Drona: Freaking Nonsense. Review on Drona

When I walked into the theatre there was a black ticket marketer whispering softly “Darna, Darna.., Darna..” I sniggered at his mispronunciation. Hyok! Hyok! Hyok!

..15 minutes later I realized he was sniggering at me!!!

Before I launch on the story, I would like take a minute to applaud the Director’s courage..!!! He actually aired this movie?

I cannot write the story as illogically as he portrayed it and I don’t think you can either, smart. No one else possesses such supreme skills. Drona starts in Europe, with a straight lift from Harry Potter with a wicked Aunt and her Dudley. Little Drona lives a miserable life seeking solace in a blue rose petal wafting into his room. Then Grown Drona lives a miserable life seeking solace in a blue rose petal……

A blue petal? For Christ sake at 30 if a blue petal makes a man gooey eyed? How are we going to get him to protect the world? His trusted aides are two puppets. Puppets?

Do I look that retarded, Mr. Director?

I know a clown when I see one…you expect me to believe he is gonna destroy the world???????

…(rolling on the floor from one end of the room to the other laughing)..

Stop right there..Don’t you dare close the window! Read the rest of it!  …!! scowl

…back to the story with a “Fast and furious” copy paste of a high-octane car chase scene … accompanied by a desi sound track.(Mr. Musician desi track???????)

So where was I?.. Ah! The car scene with Priyanka driving a swanky set of wheels drag racing and drifting around..

But the death eaters following them are extremely capable gentlemen…they drive another set of power wheels and catch up with the dynamic duo…

They then get out of the car and pull out their swords to fight.

SWORDS??????

Baffling!!!

Er…, Mr. Director, Did Drona come from the era of Hancock or Jai Hanuman?

Would somebody be kind enough to explain who Drona’s co-colleague superheroes’ are???

I jump a few more such baffling scenes and go to the Mother-Son moment!

Drona is very upset with the mother for abandoning him. Mother explains why she had to take such a decision… And the entire flash-back happens in cartoon strips!

Ha! Ha! And one more Ha!

Mr. Director, All I can say is, there is a limit to Cost cutting!!!

Speaking of which I must talk about an unruly Steed who could be tamed only by The Drona…

There exists a prophecy..! Valiant Drona is the only one who can tame a horse… A Horse soo powerful….

A Wilder beast!

A Magnificent Arabian species…!

A Stallion who can outrun a train..!

…gagaggaga! And then comes a short, skinny de-coloured, ill-breed mare?????

(Now you know the economic crisis is real!)

…..Added to that you got both Priyanka and Abhishek riding that poor tyke?????????

For your sake Mr. Director…I pray Menaka Gandhi never watches the movie.

Now this question ate me thru’ out the movie, And I cannot help but ask.

Did Priyanka Chopra come out of a brain tumor surgery??

What was the bandage she wore thru’ out the movie?

Incredulous!

I am stumped.

I am speechless.

How can anyone churn this much of stupidity?

I am still in a shell –shocked suspended animation state and the only thing I can do now, is render y’all a profound apology.

Profound Apology

I am in no position to complete this review…!

Just so that you don’t think that I am totally inconsiderate by walking outta this concoction half-way thru’, I leave you with one last word on the music tracks.

Unbearable!

A thousand wailing banshees and 20 million braying donkeys would have been blessing than that noise.

p.s: Leaving the theatre mid-way I still paid 60 bucks for the car parking…Weep!!!