Just Like That..!. Review on Commenting on Reviews

I don't need to delve into the reasons of why everyone loves to have loads of comments on their reviews and posts. We are all on the same page on that one. What is probably worth commenting about is the kind of comments we usually get by MouthShut members.

There are reasons why we as humans love to classify, categorize and label things. Its our way to identify and to react to a'type' of thing.a'type of person', 'a type of movie', 'a type of book' or even'a type of affair'! So let me, with your kind permission, do some classification of those precious comments.

1) Attendance:'Booked. Booked. Booked!'

'Me first(or second, or third, or nth)'

'I was here' or'I will be here' or'I am here'

'Will come back after give that dal on the stove a stir(or whatever) to read this'thing' that you have so painstakingly written'

This type of exchange usually takes place between two mutually committed parties who are under an obligation to mark their attendance every time the other one has to say something. They are under a virtual agreement to provide a guaranteed bottom-line to the comment count of the other party.

2) Chat Room:This is an sample exchange between three bestest of friends'Eer', 'Beer' and'Phattey' in the comments section of one  of the review/diary'Phattey' has written. This is after the attendance ritual has been successfully concluded, mind you!

Eer:'Hi! So you are here as well.'

Beer:'Course! You still awake!'

Eer:'Was just'bout to press ALT+F4 when Phattey's review alert popped up.!'

Phattey:'E and B, you HAVE to go to sleep now.'(Not really meaning it.otherwise who else would comment)

Beer:'Eer - Sahi hai. Cofee pee le ek.aankh khul jayegi.!'

(Beer has gifted a coffee to Eer)

Phattey:'Mujhe bhi gift kar, bahut neend aa rahi hai'

(Beer has gifted a coffee to Phattey)

(Eer has gifted a ThankYou to Beer)

(Phattey has gifted a Hug to Beer)

Eer:'Mast coffee thi.i am awake as an owl now. LOL.!'

Beer:

Phattey:

Eer:$%#$%# #$%#%#$

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.

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This goes on forever.!

This kind of commenting is the pinnacle of the resonance of a few souls, a rhapsody of sorts which ‘Phattey’ will savour and reciprocate to, whenever'Eer' or'Beer' care to press some keys.

3) Wonderful:  The word itself is so wonderful. Wonderful, because it fits in everywhere like a Joker in the pack. If you don't know what to make of a 3000 word rambling but you are under a third party agreement(described in(1) above), then you just say'Wonderful review/diary' and voila!. You have fulfilled the conditions of the agreement. It can also be replaced by adjectives like'Beautiful, Amazing, Fantastic'.but nothing is more wonderful than'Wonderful'!

4) Static Text:  In this case, it is immaterial as to what is written in the poor review/post. The comment is unscathed. It floats above the words, like wax in the water, not even picking a drop of it. This also happens in the case where the third party agreement has been mandated. You just HAVE to comment!

5) Literary Insult: Now these ones are insulting! Really insulting! No, not that the leavers of these comments say nasty things to the writer. All they do is make you feel so stupid about yourself that you wish you had never written your petty review/diary in the first place. Every word of theirs is unheard of, like it was some Martian language. You spend a  good 30 minutes trying to lookup all their words on dictionary.com and then re-assembling their paragraph in more English like words to understand what they actually meant(if they meant something at all). Beware of the guys who have ever prepared for GRE/GMAT. Their preparation hang-over just never ends!

6) Unsolicited Surgery: These ones lend a whole new meaning to what your wrote. Meanings which even you wouldn't have imagined when you were   writing that piece. They dissect each and every vital organ of your whole bodied review and tear it to pieces. You again start to rue the celestial arrangement which made you decide to open your mouth at all!

7) I would never know!: These are simple. A bit too simple! A bit too simple to understand! You read them end to end and in spite the fact that they are written in plain English, at the end of it you just don't know what it meant! You usually get this garnishing from 1-2 days old profiles who vanish as soon as they arrive.

8) Awestruck:  Everyone has his/her day. You will have one too. And if you have a star against your name in this place, chances are you would have had many such days. On those days, you would have written a masterpiece.(whatever that means). And on those days you would hear a lot of'Wow!', 'You should be a screenplay writer', 'You should be a novelist', 'You made me cry'. These comments make you glide in air and you really do contemplate writing a novel that day!

Continued in comments.