A big disappointment. Review on Fanaa

Lets see - where to begin - After listening to all the hype, my wife made me sit through this monstrosity yesterday. The only consolation is that she hated it more than I did. Perhaps 'hate' is too strong a word, a better one could be 'deeply disappointed'.

Spoilers below, so stop reading here if you have too much time and money to waste on this crappy movie.

-------------------------------------------

We are looking at a truly desperate blind female (with equally desperate parents) who is willing to fall in love, sing songs and go to bed with a tourist guide that she has known for 4 days and before you can finish a small bag of popcorn.

So our precious heroin - after lecturing everyone on the richness of Indian culture - decides to "know the hero in the biblical sense" before marriage and gets impregnated. Our hero - upstanding citizen that he is decides to repay by promising to marry and taking the heroin to an eye-doctor (why eye-doctor? I guess, its OK to 'roll in hay' with a blind girl but nobody wants damaged goods for a wife).

Now the twist - out hero is not what he appears on the outside. It is something that becomes obvious immediately to any person with half a brain - but Hindi movies are made for dummies so they take a full half hour to describe to you the twist in painstaking detail.

It seems like there is a terrorist organization more powerful than Al Queida operating out from under a broken bridge in Kashmir (ha ha ha). They are capable enough to destroy buildings at will both in India and Pakistan (makes you wonder where they are getting their financing if they are against both India and Pakistan). They have done a blast at Rastrapati Bhavan and injured the Chief Minister of Delhi (has the Chief Minister of Delhi kicked out the President and started living in the Rashtrapati Bhavan?) . Now they have acquired a nuclear missile and are working earnestly after getting one of its triggers.

Of course our hero is smarter and more powerful than the doofuses that we hire in our military so he single handedly steals the trigger, kills an entire battalion and ends up half-dead at the doorstep of ... you guessed it ... heroin.

Seven years have passed since the proverbial "roll in the hay" and the result of it is a truly annoying six year old who has learned his language from Elmo on Sesame Street. (for those readers who don't know this irritating character - he always talks in third person) .

So now we have the same old routine of our hero at first being mean to his kid then falling in love with him. The heroin of course takes forever to recognize our hero even though he has been yakking like a parrot from the time he came back (I thought the blind had a keen sense of sound - but I guess there can be dumb blind people too).

Now the climax is set as a clash between love for a person vs. love for your country. Take a guess as to who wins - What the heck, I already warned you about the spoiler before, so here it is - Our heroin pulls a Mother India routine.

The music is very average by Jatin Lalit standards. Since this was going to be their last movie together, I had hoped for something worth remembering them by - but they disappoint as well.

The only redeeming value is the cinematography.

-------------------------------------------

Verdict: Skip this one, you will not regret.