== Every man or woman must marry.
It?s dangerous to be happy all life long! ==
Marriage is the oldest institution of human civilization, probably the most celebrated, and more often than not, long lasting as well. Marriage can be looked at from different points of view. For the sensitive and sentimental, marriage is the unification of hearts.
For others, marriage is the way a person becomes complete. But that is the sensible and gentlemanly way of looking at marriage.
For the churlish, *marriage is when a guy decides he?s got too much money and time and doesn?t know what to do with it.
For the unnecessarily cautious, marriage is making sure you can make a phone call for help if your car gets punctured on the way back from office.
Furthermore, when a man marries, it?s the time he realizes he?s not as bad as he thinks he is.
He?s worse.
The first few years of marriage, if you observe, you sincerely feel like addressing your spouse as?dear? or?honey? or?my love?. A few years down the line, it?s just a nickname like?Sanju? is to?Sanjay? and?Anu? is to?Anuradha?. But in the more mature stages, it?s?your erratic compulsiveness? or?you Bohemian arthropod?.
With this as an observation, I believe, like most perfumes and scents, marriage also looses it?s freshness and ages, probably a little faster than men and women do, and transforms from a beautiful realm of love and happiness into a wizened, decrepit old shaggy. But I am being unnecessarily churlish here. The truth is, most sensible couples are happy with their lives after marriage. After all, looking back at it all, they realize. It could have been worse.
?unless otherwise stated.
== I?m Coping, I?m Coping==
Every marriage is different and so I believe I can reasonably assume so is the story behind every divorce. You see, I face a fundamental difficulty in this matter. I am not even married. Therefore, I can only theorize. However, I can say with some confidence that some of my theories are particularly worth remembering and so I invite you to read further on. I shall be dealing with the few methods as different cases.
1: The concerned individual in this case belongs to that unfortunate class of individuals who has faced a completely one-sided heartbreak. He or she is the type who tried all that was possible to prevent the divorce and set things right, who had committed oneself to the complete imbecility of compromising dreams and ambitions and also, third-party lovers. For such a person, coping with divorce is albeit difficult.
The best way to deal this problem is to take things one at a time. Start with pretending your spouse is a part of a peacekeeping force to Iraq. Slowly, with time, you?ll start feeling piqued your spouse is a part of a mission George Bush initiated. Try listening to a few of his speeches. Slowly, the realization of what an absolute moron your spouse was will dawn on you. If nothing works, talk to an American. You?ll positively hate your spouse then.
Another way of achieving the same thing is to imagine your spouse was once a friend of Mandira Bedi. If you?re a woman, you?d appreciate fully well that divorce was a boon in disguise. Mandira Bedi?s friend? Jesus! If you?re a man, you?d appreciate it even more strongly. Because it is only then that you?ll be able to understand why she wanted you to wear noodle straps for your post-PhD convocation party.
If nothing works, then there is still one hope. If you?re a woman, then it?s easier. You make your pet poodle dine with you at the table for a week and not clean it once. Suddenly, the picture of the dining table after an average meal in your married life will swim before you and you?ll be happy you?re single. If you?re a man, it?s not tough either. You know fully well how bad it is to be told you?re?not enjoyable?. It?s so terrible! What did she need for fun anyways?
2: This class of people are relatively better off. This class is of those people who have sincerely experienced obstacles from their spouse in the pursuit of their ambitions. For a person who is thoroughly put off by the idea that the spouse should oppose his/her goals ambitions, coping with divorce from a person engaged in that is in some sense relieving. It?s best to be single and successful than married and insane. Divorce in this case is a mutual decision taken not out of emotion but after serious thought. For them, the process of coping with divorce is just about the same thing as exacting revenge. This is how you deal with it?
Keep a picture of your spouse in one hand and a bat in the other. Walk up to your most sophisticated IBM NotePC and slash it violently with the bat. Then turn to the picture and say-are you stupid? What did you do that for? Then go to your brand new sedan and pelt it with concrete stones. Then curse the picture and tell it that you didn?t like his/her choices much either. Return home and dash out abusive letters to your friends in your spouse?s name. When they respond, slap the picture for being so dirty.
And simply because life will hit an all time chaotic after that, sue your spouse for your emotional loss. If you loose the case, you?ll find out for the first time who his/her real parent is-the damn judge. If you win the case, you?ll have found out his/her first spouse-the poor judge.
3: The third class belongs to those for whom divorce has been a serious blessing. For instance, there was this guy who passed on a five-hundred buck note to his wife after their first night and she took it with thanks and asked if she could have a tip as well. If he divorces her I don?t blame him. I have heard of a woman who got married to a guy who kept chanting-oh I love you, Sally-while they made love. Now if she does happen to be Susan, she?d better divorce him.
For them coping with divorce is not tough at all. They?ve just relieved themselves of a lot of pain. Unless this Sally-lover was too hot a dish.
Oh no, I think I?m hanging out with my classmates a bit too much.
== IN The END ==
A sensible man, once divorced, marries again and hopes for the best. A more intelligent man, once divorced, first analyzes where things went wrong and then marries again hoping for the best. An average chap, however, once divorced, divorces again. We need a little men?s upliftment, don?t we?
At Any Rate
I don?t know if it makes sense to mention it here, but some couples who?ve had an out-and-out love marriage do debate once in a while if they were right in going all the way up in their college days. Once, when over the dining table my grandpa and all of us were joking ourselves insane about teenage encounters, he made a very interesting statement.
?Back in my teenage, sex was simple. You wanted it, you couldn?t get it. Why they call them the good old days is beyond me?
