Of dates, courting and love. Review on First Date Experiences

The concept of going on a Date was quite alien to most of us till recently or at least not as common as the actual dates of the month! Mayunk once told me that date isn’t essentially a romantic girl-boy thing. It’s just meeting as friends, do things of common interests and have a good time in company you enjoy.* I mean I could be going on a date with my girl friends on a ladies night out!

You know what, may be he just didn’t want to commit at that time! Duh! Hehe!

It’s very difficult to talk about a first date! I mean which WAS my first date actually? Was it my first time out with Mayunk or some other buddy with whom my first outing was more interesting!;)

I met Mayunk at Alliance Francaise in Mumbai during our cours de conversation and both of us had just got new internet accounts(1998, it was still not so common) and very happily exchanged email ids. Soon we were writing to each other very regularly… sometimes even 3 mails in a day. But when we would meet or call each other, within a few minutes of conversation we would be lost about what to say next! We were at an “Aur Kya” point in our friendship.(We still make-up on sms! Old habits die hard… sigh.)

Then one day we decided to meet away from class at an Alliance function only. I dressed up well(I was already in love;) and was really looking forward to meeting him. We meet and go and have vada-sambar at a restaurant just opposite Alliance. And then guess what happens to our big meeting? Mayunk goes and sits alone someplace else during the play! Aaaargh!

I ask him after the play, why did you go and sit there?! He says you had a friend with you and I thought you didn’t want me to sit with you. DUH! Anyway, I introduce him to this friend and they get along like house on fire. For next 3 years, I am the silent observer at our threesome(don’t get ideas!) meetings. You HAVE heard of the adage “Apni kulhadi apne pairon pe maarna?” Something to that effect one might say.

AS destiny had it, inspite of disaster date, we are happily married today. Of course Mayunk thought he had serious competition when I went on this first date with a chat pal of mine. Now people even get married on internet, but for me it was a unique experience to actually meet a guy I was chatting with. We had been chatting for sometime, we also had exchanged a lot of emails and then spoken on phone.

Now this guy was a Sardar, with pagdi and all. We meet up. He says let me take you to my favourite place and I am thinking fancy place and wooing with wine. Turns out it’s a Chinese resto with red walls and tattered seats. But the food was delicious. I still remember the chicken sweet corn soup there and how my date choked on it thanks to me. Guess what? I went ahead and asked him “How do you maintain such long hair and how often do you end up washing it?” It was a question asked in perfect innocence and sheer curiosity, but seems it isn’t exactly politically correct!

Of course, buddy is a good sport and he is sputtering the soup as he laughs! From there on the conversation(no it didn’t go downhill! Geez!), but went off smoothly and we ended up being very good friends. I got one of my few and sweetest compliments from this guy. He told me “You came in my life like a breath of fresh air”.(Do I hear you gals going awwwww…;)? Now he has cut his hair and looks like Rahul Bose(I LOVE rahul bose). Ok! Ok! Let’s not get ideas here!

Anyway I didn’t have too many dates post that. Now a days my dates are with Mayunk’s buddies when he is traveling and the good souls take care of me and make sure that I don’t die of boredom alone.

A few pointers for those looking forward to romantic dating;

Be yourself. But if you have too many bad habits go easy on that part, though.(eg - nose or ear digging, chewing nails and worse habits! ewwwww!)

Dress well. By that I don’t mean you have to be dressed in Armani. Jus clean and ironed clothes that look good on you.

Listen and Talk. Do a bit of both. You don’t want to get into a monologue situation, either ways. Try and find common ground initially rather than bore the other person with your educational or professional talk.

Pay attention to the person NOT food. It actually happened to me when I met another chat pal(the last) and we went to have dinner. We realized within 5 mins that we hadn’t hit it off too well and he just kept on eating with such fervor that I wished I was dead. So even if you aren’t enjoying your date, be civil!

Don’t get too personal. It’s alright in the movies when the protagonists have a conversation about everything under the sun and kiss by morning. It doesn’t happen very often in real life. So don’t freak out your date by sobbing about your first love or giving out your medical history. Save it for future ones, if you plan to have for of them.

Plan just a little bit. This is important just so that you don’t take your date to a crappy place with not so decent crowd. Going to a street side egg rolls guy the way you do with buddies isn’t a brilliant plan for a first date at least. But leave a few things to chance. I for one get very bored with people who always have the right thing to do and say. And yes isolated places are a strict no-no in initial stages.

Of course, you still never know how it will turn out, this dream date of yours. Even if it’s a nightmare, grin and bear with it. Most importantly don’t give up.

People who are lucky in love are the ones who believe and don’t mind trying their luck in love…