Writing never interests me until the topic is vexatious. I decided to write on this topic as being a women myself have undergone trauma and feels the pain that we consider NORMAL.
I remember the incident when I was 8 year old. I was walking through crowded streets with my dad in vegetable-market, he was busy buying vegetables and suddenly a guy appeared from nowhere and pinched me on chest as I was very young I didn’t knew exactly what happened but I knew something bad happened and before I could react he lost in crowd. How ashamed I was of myself, my body at that time.
Again one more incident I remember when I was going to high school (I was in 12th standard and wearing high school uniform i.e. Punjabi) early morning at 6.20am, I always took shortcut to reach on time, as lectures would start at 6.55am.
One such day while going to high school a dudhwala bhaiyya (milkman) who was going in opposite direction on bicycle came and touched me. I gave him a sharp look, further he stopped his bicycle said, “Aau kya?” turned towards me. I was shocked and stunned. Thanks to bunch of senior college kids standing far corner of road, they got their attention and started coming in our direction, seeing this that dudhwala bhaiyya fled. I was so embarrassed that I walked fast without stopping and glancing at anyone, tears streaming down my face. Later I cried in class and my girl friends helped me to calm down, even my parents supported me and next day my mom came to drop me to high school before going to her office. Still I get upset at the mere thought of this incident.
Even today while traveling everyday I get lewd comments, hungry stares, and physical touch at various places making excuse of crowd. I know many girls go through this situation, even worse than this but I ask why these situations are termed as NORMAL when it affects every girl. I never shared this incident with anyone ever later until now.
I shudder at the mere thought of being rape victim.
Then to I ask myself what would I do if ever become a rape victim? What will I do to my abuser(s)?
In the heat of the moment I reply I will seek justice, I wont let those monsters live at ease.
However, on second thought I will do nothing, as I do not want to spoil my career, my life due to the incident and be thankful to god that at least I am ALIVE.
Nevertheless, who is going to suffer but obviously ME because I will be guilty of letting go my abusers without punishment and even if I try to seek Justice then too I will be guilty of ruining my career and life.
Sad but true and to change this mindset our societies perception towards rape victims needs to be changed.
Whenever a woman is raped the questions revolves around her character and what kind of clothes she was wearing. This really amuses me as what these things have to do with Rape.
Even prostitutes have their right to say choose a customer, even they can say NO.
No, I do not consider prostitutes as characterless as they are doing for their livelihood. Moreover, because of them women can walk freely on road else, the road would be full of sex-maniacs.
Often said that girls’ wearing vulgar and skimpy outfit urges men to commit this crime. Well to some extent, it might be true but what about violent and vulgar movies, porn stuff (which comes with various topics and almost all males watch them with keen interest). It is nothing but an excuse given by rapist to save his skin.
Since olden day’s women is target of physical as well as mental abuse but rape was not this extent as it is seen these days due to the discipline and strict actions by rulers of our country.
Rape tolls are increasing day by day and we need such discipline and strict laws in our country. Rapists are not always strangers they can be neighbors, your relatives, people you trust. Women ages 16 to 24 are 4 times more likely to raped and 85% of the victims know their attackers.
Every time a woman is abused she is embarrassed, not the abuser. She never speaks up for fear of loosing so-called remaining izzat (self-repect), gets angry on herself and ends up hating herself.
Women tend to be suicidal and goes into mental depression thanks to the hype created by our society.
*I would like to share my views on how to save oneself in this situation
Everyone knows it is better to keep pepper sprays, avoid shortcuts, and ignore eve teasing
But if someone is stalking and eve teasing on regular basis its better to lodge complaint before something serious happens. In addition, please first let your family knows the day you are abused after all in any situation our family (understanding or bitter) is going to be with us always. Family support is biggest support of all.
And finally if a person comes near u to molest u do not be scared and stunned tell yourself to be strong and do not waste time fighting and scratching the person. Simply hit him below the belt as hard as u could, the moment he comes near you and runaway. Do not wait or turn back keep running until you are safe. (Well my male friend who cares for me has given this piece of advice to me).
What to do if you are raped(according to Women Organized Against Rape (WOAR):-vital non-profit organization of Philadelphia)
Seek medical attention as soon as possible.
Do not shower, eat, or smoke. These actions can destroy evidence of the attack.
Report the crime. A victim is not required to report the incident, but it is highly recommended to prevent future attacks by the perpetrator.
However, I think time should change and we women should think that it is crime performed against body and not soul.Why should we feel guilty and embarrassed for the crime committed by sex-hungry animal, as our soul is still pure? Is it our fault that they are so addicted to sex? They need help not US. Always remember, “You are victim and that person is at fault”.
I know it is easy to preach...only sufferers know but I did my bit to share my viewpoints with you. My article is about injustice against women in the form of physical abuse. In fact, this injustice is against not only women but men as well, as in some aspect of life women plays role of your mother, sister, friend, wife, and daughter. Both men and women should come together against such devastating crime.
These are some of the sites which states laws against domestic violence and other violence
https://womenexcel.com/law/rapelaws.htm#1
https://indiatogether.org/women/laws/laws.htm
https://wcd.nic.in/
https://wcd.nic.in/womendevelopment.htm#ACTS
