Dec 06, 2004 02:04 PM
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(Updated Dec 06, 2004 02:04 PM)
(NOTE: this piece originally first appeared first in the October 15 2004 issue of JAM magazine (print edition) this year)
(sung to the tune of ?we didn?t start the fire? billy joel circa 1988)
Yellow bike, red bike, aby?s acting, rimi?s psyche, only things that I like, quite honestly
Bikes spewing nirtous smoke, pizza boys are nasty folks, uday?s acting is a joke, mechanic-aly
(lead guitar plays, slow tempo of drums)
Gajar halwa, rimi?s jalwa, esha?s toy, johnnie boy, watching him is quite a joy, playing to the crowd
esha is biker?s moll, fight royale in goan ball, logic doesn?t work at all, punj-yankee loud
little aby, ok maybe, rimi is his bong baby, koto shundor chhobee, koto mishtee plot!
splendid weather, lace and leather, birds of stupid feather, let?s all dance together, don?t we look hot!
(chorus)
oh, tale of asphalt and tyre! we were always sinking, what?s the director thinking?
Oh yes, the audience we admire! They are paying their earnings, for the trash we are churning?.
(lead guitar tempo rises)
esha?s steps, john?s flex, antiseptic dose of sex, matrix shtyle special effects, fists fast and thick
bank heist, bicep feast, john looks like a beast, also has to act the least, in a puerile flick
chases on land and sea, police as dumb can be, but tata young is must see, in the title track!
music?s bore, lousy score, doesn?t get off the floor, surely you could ask for more, from S, E and Loy
chopra brigade lost their way, bit like DDLJ, surely there is a way, we want yashjee back!
DTPH, Kabhi Kabhi, Lamhe Doosra Aadmi, Silsila and Chandni, to watch them was a joy!
We didn?t start the fire! We didn?t ignite it, though we tried to fight it ?
And couldn?t stop the bonfire! Of the prints they are making, and with mirth they are shaking?
(tempo rises ? intense drumming)
split screen! Four stroke scream! Tummy flat! Howz that?
Boys-will-play-will-have-their-way, WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY?
College gags! esha?s rags! plot sags! Story drags!
Where is the exit door? I CAN?T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
(Chorus )
(we didn?t start the fire ?.) (fade out)
