Dear Suj. Review on Choosing Gifts for Your Girlfriend

Dear Suj,

I met this wonderful girl last week. We hit it off really well. Everything was going great guns- you know, sweet smiles, walking her home, the works. Then comes her birthday and seeing that she?s heavily into makeup, I gave her some usual makeup gloop that gals like, lipstick and some lipliner. That?s all. The next thing I know, she?s off. I mean, she ain?t biting anymore. What gives?

*Suj: You missed the bus, buddy. I am not a bit surprised. You are dense, aren?t you? You met the girl last week and you gave her a lipstick this week! Did you say the three words? No. Did you propose? No. You guys need to know that girls are a little lay-offish inititally. She?s not sure if you?re Mr. Right, Mr. Wrong or Mr. Maybe. If she suspects that you have chances to get categorized in the latter two categories, then she?s still thinking.

This is the time for cute cards, flowers or even a teddy bear. And while she?s still thinking, you give her a lipstick! You?re finished, pal. Start looking elsewhere. And while I am at it, what d?ya mean she ain?t biting anymore. She?s a lady, not a fish. But you are definitely an a.

Dear Suj,

Now I?ve done it. I have a lovely girlfriend who looks absolutely hot. She is very much into rock music and goes ooh! and aah! if she even gets a glimpse of her favourite rock singer. So I got a freaky, hot, magenta hair colour with a magazine subscription of?Punky and funky? for her. I thought that she'll be so happy that we'll get moving. We did get moving but in an altogether opposite direction. Talk about freezeville. She?s cooled down considerably. I mean that spark is missing. What did I do wrong?

Suj: You jerk, just because she is into rock and rap does not make her a Madonna wannabe. She may just be a normal girl trying to spread out her wings a bit. She needs your respect, if you even know the meaning of the word. A girl may go punk once in a while, yet she wants to feel that her guy looks at her like she is a delicate powder puff who has to be treasured. So get a grip on your senses and start shopping again. And by the way, I have a word for guys who call a girl?hot?. It?s called?moron?. Sounds familiar? All I can say is, if the shoe fits, wear it.

Dear Suj,

I am back again. I am in deep trouble. OK, you could say this is the worst sort of trouble I have even been in. As you advised, I shopped again for my gal and this time I got a subscription for?Homes and Gardens?. For good measure, I added a cookery book . And what do I get? She banged the door on me and refuses to answer the doorbell. She says she has had enough of me. What's up?

Suj: Excuse me, Mr. Retarded, you really carry off in extremes. Do you have to give her this idea that you want to erase her individuality jus to feed your big mouth all her life? She must be wondering if she has found one of those male chauvinists who feel that the woman is best in the kitchen. She must be insecure, the poor darling. She must be deeply traumatized. And what do you mean?my gal?? Like?my car? or?my TV?. She is neither yours nor a gal. She is a woman, you joker.

Dear Suj,

I went shopping again. I bought her some diamonds, chocolates, new outfits, some flowers, some cards, new makeup, new perfumes, a teddy bear which says?I love you? thrice when you press its nose, a doll which say?You?re lovely? when you hug her, a music cd titled?Everlasting love songs?, a miniature crystal ball which says?For the most beautiful angel?, some new shoes and?.uh?wait?let me catch my breath.

Suj: Hello, Smartguy. Looks like you finally got some sense. Go and claim your princess. She will be all yours. And send me some of those chocolates.