Aug 19, 2006 01:39 PM
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You know why I like 9/11 so much? Cos that’s the day (in Y2K though) I got married to Gujjuben! My wife was scared of everything that moved (except birds!), but then my ornithophobia maintained the domestic balance! So it was that I decided to buy ourselves a pet – first, to rid Pooch (that’s my wife, for me!) of her animal-ophobia and next, as a revenge against my Ma, who never let us keep a pet on grounds of ‘ Your responsibility is only for a 14 day period, and no money back’!
So, a pet was in order (unilateral, though). Too fond of dogs, cats not being mascho enough & space limitations in housing a horse as well as 2 of us – the vote was cast for a Dog (only 1 vote cast, 1 abstained)! Research that followed elevated Google to the top of search engine charts forever.
The Choices: Pomeranians were out – irritating, loud, unpredictable and too common being personal reasons ascribed. We’d always be in Defence flats, with lots of kids and lots less dogs, and, many pet-haters. So doggie-aggression was out. Security at home wasn’t a problem, but Venture Capital was! Size did matter to me (as it would to most men)! All this led us (me and Google!) to 2 choices - Boxer& Labrador.By then, Pooch was quite friendly and in love with both, as long as they stayed the other side of the PC monitor!
The Pick:On lower aggression quotient, higher cute-value, better loyalty & lower budget, the choice was made (for once, by me & wife, despite a jealous Google) - Labrador.
‘L’ for Labrador: Labradors are human. Blame it on the genes, they were born with a thick coat of black or golden-brown (official term: yellow) hair, bent over ears and a tail akin to a long cone stuck on the rump, with tip outwards! (I’ve heard there’s of this lovely book now, totally devoted to a Labrador called Marley). In its absence, in the summer of ’01, we spent many nights talking about this proposed new member – the hows, wheres and whats. For ease of speech, we coined the term Labo, to denote the Lab-in-waiting. We scouted for good deals for a male pup of our choice colour – Black, before we were advised us of the difficulty in seeing a flea on black. Also, it wuld show up more on my white uniforms! So, as the summer changed to rain, we moved from Black to Yellow! The heavens smiled, rains poured, the phone rang and one weekend, we were out on a drive in my F-I-L’s car from Colaba to Panvel, to pick up our new Labo.
Enter the Labo: Born the 24th Jun, he was of a litter of 6, around a fiercely protective mom. I went for instinct and picked him– active, large head and paws, healthy coat and a balanced walk driving the instinct. He was all of 5 weeks old, a good age to wean away to independence. Paid in cash, wrapped in a towel-from-home and we were headed back. Enter the car, pass the parcel and discord No. 1 arose from pooch : ‘I won’t hold him. His claws will hurt me’! 35 days old, 8” tall and claws! And a dog! Ever tried driving with a mobile bundle on your lap, for 1.5 hours? Ask me, it calls for nerves of steel, closed ears, agility of a fauji and a car of your F-i-L!
At Home: Nil accidents later, the poor bundle was lowered on mosaic terra firma and it dissolved into a bout of sniff-slide-pee-sniff-slide-curl-sleep! Thankfully, it gave me a chance to establish contact between finger of wife and claw of dog – dispelling fears of mortal combat! That one incident bonded her for life with the sleeping golden bundle. “Quick, think of a Name, before he wakes!”. God, when did Man domesticate a dog! Several names and hours later, with no recognitionfrom the canine, we were still talking of a name for Labo, when canine looked up! And we named him. Labo!I wont ever make it for the Nobel, I know, but then, Labo it’d be.
Bringing Up Labo: I shall not go into details of obedience & toilet training (where I nearly lost mine!) and speech&sign recognition. Enthusiasts may ask me! Suffices to say, training a Lab(o) is a dream. Labo can be stopped from doing a thing, just by a sign-of-eye. And, I haven’t even made a big effort at Training. Labs and kids are like Fevikwik. Only problem is when the 35 kg joy gets nudged on the torso of a barely-walking kid, with catastrophic results, if the surface is bad. The only times when sadness prevails is when we leave him in when we go out. Or, when he gets his shout-at, for overtaking me, straying or leaking at the wrong corner of the foliage! But, that’s all sans the leash!
His hobby? Watch his bro’ in the M800 ad, sleepily looking sideways at the kid-Surd drives his M800 all over the place! Labo dreams, has nightmares, puts all 4 up a la Scooby and more. He smiles, cries, raises one eyebrow and squints. I’ve seen him sleep with an ear straight up and the other bent over, in defiance of Newton!
Appetite & Exercise:Exercise involves “bend-to-pick, straighten & throw”for me (ball/stick/stone/just action), and ‘Run, Fetch, Run back, Go again’ for him. Feed them what you eat, minus much sugar. Labs have pits for tummies. You make the ‘Quit’ call, they don’t. Else, soon you will have a blob-on-legs, pleading with sad dramatic eyes to excuse the exercises (You too deserve a rest sir, he’d rather say!). Stay firm and you see the same eyes lighting up with a naughty smile and raring to go for that walk/run/swim, saying ‘Got you there, eh?’!
A Lab in water can well be a lifebuoy. They never tire, ever. 1 hour on, and I’ve had to swim in and kick him right out, or, risk staying at the beach for sunrise! They are naturals. I’ve seen it since he was 3 months.
More pros:They’re addictive. They’ll make you popular in your area – with all. When it comes to people, there are just 2 types – Lab lovers and not-yet-lovers! They’ll expect to be part of decision making and get to be substituted for pillows and leg rests, over time! They’ll sulk if denied the first glance when you get home. Get up after a nap or return after a year, they will be equally excited to see you (& no rings, flowers, toys required)! You can have eye-talks with them and cut the word boredom from your lexicon, forever. As for expenses, its 600 p.a on vaccines, plus the extras, as per your purse.
No Cons?: There are. We live in a pet-unfriendly land. Your travels take a beating, for good, unless you have caring and Lab loving pals. Boarding joints are out, as they keep dogs tied up, and a Lab has no need for that!
They shed a lot, twice a year, but quantum can be reduced.
I saw a 1AC coupe thanx to Labo, as that being the only option on transfer (air was costly with a heavy dog and my car wasn’t reliable). A Delhi-Cochin drive, again on transfer, was for Labo-ism. Parting with a Labcan be your most heart-breaking moment, ever. It’s a tribute to the saintliness of the Lab when a previously-dog-fearing friend named mine Dalai Labo!
For us, a Dog is a Lab is Labo! It’ll be for you too, if you have/ get one.
They dont get more human than this, even among HomoSapiens Erectus, Really!
Iske Aage Hum, Aur Kya Kahein..Janam Samjha Karo!
