Mar 22, 2005 02:42 PM
2990 Views
(Updated May 17, 2005 07:42 PM)
Welcome to to the world of politics and manipulation!
We Filmfare proudly present the grandest event of the year.'The Blah blah annual filmfare awards 2004rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr'
Ok guys u have to respect us for we pooh-poohed the Manikchand-Dhariwal Group of Industries sponsorship because we found out that he had underworld likes( Huhhhhh.as if we didn't aldready know it).goddddd don't we shine in the glory of integrity?
O, c'mon forget that for now.lets get to the awards bit.! Since the list of the honoured winners that filmfare bestowed its honour upon is too long we at filmfare would love to share with u sweethearts the actual inside razzmatazz and* razzle-dazzle* of the gilttarati stars!
Now after years of viewing filmfare you guys must have obviously guessed that we love as* licking all the big-wigs of the industry and destitute those who've failed to make a mark in the big bad world of'commercial' cinema!
We especially love giving awards to Amitabh Bachchan even if his work for the year is nothing but piffing and piddling. Period!. This year he is getting the'Yellow-est shi* of the year' honour.If this year the Big-B gets Icon of the year, next year its going to be Shahrukh! Basically we alternate the Icon of the year, superstar of the year, Most powerful of the year, and Best actor/supporting actor of the year between these two top bananas!
Who the f cares about the substandard Shabanas and lower-ranking Farhan Akthars or Tabus, or to say the least the subaltern Urmila!
Another favourite of ours is Yash-jiiiiiiiii.We run after him like a dog after a sausage! We just love his diabetic romances, and his versatility in experimenting with genres! And where else would you get to see such mind-bending Swiss locales for free? His film hassss to be nominated if not bestowed upon!
Listen guys, let me give you our basis of consequence.if you want the trophy(oh we made it golden this time.how thrilling!)
-If you are making a debut then either you have to be a star son/daughter or be a Chopra/Johar protigee
-If you are the heroine wanting to take the trophy back home, then its a MUST that you be paired opposite the King Khan who is so modest, does not boast at all!
-Take a walk if you are even closely related to Art/Sensible films
-A rig-fee of minimum 10lakh necessary!
-(Don't worry you wont have to sleep with Shakti kapoor but Mr Dhariwal or if you are a hero then his daughter!)
Excuse me guys!.There is no need to be shocked.if these were not the basis then how would lilliputian like Kunal Kohli get the best director award?
Atleast now you guys must have realised why Urmila(EK HASEENA THI) and Shilpa Shetty(PHIR MILENGE) were regelated to second grade treatment and why films like RAINCOAT, LAKSHYA, PHIR MILENGE, MAQBOOL and EK HASEENA THI were ignored for MAIN HOON NAA and HUM!
Ciao guys.hope you'll still watch our ceremony next year!
