Oct 16, 2007 02:21 PM
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“ It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped” – Anthony Robbins
It is not the first time, I have struggled for choices in my life. There have been umpteen occasions, where I have moved with only one option, whether I liked it or not. If I look back, they all have added up to where I am today. You may ask, if I am happy. The answer is always a Yes and No, primarily because I am on a permanent quest for life… trying to understand and explore it through various experiences, which are thrown upon.
The story starts back right from school days. After matriculation, I wanted to join one elite school of my town, was given admission, but wasn’t allowed by parents. They feared that it was too far. Naturally I went to another school which was just ANOTHER school, but it was nearby.
I still some how believe that if I had a chance to go to that school, I would have been little different in my life, as that was the best in town and everybody was expecting me to go to that school and do very well. But then, I did not had power to choose at that time, as you do not have the power to choose your parents. You just get them.
The reason why I still regret that part in my life, because I believe that if you get good education, good school and good classmates in those formative years, they create a huge impact in your life in years to come. Its not everything as individual determination also counts a lot, but it definitely sets the tone.
The same parents though agreed for sending me to coaching into another city, which resulted into me qualifying for engineering . A special effort yielded in special result. I chose to be there, and circumstances helped me to be there.
Most often, we get stranded on a cross road. The decision making becomes difficult because we lack either insight or do not have enough money to pursue, what we desire. Most likely we go with the easiest option as neither we nor anybody surrounding us had enough courage to wait for the right option to come, or to generate enough resources to go to that option. We feel threatened by the unpredictability of WAIT. Risk of failure gets on to our nerves, and we jump to whatever is available.
Some times it’s the force of compliance. Since everybody around you is doing the same, you are also expected to follow. The common logic “ Why be different?” because if you dare to be different and fail!, then everybody is going to laugh at you( really?, it’s a threat played in our minds).
The forces of compliances do not allow us to wait for the best fit. More often the selection is from whatever is available at that moment, or in a given time frame( which is usually short). There are several examples. After education, we are expected to pick up a job and start earning. The pressure to start earning forces not to pursue further studies. You just have to begin with whatever is available with a hope that things will improve with time. Most often they never do.
I decided to pursue post graduation after my B.Tech. because during my in plant training, I saw my graduate seniors slogging day in day out. They all were having a secured jobs, but they were just jobs. I was scared to get trapped into that rut, hence the decision to go for higher education. I was fortunate to get the family support. I got a good industry start after my post graduation. Did I choose to be different at that point in time? I can say now with sufficient affirmation “Yes”.
There are other pressures, pressure to get married( tie the knot and SETTLE, little do you know that you might be permanently unsettled for rest of your life, if you make a wrong move) with whatsoever available( due regards to fairer sex, they have more pressures of compliance in this regard, as Indian mind set does not even allow them to have a voice of their own … at times choices are thrust upon them). If you turn around, you will find several more examples scattered everywhere around you. Some times your own expectations may bog you down.
We are scared of WAIT. We fear that it might be too late then, or we may lag behind. This fear forces us to be quick and conditions our mind to even adopt short cuts. Seldom we ask from ourselves “ did we do enough to get other choices in our lives ”. Jim Robn said “ For every disciplined effort there is a multiple reward ”. So an organized effort is a prelude to rewards( of any kind). Little do we realize that its our own preparations, which will lead us to greater and more satisfying choices. If we adopt anything less, then we will only belittle our potential for all times to come.
WAIT is not always negative. Some times it could be strategic. More often it could be used constructively in gearing up to achieve the desired results.
So, do not settle for less. Ask for more, but wait to get there and use the in between time to gather adequate ammunition. When opportunity strikes, you should be firing from all cylinders.
