It was a battle of the losers. And we are not talking about a cricket match between Bangladesh and Scotland.
The trio was in hell. Why the hell were they in hell, did you ask? Purely because I want them to lie there. And not chew my brains for the rest of my life.
The three Devdases (if that's a correct term) of Hindi cinema were squabbling.
SRK: Heyheyhey, P-p-p-p-p-Paro meri hai. Paro is mine. Your name may be Yusuf, but I am also Sh-sh-sh-sh-Shah Rukh aka Shrukie.
Dilip Kumar: Na munna na. Na. Paro is mine. By the time you finish stammering, Paro and I will elope. After all, dilwale dulhania le jayenge!
SRK: Heyheyhey, that's my f-f-f-f-film, haan!
Dilip Kumar: Then stop being Devdas. Go back and become Rahul and Raj. Or better still, go to Karan Johar. Paro is mine.
K L Saigal: Hayen. Aayen. Naayen. Paro(n) is mayen. Kyunki hum Close Up karte hayyen ... ummhmm hahahaha haha haaaa
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The chaos caused in hell can give you an indication. Three films in Hindi and a considerable number in Bengali have been devoted to the greatest loser in Indian literature - Devdas.
I remember how I excitedly entered the cinema hall almost two years ago. I had neither read the original piece of literature, nor had I cared to see the Saigal or Dilip Kumar movies. Although I was aware of the basic premise of Devdas, watching the famous piece of literature unfold on the silver screen was going to be a first-time experience for me. I hope it's the last one as well.
As I mentioned, I entered the hall with a sense of anticipation. Shah Rukh Khan is my favourite actor and I assure you that Karan Johar hasn't paid me for writing this. Yet, I didn't expect all that much from the film, per se. After all, to nullify Shah Rukh's presence was the stone-faced mannequin called (tr)Ash.
And then, I believe that there is too much hype around the bearded Bhansali. I thought his second film Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam was a rotten, pretentious effort, especially when compared to his lesser successful but well directed debut - Khamoshi. I fail to see how the critics went ga-ga over a film which threatened to treble the noise pollution in our country. Ah, now I realise. If Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam was as loud as an angry professor, Devdas was as loud as good old Sunny Deol. God save me.
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The first scene set the tone. I was rollicking with laughter as the normally normal (what an indigenous term that is!) Smita Jaykar decided that she wanted to show her son's photograph to everyone as if it was a Playboy centrespread.
Now, I am sure Karan Johar would have something to say about SRK appearing in a centrespread, but that's a different story altogether ...
Now, I am confused. The reason why Paro and her mother were humiliated by Devdas' mother (according to the book and this film) was that they belonged to a subordinate class and were poor. Yet, in spite of her not so affluent background, Aishwarya Rai, who (unfortunately for the poor viewers who have to bear her abominable shrieks) plays Paro, lives in a house which is grand enough for a king!
I have no problems with Bhansali making a few changes with the original novel. This is his film and I believe that he is free to innovate and tinker around with his own interpretation of the novel. Yet, the sequences wherein Paro met Chandramukhi and the song somehow lack conviction. After viewing the end-result, I agree that the rendezvous between the two women in Devdas' life was just to create a sensational coup.
Many opine that this film was a treat to the eyes. But then, I don't waste 200 bucks and four hours to see something that is merely a visual treat. For God's sake, if it was merely visual satisfaction, I would rather venture out for a promenade in a non-polluted area. Or better still, I would gaze at the Kareena Kapoor poster which adorns the walls of my room. And then, somehow, the so-called visual appeal of Devdas didn't appeal to me. The 50 crores wasted on this project just seem to jazzy and garish. In fact, in quite a few sequences, I had difficult concentrating on the characters as the sets and costumes were screaming for attention.
The above flaws would be forgiven if Bhansali would have extracted good performances and directed the film. But then, as Navjot Sidhu never fails to remind us - if ifs and ands were pots and pans, then Vim Bar would never have been required. Er ...
Devdas signals the return of the nautanki. Now, I have nothing against the ancient plays of our culture. Some of them, though, have been famous for actors behaving as if their audiences are a kilometre away from them. Loud. That is the major problem with Devdas. If someone is not shouting, then somebody else is wailing. If nobody is wailing, then the background music is screaming as if the aliens are coming. And if all is quiet, Aishwarya Rai decides to shriek and squeal.
Yet, there were a few scenes I liked. Shah Rukh's interactions with his father and his arrival at his father's funeral are two of them. Also, I loved the way the climax was under-played, with the beautiful black-and-white effects.
The dialogues are even more melodramatic and shallow than the acting. Yet, the repartee between father and son is well written. Other memorable dialogues include:
Babuji ne kaha gaav chod do. Sab ne kaha Paro ko chod do. Paro ne kaha sharaab chod do. Tumne kaha ghar chod do. Ab ek din aisa aayega ki woh kahega, duniya hi chod do.''
''Kaun kambaqht bardasht karne ko peeta hai?''
''I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I object!''
The music is one of the few positive aspects of the film. Although I don't believe it's as good as it's made out to be, it's relatively soothing and melodious. My favourites are undoubtedly Bairi Piya and the haunting theme piece. Silsila Yeh Chahat ka comes a close third.
An interesting trivia about Bairi Piya. It's rumoured that Aishwarya Rai's ''Isshhh'' was inspired by Utpal Dutt. Does anyone remember Bhawani Shankar in Golmaal, exclaiming, ''Eeeeeeeeeeeesssssshhhh!''
Shah Rukh Khan, playing the title role, is the sole reason why I didn't walk out of the theatre. Although he does go overboard at times, his histrionics in the scenes I mentioned earlier are fantastic. Also, one does not see the hyperactive Rahul/Raj SRK. In other words, he does not stutter ''P-p-p-p-p-p-Paro!'' I particularly loved his portrayal of a spoilt lover and especially his drunken scenes.
Aishwarya Rai, as Paro, looks quite old. I believe that Sooraj Barjatya modelled his parrot in MPKDH on (tr)Ash. It's difficult to decide whose shrieks were more irritating.
Madhuri Dixit, as Chandramukhi, looks gorgeous, especially in her introductory scene. When it comes to acting, she is effortless and refrains from going overboard in a film where almost everyone is screaming as if India has won the Soccer World Cup.
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