Sep 19, 2009 11:24 AM
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Overrate: Direction for this(and most) Yash Raj Films
All rounder: Poonam Dhillon in boring role as Kher’s estranged wife
Silly point: Dialogue(sample:Main Punjabi baap ka Punjabi beta hoon – well, what else could you be?)
Boundary: strictly Wagah – please show flags and marching to create superior effect
Balle Balle!: 2 songs – maybe add one for village rani when she washes clothes nadiya kinare
Flight: Air India(please add band baja and dancing/twirling Anupam Kher when it reaches Amritsar)
Chappati Shot – please replace this archaic, unknown term with parantha shots. Also add a few tequila and agricultural ones –
Drinks Breaks(Two) – between Dalip Tahil and Anupam Kher, patron da puttar for respective teams in Aman Trophy- keep fruits also to show good health, prosperity etc(also see Aman Trophy)
Chin Music: all the songs – jarring enough, even to be played on a boys’ school picnic
Drive(two) – one in truck that breaks down once, one in huge open car past the fields
Featherbed: Haystack for strictly antiseptic date between Rani and Shahid
Extras: 20 grinning dancers in turbans, 20 plump, pretty women in loose salwar kameezes, 2 nubile girls chewing sugarcane, 1 bull riding a truck. Ok, add the truck – it features in four scenes!
Flashing outside the off stump –(well, just about everywhere): Rakhi Sawant
Padding up: Rakhi Sawant
Queering the Pitch: Effeminate Heer in village play in a totally tasteless dig at alternative sexuality
Quickies: not found – it’s a U/A movie, please!
Wicket Maiden: Rani – truly consummate actress in Indian cinema for this reviewer certainly– methinks she’s maiden maid out for this role – oops!
Flying Return: first twenty minutes of the movie – dekho to jaano!
Toss and turn: lovestruck shahid at night after love strikes our London returned man in homeland
Fine knock: what shahid does when he goes to men’s dressing room in search of Veer urf Veera – indeed, had he been more prudent, the movie would finish in one hour - or maybe go four perhaps, like lagaan!
Outfield: sarson ka khet
Footwork: Shahid Kapoor, nimble as always
Non-striker: Shahid Kapoor – shades of Jab We Met!
Good length: oh yes! a really good length – could be cut by half an hour.
Cuts: too many – especially in the first half
Middle order: Rani Mukherjee
‘Drag’ onto stumps/wicket: Costume design for Rani - wicket twist!
Makeshift Opener: see *Drinks
Golden Pair: Contacts for rani(for 20/20 vision) in pivotal scene when her identity is revealed to shahid
Floaters: One pair(Rani’s shoes) to go along with red dress on their dhaba date
Stock delivery: DDLJ theme tune, Maine Pyar Kiya dialogues, baisakhi festival, tractor, separated older parents – do you want me to go on? – it’s YRF, na
Aman Trophy: fictitious India-Pak trophy created for this movie to save on budget J
‘Short’ pitch treatment: Sherlyn Chopra(often)
Fine legs - Sherlyn Chopra – of course
Man of the Match: what man? Chuck de man of the match! listen to end ka speech, jee.
