Dosti badi Bore-thi.... Yawn. Review on Dosti - Friends Forever

First of all I don’t know why I’m reviewing this movie. Normally I wouldn’t review something like this, but the way I saw this movie was a new and awkward experience. I saw it in a bus. Ok, let me begin from the beginning. One of my colleagues and me had to travel from Hyderabad to Bangalore by bus. We got ourselves tickets in a non-ac Volvo. Our seats were Seat No.4 and No.5. When I sat on the seat, the first thing I noticed is the 21” LG flatron TV right in front of me. I knew these Volvo guys always play a crappy Hindi movie (if you’re unlucky) and a Kannada or Telugu movie (if you’re really unlucky!!!). I was hoping they would put a Hindi one, ‘cos I at least would understand the language. But, the last two times I had traveled in these Volvos, these guys had incidentally or coincidentally played Waqt. So, I was hoping I do not have to go through the father-son melodrama again. What I was exposed to was more horrific than what I was dreading. The bus left Hyderabad at 7:25. Even before the driver started the bus, the TV was switched on by his able assistant. The blue screen glowed ominously in my eyes.

One flash and the screen turned from blue to Bobby. My colleague next to me moaned in distress and said “Dude!!! They’ve put Barsaat ( which is another one of Bobby’s flops). Bobby (a.k.a Karan) was shown collecting an award and in his acceptance speech says some nice things about his best friend. I knew that instant that it wasn’t Barsaat, it was Dosti (not that I was overjoyed), but Akshay provides a glimmer of hope. The print was a pirated copy and I generally abstain from watching pirated movies. I was carrying a novel (The Lord Of The Flies by William Golding) which I had no scope of reading as the lights were switched off for a cinematic experience!!! Anyways, let's get back to the movie.Remember Bobby's giving a speech and while doing so, Karan goes into flashback mode and shows us two and a half hours of DOSTI – Friends Forever. How these Bollywood heroes manage to get away with such long speeches is still a matter of great interest to me. Anyways, we see a young stubborn rich boy who has all the money but no one to love him. He kicks a football in disgust and the ball flies such a great distance that it would put Rooney (Wayne from Man U football club) to shame. The kid runs behind it and since his eyes are on the ball, he goes over a cliff and is dangling for life. This is when little Akki (No prizes for guessing that Akshay a.k.a Raj is a poor orphan who gets abused by his uncle, his only guardian) saves little Bobby and then develops such a great a bond of friendship between them that Karan tells his parents that from now on Raj goes wherever he goes. The next scene shows a playboy Raj who is caught flirting with a girl in her hostel and Mr.Goody Goody Raj saves him from Police trouble . Then starts a duet between the two male actors and the two of them are hugging and kissing (not literally of course) in the song (Might have been inspired by this year’s Oscar contenders Brokeback Mountain).

Then something happened that was a blessing from God for me. No, the movie didn’t get better, my best friend called up (God bless her). We spoke for quite a while (as long as the network connectivity permitted us) and when I finally looked back at the TV, Karan was helping Raj win over Anjali (Kareena) whom he apparently loves since childhood but is scared of confessing and professing his love to her. Now, a duet between Raj and Anjali began. By the time it ended, Raj and Anjali were in a restaurant making wedding plans (again thanks to Karan, who gets Raj a permanent job in his dad’s company which convinces Anjali’s brother that Raj can feed Anjali for the rest of her life). Anyway, Karan comes to the restaurant and Anjali asks him when he’s planning to get married and right then, Karan spots Lara Dutta (can’t recall what she was called in the movie. My humble apologies). Of course its love at first sight. But, the two don’t meet until another song sequence which happens in Raj and Anjali’s engagement party.

Thankfully (don’t get hopeful guys), my friend called again (God bless her again) as my cell phone was able to catch a weak signal from some distant tower in some village. Again it was a while before I looked back at the TV screen and what I saw was a bizarre disco number in which Karan and Lara are doing some absurd steps while getting very cozy with each other. All is well. Both friends are in love and decide to get married on the same day. But, Bobby’s play-boy past comes in the way and Lara ditches him. Raj tells Anjali that he can’t marry her as Karan was heart broken. (Kya DOSTI hai!!!).

Meanwhile, I get another call from the same old savior angel, but this time the conversation didn’t last long as she had to go. But when I saw the movie again, Anjali was marrying someone else and then my colleague (who was watching the movie all through) told me that Raj had discovered that he had bone-marrow cancer and he wanted to go away from Anjali’s life so he fought with her brother and all the other clichéd stuff. Karan tries a lot to find a cure for Raj’s illness but in vain. Meanwhile our good guy Raj, sets everything right for Karan. He sorts out the problems Karan has with his Dad, mom, sister and also Lara!!! Juhi Chawla comes in to play Raj’s doctor’s role but I guess it was just for a kick. There was no scope for her to display her acting prowess. Raj needs O-ve blood group and Juhi’s hospital doesn’t have it. So, they announce over radio for help and guess who answers the call, none other than Anjali who by now hates Raj (as she spots him with Juhi in a restaurant and gets ideas and also blasts him and tells Juhi to be careful of Raj. Raj silences Juhi when she tries to tell the truth during Anjali’s outburst). Anyway, Anjali finds out about Raj’s sacrifices and gives the required blood. Anyway, after a few more touchy, touchy and sobbing scenes Raj dies (finally!!!) and the movie goes back to Karan holding the award (Remember, all this happened in flashback. I wonder how Karan knew about the duet Raj and Anjali sang after Anjali accepts Raj's proposal. He not only remembers the lyrics but also shows us the video in his flash back!!!. Guess he’s a Psychic-Flashback-viewer. Maybe he's a new version of human who stores file history not only the one's played through him but also other files played by another media player, Raj!!!). Anyways, the movie ends with Karan naming his son Raj (Please, guys. Get rid of this naming kids on their lovers/best friends funda. Its too clichéd. Come on guys, you can do better.). Phew!!! What a waste of a movie and what a waste of a review.

VERDICT: STAY AWAY FROM THE THEATRE AND ALSO FROM THE VCD/DVD or any other format of this movie available to you.