Warning:: Please don’t kill me for an attempt to write absurdly and expecting this to be a Useful review will be your attempt for Insanity as I always say read better reviews.
Ever wondered that one fine day you get up and feel that today is the D-day, here D-day refers to a day where you have nothing to do and all the time in world to attempt a feat that you have never tried, today is Time pass day and since you have realized it, this review is a guide book to ”kill time before it kills you”.
1)Mobile Time pass:
Now you are an unfortunate soul, you try calling and SMSing but either you are a prepaid mobile user without the balance or a postpaid user who haven’t paid the bill, So communicating is something you cannot do with the mobile, So what next, Don’t defuse yourself and keep that mobile phone quiet, you can try many a things on it, Toss the mobile in the air then catch it with both your hands, again toss it and now catch it with your left hand and toss it again to check you right hand, The effort made you check your hand eye coordination, reflexes and a check on Law of Gravity, Now toss the mobile again and try to grab with your left FEET, 2 possibilities emerge, either the mobile gets crashed and shattered or you end up catching, Now if the 1st happens perfect you are a normal human being but if at all the 2nd comes true then Congratulations you are in for a career in Gemini Circus, immediately apply for the same.
~Super TP::
Sing the song, the one, which you don’t quite figure out the Lyrics of, and hum it throughout the day…
2)Elevator Time pass:
Now LIFT as the elevator is known normally is not an electrical box that carries you up and down and I find many people standing quietly while they climb the floors of a Multi in this, So try whiling in this box also, Try entering it alone, if the box has a mirror in it then its your 30 seconds of fame, Watch the mirror as if you are Superstar, try expressions that you find can win Oscar for you, change your hairstyle, remove your shirt flaunt your body and flex your muscles now sing the recent hit song Kajra Kajra Re, Umm ok so you alone in the lift and it says 5 persons and max weight allowed 340 KGs, Try check the durability of the Air hanging vehicle, Start Jumping 2 times and then stop, jump more and ensure that your action has caused a mini earthquake in the lift, even if the effort fails now try remembering the joke and then roll on the floor laughing ensuring you hit all the walls of the lift, ensure that the vehicle now dangles like a pendulum, The actions ensure 2 things Jaan, is lift mein Jaan hai hence your Jaan is safe otherwise SOS dial 101 for further assistance, PS. You can call the elevator helpline, there is always some non-visible sticker somewhere in there indicating the number, Search.
~Super TP:
If its 6’o clock in your watch, then rotate the time back to 12 noon and watch the clock tic tic back to 6, Works well.
3)Doorbells and Switches Time pass::
If you are sitting on the couch posing for a painting, this is the time your mind should give a thought to this pair, a doorbell and the switch are an eternal pair like Romeo and Juliet, Imagine you are in a hurry to get in the house for peeing, but for your natural pleasure you end up slamming the switch umpteen times until the door opens, But just analyze the pains that switch has taken from your finger and carefully observe the bonding, if one takes the wrath, the pain and cries are reflected by the Doorbell, The love is in harmony between the 2, so next time you press the switch for that doorbell, think about it.
~Super TP::
Watch Mithun Da movies and review them on Mouthshut, there is a INOX movie contest going on.
4)Writer’s Block:
It’s been days you have written something or is it there is no instant thoughts that you are getting to pen one down, try this bring 10 Sydney Sheldon Books, 4 Michael Crichton Books and Add 2 Dan Browne’s, tear 20 pages each from every book and stack them, now shuffle them like you playing cards, make sure It’s a 500 pager, Now go to a local binder and get the 500 pages bound together for a book, Name it and get it added to MS database, write a review on it giving it a 5 star tag, make people go crazy over it asking for this, You achieve a lot with this, You stacked up a Best Seller which was never sold you wrote an amazing spine twisting book with Natural calamity in it, Another time pass would be to name such a book, Do you have a name ?
~Super TP::
Try finding who was the first member who joined MS, now find the newest member who joined MS, take a note of the time of joining, now take the ratio between the 2 times and divide it by the total no. Of reviews written on MS, Oh yes you need to total the reviews written on this site for that as well. Do it and let me know the end result via m2m.
5)Musical Time pass::
Have you fancied being a Music Composer, What makes one a good composer is your uniqueness to bring in new sounds. Tap your table and then whistle and then continue with unperturbed mannerism now once the rhythm is set add a Alien sound “waaavaawaaa” and continue, The music doesn’t seem to be the best of your work try adding few techno like you burping, the sounds get better, Now bring in the tape and record, get this tape and break in the local FM station, Broadcast the sound, Congratulations you have just threatened the inhabitants of this city with Alien Attack, now in no time broadcast your cell no. and wait for a call from Spielberg or M. Night Shyamlan or even NASA.
~Super TP::
How do you Turn on the TV?, Wear Yana Gupta like clothes and dance in front of it may be it turns on, otherwise age old boring way is via remote and plug in to the electricity.
6)Final TP (My Favorite), Scary Fairy Time Pass::
Now you are not able to sleep, and your eyes are wide open like a Insomniac Owl, what should you watch, take from me, Watch the Ceiling Fan on your head, Try to follow your eye balls with one of the blades of the fan count the rotations, Now imagine the way you wish to die, suddenly after a nice motion and tandem between the fan and your eyes, you will feel that Fan is coming down on you, few more motions and you will see been grated and chopped by your own ceiling fan, This technique is called Self Help for enticing a nightmare, The only way to avoid it is rotate your eyeballs faster then the fan, So gear up.
Cticize’s Quote(Super TP):: “Try sneezing with your eyes open, that’s a typical age old but works well for me TP technique”.
Thanks for being this far, Move to the Comments section but before that Rate it and give an idea that how insane have you been in your life, there is nothing to take from this review, Please Read Better reviews.
© Cticize 07,2005
