.
Platform 1
Dilip Kumar – hum yahan ke MUGHAL – E – AZAM hain. Hum yahan par naya daur layenge.
Dev Anand – mera naam Raju Guide hai, aur mujhe tumhare sath first rank batna pad raha hai. I wish mujhe..
Dilip – khamosh, judges ka decision koi aapki zageer nahi ki usper tumhare raaj chale.
Dev – aakhir maine galat kya kaha, mein evergreen ho kar bhi ek tragedy king ke sath first rank baat raha hun.
And the debate goes on with most of the actors, grumbling over the ranking judges awarded them. If you have any suggestions then just log onto mouthshut and mail rahul_jour.
